One Summer in Santorini. Sandy Barker

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СКАЧАТЬ lens. I’m not really one to talk about kindred spirits or anything hokey like that, but I found it refreshing talking to someone without having to edit everything I was thinking. As much as I loved my friends back home, too often I’d say something, and they’d tilt their heads to the side a little and look confused.

      For some time, I’d felt that maybe I was just really weird. Talking to Josh made me feel understood – normal even.

      Our conversation eventually turned to siblings, and we discovered we were both the eldest of two. ‘There’s this unspoken expectation that you’ll be the one to lead the way, to always get it right,’ he said matter-of-factly. ‘No matter what “it” is.’

      ‘At least in your family, it was unspoken. I was always being told to set a good example, to be responsible, to be good. So, I did – I was. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t exactly what you would call a happy child.’ I paused a moment, absorbing what I’d said. I was onto something, and I let the thought continue. ‘Even as a little girl, I was hyper-conscious of doing the right thing. I was so afraid to make a mistake.’ My heart twinged a little for that girl – for me. ‘Meanwhile my sister spent most of her childhood having a ball. She was so cute and charming, and so funny. People adored her. Even today she’s the freer spirit.’

      ‘So, do you think it’s in there somewhere?’

      ‘What?’

      ‘Your free spirit,’ he replied.

      I looked at him for a moment and then back out at the water. ‘I hope so. I’m kind of exhausted by being good all the time. But you know, I put more pressure on myself to be perfect, to get it right, than anyone else does. I’m my own harshest critic. It’s tiring.’ I hadn’t ever expressed it in those terms before – not even to Cat. Especially not to Cat.

      ‘I’ve been thinking a lot about this sort of stuff lately,’ Josh said, breaking through my thoughts.

      ‘Oh yeah?’

      ‘What I’ve realised – and only recently – is that I want my life to be bigger.’

      It was such an elegant thought. So simple. Succinct, yet all-encompassing. He didn’t need to explain it beyond those few words, because I completely understood. Bigger than routine. Bigger than normal. Bigger than the constraints of expectation.

      ‘Well, this trip is a good start, I’d say.’ We shared a smile.

      ‘Yes.’

      I remembered the moment on the bus when I’d wondered if we would become friends. It was hard to conceive how, in such a short time, we’d got to the point where he could share something like that with me. Or that I was comfortable enough to say what I’d said, something no one knew about me, not even my closest friends.

      Josh and I were becoming friends.

      When we got back to the marina, the others had returned to the boat – except Patricia, of course – and the all-women boat was docked beside us. Their skipper, Stuart – a guy who in any other circumstance would probably not be surrounded by women – looked like the cat who’d got the cream. I knew that look. I’d seen it on the faces of coach drivers I’d worked with in Europe during my tour managing days. That look said, ‘I’m going to shag every one of them if I can.’ Not that I blamed him – they were a very attractive group of women.

      Duncan and Stuart had arranged for all of us to have dinner together that night – except Patricia (again). Duncan had chosen a restaurant he’d been to many times before, and when we arrived, he was greeted with lots of fanfare by an effusive Greek woman with very dark curly hair and warm brown eyes. She regarded the large group and waved her hands dramatically at the waiters, indicating for them to move tables together so we could sit at one long table – family style.

      We stood out of the way as tables were lifted above heads, chairs moved two at a time, and place settings reset. When everything was in place, the woman smiled and told us to ‘Sit, sit, sit,’ as she bustled about giving us menus.

      I sat with Josh to the left of me, Marie to my right with Gary next to her. Hannah was across from Marie, with Gerry next to her and Duncan on her right. On the other side of Josh was one of the women from the other boat, a petite, redheaded American named Kiersten.

      Kiersten was the only one from her boat who wasn’t vying for the attention of her skipper during dinner. Instead, all her energies were directed at Josh, and it was quite entertaining watching it all unfold. She was behaving as though she’d been at sea for months with nary a male in sight, rather than on a boat for one whole night and one whole day. And she was ploughing through the white wine like it was water.

      The flirtations began as giggles – everything Josh said was hilarious, even when he wasn’t saying it to her – and then she ratcheted it up a few notches by adding hair twisting and licking her lips a lot. All the while, she was getting drunker.

      When she put her hand on Josh’s thigh, he jumped in his chair, then scooched it so close to mine, our elbows bumped while we ate. Marie, Hannah, Gerry and I watched this spectacle while swapping amused looks.

      ‘So, Hannah, how do you like the calamari?’ I asked, as though nothing weird was happening to my left.

      ‘Hmm. I can do the whole Greek salad thing, but I can’t say I’m particularly into the rest of Greek food so far.’ Her face scrunched up as she looked up and down the table at the array of dishes.

      I shook my head at her. ‘You’re gonna be pretty hungry for the rest of the trip if we don’t find you something you like.’

      Marie tried to help. ‘Goat?’ she asked, passing Hannah a plate piled high with roasted goat meat. Hannah’s face went from scrunched to contorted, and Marie put the goat back where it had come from. She looked at me with a smile. ‘I guess not.’

      Just then Kiersten laughed loudly and Josh practically climbed onto my lap. ‘You alright there?’ I asked him quietly.

      ‘Not really,’ he said, pointedly. ‘Please help me,’ he added in an urgent whisper.

      I made eye contact with him. ‘Seriously?’

      ‘Yes.’

      ‘Like, how much help do you want?’

      ‘A large amount of help.’

      ‘Like, “pretend to be your girlfriend” level of help?’

      ‘Yes. Please.’

      I looked over at Marie, who was listening in. ‘Can you please hand me the goat?’

      She passed it over, and I made a huge show of putting some on Josh’s plate. ‘Here you go, babe,’ I said loudly enough for almost everyone at the table to hear. ‘You wanted to try the goat, right?’

      Josh caught on. ‘Sure, honey. Thanks.’ I took a piece of tomato from his plate with my fingers, and put it in my mouth, licking my fingers seductively.

      We smiled at each other, and I added a cute little nose wrinkle to really seal the deal. Kiersten watched me agog. I winked at her and kept eating. She didn’t miss a beat, suddenly turning her attention to her left and laughing at Stuart’s last comment, something СКАЧАТЬ