Back to Me. Earl Sewell

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      Three

      VIVIANA

      I didn’t go up to Anna’s room as Aunt Raven had asked me to. Instead, I walked up a few steps, situated myself so I couldn’t be seen, then leaned over the banister, eavesdropping on the conversation my mother and aunt were having with Grandmother Esmeralda. I was able to hear my mother say, “What do you want from me? You want me to admit that I’m not as good as Raven?” I could tell by her tone of voice that my mother was on the brink of having another one of her classic “Get off my back” episodes. I was trying to listen in so hard that I got startled when I saw Maya’s friend Keysha coming up the stairs.

      “Excuse me,” she said as if she was royalty and I was some annoying peasant.

      “Do you have a problem with saying hello first?” I asked.

      Keysha snickered at me. “I am not the one,” she said, stepping past me.

      I flipped up my middle finger behind her back before leaning back over the banister to eavesdrop again. I couldn’t hear very much, so I just stood there, wondering what would happen next.

      Eventually, my mom came looking for me. When she saw me standing on the stairs, she asked me to come take a walk with her. We went out into the backyard and stood under the shade of a tree.

      “Look, you’re going to have to stay with your aunt Raven a little while longer,” she began explaining.

      “Are you leaving me again?” My voice was edgy.

      “It’s not so bad here,” my mother said defensively.

      “I don’t want to live here. I want to live with you in our own house. I want to sleep in my own bedroom.”

      “And you will someday,” she said.

      “Someday? What do you mean, someday? Are you about to run off with that jerk and just leave me here?” My emotions were swaying between anger and disbelief.

      “Look, do you think this is easy for me? Everything changed after your father died. It’s hard for me to find another man like him. I am the most honest, caring and loving woman in the world, but sometimes I feel like I will never find another man like your father. I’m getting old, Viviana, and it’s not easy for a woman like me. Martin is the best I can do right now, and I’m not about to give him up. Not for you, not for Raven, no one. Do you understand me?”

      “So, you’re choosing him over me?” I asked as I smeared away an angry tear that was dripping from my left eye.

      “I didn’t say that. I said you have to stay here a little longer so that Martin and I can build a life for ourselves. Don’t you want to see me happy again? It’s not like I’m not including you. I’m just telling you that you have to wait.”

      “I feel like I’ve been waiting all of my life, Mom,” I said as more tears began flowing.

      “Oh, stop being such a crybaby. You’re not a sappy girl. You’re tough, and you need to stop acting like you’re a victim. I’ve never once left you in a bad place. I’ve never left you in a shelter or homeless on the street. I’ve always made sure that you were staying in places much nicer than I could provide for you, and you want to try and make me feel bad because it? What the hell, Viviana?” My mother was now yelling at me.

      Feeling the need to match her anger, I said, “You’re my mother! You’re supposed to take care of me.”

      “Excuse me.” Aunt Raven came outside. “Why don’t you two come in here and have that discussion? I don’t want you to disturb my neighbors.”

      “What? Are you embarrassed by me, Raven?” my mother snapped at her. A few minutes ago my mom seemed reasonable, but now it was as if no matter how polite Aunt Raven was to her, she saw everything she said as a personal attack on her.

      “No, but you do need to lower your voice,” said Aunt Raven. My mother gave her sister a nasty look before turning her attention back to me.

      “Look. It is what СКАЧАТЬ