Congreve's Comedy of Manners. William Congreve

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      I’d as soon owe my beauty to a lover as my wit to an echo.

      Valentine

      Ah, but you do.

      Angelica

      How so?

      Valentine

      To your lover, you owe the pleasure of hearing yourself praised, and to an echo, the pleasure of hearing yourself talk.

      Angelica

      Fah! I’m going out.

      Valentine

      I would beg a little private audience. You had the tyranny to deny me last night, though I came to impart a secret that concerned our love.

      Angelica

      You saw I was engaged.

      Valentine

      You had the leisure to entertain a herd of fools. How can you delight in such society?

      Angelica

      I please myself—besides, I do it for my health.

      Valentine

      Your health!

      Angelica

      Yes. It prevents the vapors. If you persist in this offensive freedom, you’ll displease me. I think I must resolve, after all, not to have you. We shan’t agree.

      Valentine

      Not as regards medicinal matters.

      Angelica

      And yet, our distemper shall be the same, for we shall be sick of one another. I shan’t endure to be reprimanded, nor instructed; ’tis so tedious to be told one’s faults. I can’t bear it. Well, I won’t have you, Valentine. I’m resolved. (hesitating) I think— You may go. (bursts out laughing) Ha, ha, ha. (Valentine shows signs of being thoroughly vexed) (good-naturedly, almost mischievously) What would you give that you could help loving me?

      Valentine (furious)

      I would give something if you did not know I cannot help it!

      Angelica

      Come, don’t look so grave then—it’s a sure sign.

      Valentine

      A man may as soon make a friend with his wit or a fortune by his honesty as win a woman with sincerity!

      Angelica

      Sententious Valentine! Prithee, don’t look so wise and violent—like Solomon at the dividing of the child.

      Valentine (controlling himself)

      You are a merry madame, but I would persuade you to be serious for a moment.

      Angelica

      What, with that face? No, if you keep your countenance it is impossible I should keep mine. (musing) Well, after all, there is something very moving in a lovesick face. Ha, ha, ha. Well, I won’t laugh, it would be cruel—don’t be peevish. Ah, now I’ll be melancholy, as melancholy as, as a poet. (she assumes a very melancholy pose) Well, Val, if you ever would win me, woo me now. (Valentine remains furiously silent) Ah, if you are so tedious, fare you well— (starts to leave)

      Valentine

      Can you not find in the variety of your disposition even one moment?

      Angelica

      To hear you tell me that your father proposes to disinherit you?

      Valentine

      But, how came you to know of it?

      Angelica

      I will leave you to consider. When you have done thinking of that, think of me.

      (Angelica sails out, leaving Valentine perplexed and cursing under his breath.)

      Valentine (exploding)

      INCONSTANT CREATURE!

      (That stops Angelica and she returns.)

      Angelica

      You can’t accuse me of inconstancy; I never told you that I love you.

      Valentine

      Then I accuse you of not telling me whether you do or not.

      Angelica

      I have never troubled myself to make up my mind on the question.

      Valentine

      Nor good nature enough to do so—

      Angelica

      What, are you setting up for good nature?

      Valentine

      As women do for virtue, for the affectation of it. (desperately) Why won’t you hear me with patience?

      Angelica

      I’m tired of being pestered with flames and stuff. I think I shan’t endure the sight of a fire this twelvemonth.

      Valentine

      Even fire cannot melt that cruel, frozen heart.

      Angelica

      God, how I hate your hideous fancy; if you must talk of love, for heaven’s sake, do it with variety; don’t always come like the devil wrapped up in flames. I’ll not hear another sentence that begins: “I burn....”

      Valentine

      Tell me how you would be adored. I am very tractable.

      Angelica

      In silence.

      Valentine

      Humph, I thought so, that you might have all the talk to yourself—you had better let me speak, or I’ll make villainous signs—

      Angelica

      What would you get by that? I won’t understand signs.

      Valentine

      If I am to be tongue-tied, my actions will quicken your apprehensions and—egad—let me tell you my most prevailing argument is expressed in dumb show.

      Angelica

      Foh! An ape is a more troublesome thing than a parrot.

      Valentine

      There are few men but do more silly things СКАЧАТЬ