Real and Phantom Pains: An Anthology of New Russian Drama. John Freedman

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СКАЧАТЬ that falls on your head, it’s all over.

      (“BCH” station identification and an ad for “No Fear in Love.”)

      VOLODYA: What a stupid death

      (SNOWSTORM and ORANGINA drink coffee at the next table. ORANGINA wears a black dress and has a pure expression on her face. She wears no make-up and her hair is pulled back simply. She holds a big Book.)

      SNOWSTORM: Look, I have everything. I’ve achieved everything I wanted to achieve. What is there for me to ask of God? I don’t know. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. You see my eyes?

      ORANGINA: You have blue, blue eyes

      SNOWSTORM: Look into my retinas. What do you see there? Do you even see a hint of sorrow?

      ORANGINA: No, there’s no sorrow in them

      SNOWSTORM: What about fear?

      ORANGINA: No, there’s no fear in them

      SNOWSTORM: Love?

      ORANGINA: No

      SNOWSTORM: Come on, look closer. What do you see there?

      ORANGINA: There’s nothing there at all

      SNOWSTORM: I even bought the exact car I wanted to have

      ORANGINA: What kind?

      SNOWSTORM: A Peugeot. Convertible.

      (Jail cell. A sunbeam comes through the window and hits BLIZZARD right on the crown of the head.)

      BLIZZARD: But love turned out to be something else altogether. Not connected to what I wanted to have. I had hope, I lived in constant expectation of something. But it turns out love is bound up only with whatever you hope to give. You can count on requited love only if fortune smiles on you. But I understand now that’s not essential. It’s as if my tears help me thaw out. I always prayed and I always pray. I’ve begun to believe in God. When I was born I was such a beautiful baby and then stuff got in the way. My head got chock full of filth and I set off down the wrong road –

      (The café. SNOWSTORM looks at ORANGINA. Tears run down ORANGINA’s cheeks.)

      SNOWSTORM: You’re beautiful. Laid-back and deliberate. I love watching you bring a cigarette up to your mouth

      ORANGINA: I simply cannot quit smoking

      SNOWSTORM: There’s a dreaminess in your eyes

      ORANGINA: Oh, I can’t listen to that anymore

      SNOWSTORM: And indifference. To everything happening this very moment

      ORANGINA (Puts out her cigarette): In order to quit smoking you just have to not smoke

      SNOWSTORM: What are you reading?

      ORANGINA: A new book

      SNOWSTORM: I had one like that

      ORANGINA: I don’t read fiction at all anymore

      SNOWSTORM (Taking a call on his cell): Hello. I’m mainstream. Yes, I currently am in demand as never before. (Looks at his image on the television.) Your call has confirmed that once again

      (Jail cell.)

      BLIZZARD: It’s like my heart iced over and turned to stone. It’s numb, but that’s normal, they say. They say that’s natural. It happens to 94 percent of human beings. Now, of course, I realize I have never loved anyone, that all I ever had was a nagging desire for everyone to love and admire me. I wanted to find that one person who would love me. It’s like I was preparing myself as a gift for someone. I tanned myself in a salon. I love nothing but my own body, never even guessing that love was passing me by at that very moment. We shared nothing but temporary physical pleasures, which we all mistakenly call by one and the same name

      (LENOCHKA, MANIAC and SNOWFLAKE enter the café and take off their coats. The girls kiss ORANGINA, take off their coats and other items, taking more and more and more clothing off.)

      LENOCHKA: After that I immediately went and had a glass of wine. Then I went and indulged in the seven deadly sins

      SNOWFLAKE: How was that?

      LENOCHKA: In my thoughts, I mean

      MANIAC: I went out and immediately lit up

      ORANGINA: When you smoke, your prayers do not reach God

      LENOCHKA: Why’s that?

      ORANGINA: Because they cling to the earth like smoke

      SNOWFLAKE: Angels come flying when you make the sign of the cross

      MANIAC: And when you swear they fly away

      SNOWFLAKE: A very bad hangover and deep depression

      LENOCHKA: You’d think somebody could at least call, some guy of some sort

      ORANGINA: You’re off limits. You’re married

      SNOWFLAKE: Two men told me they love me today

      MANIAC: And you want more, don’t you?

      LENOCHKA (Nods towards ORANGINA): Can somebody get her out of her trance?

      ORANGINA: I downed a vodka and it had no effect at all. Stone cold sober

      LENOCHKA: How can you possibly drink vodka?

      SNOWFLAKE: You can’t

      MANIAC: Vodka? There ain’t nothin’ better

      SNOWFLAKE: God, what I didn’t drink yesterday

      (They all look over the menu.)

      SNOWSTORM: Green tea?

      LENOCHKA: Jasmine

      ORANGINA: And Coca-Cola

      SNOWFLAKE: I drank whiskey and martinis yesterday

      LENOCHKA: They even have parmesan carpaccio with mushrooms

      MANIAC: Parmesan is a no-no

      SNOWSTORM: I don’t eat mushrooms

      LENOCHKA: Why not?

      SNOWSTORM: They make me want to vomit

      MANIAC: They remind him of other mushrooms that he can’t eat anymore

      LENOCHKA: People who have ingested a lot of mushrooms usually can’t even talk about it

      SNOWFLAKE: Let alone eat them

      MANIAC: I know

      LENOCHKA: Is fish out, too?

      ORANGINA: СКАЧАТЬ