The Bachelor Party. Ron Hummer

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СКАЧАТЬ he is an idiot. He’s a mean, rotten, nasty, obnoxious man. And he is so annoying.”

      “But wasn’t your brother killed by a mobster?” Elaine inquired.

      “That’s what we thought at first. But Jack solved the case. It turned out to be my brother’s girlfriend’s brother. He was a real bastard. He somehow got my brother to agree to blackmail a mobster. Then he killed my brother just to make it look like the mobster killed him.”

      “Jesus,” Emily said.

      “Yeah. This guy who killed my brother. Billy Drummond. That was his name. He beat up a girl. Broker her nose. He also beat up her boyfriend.”

      “That’s so awful,” Elaine said.

      “The only good thing was when Jack found out that Billy Drummond killed my brother. He beat the hell out of Billy, then broke his nose and cheekbone when he slammed a freezer door in Drummond’s face.”

      Emily and Elaine grinned at that.

      “Then he took Drummond into the bathroom and put his face in a toilet bowl.”

      “Oh, that is so disgusting,” Emily said.

      “Sounds like he deserved it,” Elaine said.

      “That’s for sure,” Amanda agreed.

      “And he won’t work for you now?” Emily asked.

      “Nope. He’ll just say that he’s busy. I know he isn’t. I sent three of my colleagues down to see him about handling other cases. He said no to all of them.”

      Emily: “Because he doesn’t like lawyers?”

      “Right. One of the partners went down to see him. Again, Jack refused to help him. So Alex, he’s the partner here, said oh, it must be great that you can turn down people during these times because you have so much work.”

      “What did Jack say?” Elaine asked.

      “He said, are you a John Sanford fan? Alex said no. So Jack says oh, there’s a really good lawyer joke in one of his books. Do you want to hear it? Of course, Alex said no but then Jack says but it’s really funny. You have to hear it. Again, Alex says no but Jack says I know you’ll get a really good laugh so I’ll tell you the joke anyway. Now what is the difference between a lawyer found unconscious on the road and a skunk found unconscious on the road. Alex said I don’t know and Jack says the tire tracks stop after the skunk.”

      Elaine and Emily shook their heads.

      Amanda said, “Anyway, Alex was so mad that he came back to the office and told me that I am not to mention Jack Roscoe’s name in this office. He said he will tell all the lawyers that he knows not to hire him.”

      “Sounds like Jack Roscoe wouldn’t care,” Emily said.

      “In fact, I called him and told him how mad Alex was and that he had no right to act that way.”

      “And what did Jack say?”

      “Thanks for telling me. My office manager and I will have a big celebration. Tell him it’s okay to take ads out in the stupid law journals that he doesn’t like me. I don’t care.

      “Then Jack says to me that maybe you’ll stop calling me as well. After all, you’re getting to be like gum on my shoe. So I said don’t worry, I won’t be calling you anymore you obnoxious bastard.”

      Emily raised her eyebrows. “I guess you hung up.”

      “Yes, and his last words were promises promises promises.”

      “Wow, he really is obnoxious,” Elaine said.

      “Unbelievable,” Emily said. “What do the police think of him?”

      “The police. They love him. Can’t understand why although I met the chief of homicide detectives when my brother was murdered. Jack was there also. He was called in as a witness originally. He said that Jack is a great detective and he put a lot of mobsters away even though he is a jerk.”

      Emily and Elaine shook their heads.

      “Now you know,” Amanda said. “Look, I have other names...”

      “I think we’ll talk to Jack Roscoe first,” Emily said.

      Amanda’s jaw dropped open. “You’re kidding, right?”

      “No,” Emily said angrily. “That rotten bastard Frank Russo had our son beaten up in prison. I’m not going to let him get away with it.”

      “I agree, Mom,” Elaine said. I think we should hire him. Is he far from here?”

      “Far from here. He spends a lot of time in Willie’s Tavern shooting pool and drinking beer. No. Actually he likes Jack and Coke’s because the name is the same as his first name.”

      “Let me go there and talk to him Mom,” Elaine suggested.

      “We’ll double his fee if we have to,” Emily added.

      “Emily,” Amanda said, “He doesn’t care about the money. He won’t work for you. You’re a lawyer. Don’t you get it?”

      Emily and Elaine stood up. “That’s true,” Emily said.

      “Mom, let me handle this. I’ll challenge him to a game of pool. You know I can beat him.”

      “You are a good pool player,” Emily said. “You were champion of your sorority three times in four years.”

      “I beat a lot of men and boyfriends too. They all thought they could beat me because I’m a woman.”

      “I don’t believe this,” Amanda shouted, throwing her hands in the air. “Emily, I am telling you not to hire Jack Roscoe. I have other names.”

      The door opened and a bald headed man stuck his head in. “Amanda, your 3:00 meeting is here.”

      “Have him wait, Joe.”

      “We will be on our way,” Emily said. “I’ll let you know what happens.” They walked out the door.

      “No, wait a minute,” Amanda said.

      “Amanda, you have to go to your meeting. He’s in the conference room.”

      “Have him wait Joe,” Amanda screamed. She ran after Emily and Elaine as they reached the elevator.

      “Emily,” Amanda said, “Stop.” Elaine pressed the button and the door opened.

      “Amanda, go to your meeting,” Emily demanded.

      “As your attorney, I am ordering you not to hire Jack Roscoe.”

      “Amanda,” Emily chuckled. “Don’t worry. We’ll won’t tell Alex.”

      “Emily,” СКАЧАТЬ