Forbidden Graces, Book One: Beginnings. Carol Inc. Bridges

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СКАЧАТЬ to touch my face. I fall back in slow motion. She is naked or am I imagining this? She is primal. She begins again to dance. I rise up. Slowly. Move with her. I, too, am naked. Or dreaming. I don't care. I don't even think. I just am. I am music. I am movement. I am the energy of all things. Everything touches me. Passes through me. I am a mist. I am a forest. I am the beginning of Time. I am life itself. I am gone."

      The Heart Tent

      All have participated in my awakening. She sits before me. Holding her cup with two hands, she offers me a sip. Her eyes say, "Thank you." The others nod, "Yes. This is how it is. You are one of us."

      I look around to my friends who share this table with me. The kitchen is gone. We are in a very large tent. The light is from candles or lanterns, very warm. Everyone is decked in beads and jewels. The scent is strong, perhaps frankincense. There is wine in golden cups.

      "We are here in your heart, Wren. This is a most beautiful place you have created for us by your sharing. Do you remember? You were telling us of your Dance of Awakening and the love that passed between you and Shae. You brought us here into your sacred space by sharing your story. Thank you."

      "Thank you," I say. "Can we stay here in this place?" I ask.

      "For as long as you wish. Though there is a sacred place in each of us. You may want to visit as we take you into our hearts with our own stories."

      "I want very much to visit each of your sacred places, but let us just be here for this night. I want to spend this time with Shae."

      "Of course, my brother."

      Union

      My guests have gone to their personal tents. I stand at the opening looking out into a deep blue darkness, rich with life energy. I hear faint melodies and cannot tell whether it is nature itself or a musician's instrument. I close the flap as I turn inward. Shae is sitting bare-breasted upon the sheepskin mat. I come before her.

      Kneeling, I ask, "May I take this time to simply gaze at you? I will show myself to you as well. This is my body, the body of love given to me by the gods of such things. I have cared for it well here in my heart space. Inside this tent, everything is as it was meant to be. I speak the words that I cannot clearly speak in life, though my dance has revealed my heart to you.

      "I remove all falseness here. This is who I truly am. I also see you in your fullness. Because you have invited me, I stand before you. Because you have surrendered to your greater being, I see your utmost beauty. I have joined with you in spirit; my flesh awaits its invitation. The energy shall guide this body into our dance of physical union when the Presence compels us to unite. I do surrender now to all that shall be shared between us."

      "Wren, your honesty reaches the depths of my soul, takes my hand, pulls me toward you. I, too, surrender now to all that shall be shared between us."

      "I am touching the gateway, carrying flowers in my heart. As I open my crown chakra, the Supreme Presence flows through me to bless you with the gift of love. I am the messenger, bringing you all that you desire. Receive."

      "All of my doors fly open upon seeing you, divine male whom I have chosen to be my God-man. Your gift is received as my pleasure. Deposit your treasures inside me. I will take them as love, as inspiration, as unity with all kin. Merge with each of my chakras. Let our lights be companions enjoying every level of bliss. Taste me. Feel me. Hear my sighs. Gaze with the long look of appreciation of all of my form, for each part of me wishes to be recognized and to know you in return. Let us begin."

      At the Grave

      All the tents glow like fireflies in the distant dark below the hillside where Grandmother performs her ritual. Her timeless hands caress the ground, feeling the dirt like soft skin. Earth, this Sacred Mother, holds her beloved, Tha, for this Time, taking in his physical body and reading the stories it has to tell.

      It is a private time, once called "death," in which the Sacred Mother embraces her human-born child again, listens, sings to him. After the long, slow telling, she kisses his wounds, applies her herbal ointments, and rocks him to rest with her night lullaby. She does not hurry to awaken his soul again, allowing the body to completely release all that it took in and could not share.

      Sacred Mother imparts to Grandmother that the life womb can be prepared for the time when a new physical vehicle will be needed. Grandmother begins by calling the Water. "Come, be ready to surround this soul again, to nourish new cells, to bless with your current and move him onto his life path. Come, Fire, generate heat to ignite a new start, to supply the vigor and flare it takes to begin a new life. Come, Air, breathe all around him until he feels your subtle wind over his nostrils and must take it in.

      Mother Earth. Mother - material. Mater - real. Mother - made real. Your body is my body. Your elements are my life. You shape us. You share us. You claim our remains. I cherish each form you provide. If it be within the Great Will, I shall again cherish the living form of this one, Tha, whom I have loved so deeply in many, many lives. So be it. Ho!"

      Grandmother strokes the ground. "I am here, Tha. I shall never leave you." She begins to sing, to rock and sing as she sits cross-legged on the ground. Deep below, the Sacred Mother hears her. Two women weep together softly in their knowing, in their love for life, in their deep, abiding love for every form of life.

      Molten lava flows hidden beneath the surface, gold is formed, bones are made into stone; everything has a chance to change, to become something it never imagined it could be. There is a fierce raw power in Sacred Mother's cauldron. She stirs carefully. Grandmother feels this heat rise up her spine.

      The energy travels through each of her chakras, centers of consciousness, pausing in each to bring new vision before bursting into the sky to blend with angel wing clouds which will carry it to exactly where it is needed. She kisses the ground good night and walks home.

      Entering the Garden

      All of the flowers Grandmother planted feel her approach. Though this is their time of rest, they still emit their feeling of welcome as she enters the yard. The old studio sends out a small ray of memory. The stairs to the house recognize her footsteps.

      "I love you," she says to everything here. "Thank you for your beauty and inspiration. I will see you in the morning. Time now to sleep." The creek ripples gently through her awareness. All the night creatures chirp and peep in their summer concert imparting the healing harmonies to all who listen.

      Grandmother feels the spirit of Tha as she lays her body down and takes the breath coming into her window into herself. "This is the subtle wind that unites us. The breath of God. It flows through all beings and is, therefore, you my love. I feel your closeness even without your physical form. You comfort me still." Tha thanks her for her prayers and lays his spirit down beside her in the way he always did.

      The four monks stand by assisting Tha in his communications with her. "Focus. Observe. Listen," they say. "There is a moment just before sleep when you can lift her up to join you for the night. As long as she wants you, you may bring her through the realms far enough to dream well together. Take her to the Temple of Love. We will instruct you there. She feels you now. Reach out. Take her hand."

      The Temple of Love

      It is a strange place, old, overgrown with vines. Massive stones, some broken as if the place has been long abandoned. But, I can tell СКАЧАТЬ