Forbidden Graces, Book One: Beginnings. Carol Inc. Bridges

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      The women that morning felt rested. Having prepared a final feast of all the leftovers and made extra pies to offer when surprised by the day, they folded the large and colorful tent into a shopping bag as only women can do, watered some seeds in the barren land with their bath water and sent the children to their grandparents for the day or the season, they weren’t sure.

      Then, they followed the sounding of the gong and set out to meet the Mystery. All the while, just over the hill, the men were coming toward them, blindly, for the sun was so bright that day. Trusting, for all else had failed them. Sometimes whooping in a loud, clear voice just because it rang like freedom in their veins. Sometimes kneeling for a moment, compelled by who-knows-what to kiss the dirt, the sand, the dusty path.

      And looking back, behind them they could see nothing. Ahead, a mirage of flowing garments wrapped around, yes, it was...women...women like leaves rustling toward them, like the tide coming in, like comets traveling across the night sky, for each had his own way of describing the magnificent.

      When they were near enough to notice, all the forms merged into the Delighted One. Only God could be seen. Only God could be felt. The just-right rains came. Moisture everywhere and clear. Chalices filled to overflowing. Gongs were at peace in their holdings. The Great Om continued. And before long...creation.

      Sorrow

      “I must have been dreaming, a troubling dream about a time of great sorrow,” spoke Saffi.

      “Umm,” groaned the lover, waking gently.

      “I lost a child,” she said.

      “No, this cannot be. We have children all around; I have seen them.”

      “But, I felt this one was somehow mine, that he belonged to me and we would be close.”

      “Are you not loved by all the children?”

      “Of course. It was a dream.”But, later, as she stirred the tea, her mind circled back to a yellow house with tears in its room. She remembered lifting the tears, heavy in their small, soft clothing and putting them in her heart.

      She remembered touching something seemingly separate from herself, then wondered, “How could that be?” Lifting her cup, she then saw the mullein herb bowing toward her, releasing itself from the garden soil, knowing it was about to become another form of life, to experience an entire new range of sensations, to share in a moment of complete satisfaction while the human was pleasured. She gave thanks to this spirit of the day, its comfort, its healing.

      Yaro watched her. Deep blue eyes like small skies invited him to fly in, float into her consciousness. He recognized the invitation and leapt, without moving, into her memory. He saw himself there too, in the small room of the yellow house comforting her, saying, “Life is eternal,” and taking her pain into himself.

      “I see,” he said as he returned. “We were so strong. We stayed together. It was hard. Let us go now and find the child who brought us these gifts.”

      As they walked toward the singing forest holding the shared memory, the limbs of trees waved them by and lilies nodded to affirm the way. Everything knew. Across the valley, sunlight laid itself down before them, bending the grass, moving the turtles, skittering the birds, making the way. Saffi and Yaro walked briskly, lighter with every step until they could see him coming, the one who had cried, the son, the lost child.

      So filled with gladness, words tumbled out, falling into piles like toys and stuffed animals. “I have them here,” he said, “the things you gave me,” though they could not see a container and were puzzled. “Myself,” he said, “I am made of those things, that which you showed me, your feelings, your words, the things you believed in and desired. I am all of these and more. I needed only a few years of your teachings to complete myself. And I had hoped to offer you more than I took. Please forgive my leaving.”

      “Dearest child, the loss lived in our hearts, but created there a holy place where we became ever more grateful for that which we had shared.”

      “It was this pain that washed my heart chalice clean,” said Yaro.

      And Saffi hugged their child in the way only a mother can, for a long time, and let her sorrow slowly melt into the cauldron of awareness. The child was, indeed, himself, luminous and whole. There was no need in him. No longing in her. They were complete.

      She saw him blend into the trees and sky and ground becoming at once part of it all and, yet, his own soul. She was satisfied. Love radiated from all things and she could tell no difference between them save the colors and sounds for every creature equally rested in God’s bliss. Even the tea.

      Morning

      As the lovers awakened, each recalled a thread of the lives they left behind. Kate-Amee was stronger than she remembered herself being, as if her body had just completed a year of athletic training. She had to look in the mirror. “Do I really look like this?”

      Reuban laughed, came closer, whispered, “Yes.” He took her hand, very slowly, attentively, as if he had never touched something so exquisite. His energy wrapped around her and persuaded her body to surrender to the dance. They glided without shoes or scarves or clothing into a unity of movement like tall grasses in the wind.

      “Let us not disturb their reverie,” said Wren. “Here all acts are respected. All are equal, as we can no longer separate work from play. There is no poison to fear, no hate, no greed.”

      Shae said, “I have long prayed for this, but somehow did not imagine the transition to be as quick nor as pervasive. Everything has changed just enough on the one hand to feel familiar, and on the other to be so vastly superior to all prior experiences. I can hardly believe it has occurred. Yet, here we are. I look at you and see only God.”

      “I see not only a most beautiful woman,” responded Wren, but an illumined soul. Your light permeates my body as if all barriers have dissolved. What’s more, I do not feel this as an intrusion, but rather as a fulfillment of all desires.”

      “Let us be with this now in silence.”

      Nearby

      “I wonder about the others,” said Roan. “Have they come too? Has everyone been lifted to this state of being?”

      “Of course,” said Keara. “We carried them all in our hearts for most of our lives. We prayed for them, counseled them, cajoled them from time to time. Don’t you remember the longing? The disappointments when we thought we were not getting the job done? There were so many poisons to release and overcome.”

      “I tried to be an example.” said Roan. Live well. Do yoga. Eat properly. I was very focused on the physical. You tackled the emotional realm. Very sticky.”

      “Toward the last, I simply gave up trying to awaken others and entered a period of full devotion to the Higher Beings,” said Keara. I painted them. Contemplated their divinity. Allowed them to function through my body. Still, I wanted a partner. I wanted someone to share in the grace.”

      “He is with you now, sacred woman.” We have been made worthy of the love we have found by the love we have given to others. I have been humbled many times and given guidance on refining my ability to express the subtle gratitudes that can please a woman. I shall attend now СКАЧАТЬ