The Wounds of War. Gary Blinco

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СКАЧАТЬ of a change really. I have lived with them all of my life, except for the month when Gary and I had a flat. Then he got promoted to sergeant and was shipped back to Vietnam.’ She smiled ruefully, ‘It seems as if I never met him sometimes.’

      ‘You met him right enough’, the doctor laughed, ‘at least once’. She smiled again and made for the door. ‘Better come and see me every month to begin with’, he advised as they walked along the corridor, ‘or sooner if you feel you need to. We’ll increase the visits towards the end’.

      ‘And my work?’ She paused near the door. ‘Keep at it’, he said airily, ‘unless you are a bricklayer or something like that. Just keep working until you begin to feel it’s too much, it will keep your mind off what’s happening in your tummy’.

      She walked from the building with her heart and mind racing. Pregnant for God’s sake! Who would have thought such a thing? Of course she suspected something was up, the tiredness and morning sickness had filled her with dread, and her period was late, but it often was so she had not read too much into that. She went quickly to the car park and climbed into her father’s new Holden Kingswood. She loved the new smell of the car’s upholstery, and she enjoyed the tight responsiveness of the brand new vehicle as she guided it along the busy street.

      Somehow she did not even feel really married, let alone pregnant. She had always been a shy sort of person, and totally unmoved by the various men she had met since leaving high school. Unlike her sister, Mary, Leanne had not had dozens of boyfriends, or numerous sexual encounters. Mary related to the world, and to men in particular, in a very physical way. Leanne thought of her rather innocent past as she managed the car through the traffic, wondering at the differences between her and her younger sister, feeling a sudden stab of regret as she contemplated what she might have missed. Her sister was currently on a one-year working holiday in Europe, and Leanne sometimes envied her for that as well. But the regrets quickly left her, she liked herself for what she was, and that seemed to her to be the most important thing.

      Her parents had a holiday house on the Queensland Sunshine Coast, a place where her family had spent every holiday she could remember in her life. It was almost as if they were not really holidays at all in the end, just a change of address a few times a year. Her parents, however, were devoted to the place and they still went there for a few days whenever they could escape. That suited Mary, she could entertain her various boyfriends in the house then. Usually with very noisy sexual antics while Leanne lay alone in her own bed, or watched television, trying to ignore the action that took place around her. Leanne did not sit in judgment of her sister at all; she simply did not share her raw animal desires.

      She preferred to relate to the world with her mind and emotions, and the young men she had met left her cold. She seemed to prefer older men, particularly her boss. Perhaps it took males longer to develop a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives, and it was only after they showed some maturity that they began to interest her. Unfortunately most of the men who interested her were already spoken for, or regarded her as a mere child, so she had remained an unattached but largely contented virgin.

      That was until she met Gary Bishop. Mary had convinced her to attend one of the many parties she frequented at the Brisbane Army Base. ‘Come on, Leanne’, she had begged, ‘some of these army types are real dolls. They are all in great physical shape, and they know how to have a good time. You don’t have to sleep with anybody, for Christ’s sake, just come and let your hair down for a change. You’ll end up a bloody nun if you’re not careful’. She had relented in the end, just to please Mary.

      The party had been pretty much as she expected. Lots of beer, loud music and shallow, meaningless conversation. She had noticed Gary Bishop sitting on the sidelines like herself, his face a mask of boredom as the party took place around him. He had felt some intent in her penetrating gaze and looked up. Their eyes had locked for perhaps a minute too long. A spark was ignited on both sides. He felt drawn to her, he moved over to introduce himself. They got on well from the beginning and before she knew it she was going steady with him. Somehow he had stirred feelings and desires in her that had been dormant so far in her life, and she liked the new emotions that romped through her when she was with him.

      Gary was very good looking in a rugged, dark, brooding sort of way; not as shallow and selfish as most of the men his age. He was somehow very remote as well, a sort of island, and that aspect of his nature had a strange appeal to Leanne. It spoke of depth and complexity. Perhaps she saw a bit of herself in him and that was the real attraction between them. There was definite passion and romance in their relationship, but he never tried to go beyond kissing and fondling, his values seemed old-fashioned like her own. She was often disappointed when he stopped just as she felt she wanted him to go on forever, but the disappointment turned to gratitude after their fiery passion had cooled.

      She could not deny the upbringing that told her sex was something to be reserved for marriage, and that fickle, empty encounters would only lead to heartache. But for the first time in her life, she realised that she wanted a physical relationship with this man, something she had never wanted with any other man before, and she took this to be love. Whatever it was, she felt compelled to pursue it.

      Gary’s father had died while he was in Vietnam the first time; and he now seemed completely devoted to his mother and his younger brothers and sisters. She had only met his family once before they were married; when he had taken her on the two-hour drive inland to the country for a long weekend. His family now lived in a small town, but they were rough, country people and they seemed out of place now in this urban environment, even in such a small town.

      The farm, where he had grown up, had had to be sold when his father died. Now his mother and the children, some of whom were still very young, struggled to adapt to town life. The family seemed dirt poor to Leanne, perhaps because she had never really suffered poverty herself. She didn’t really connect with any of them during the visit, and didn’t really associate Gary with them, despite his obvious love and affection for his family. It was the hidden, mysterious part of Gary that intrigued her, and the raw animal attraction she felt for him stirred her emotions until it came to resemble love, or what she mistook for love.

      Of course her own father’s job as a bank manager had not made her family rich, but it provided an adequate lifestyle, even a luxurious one, compared to Gary’s. His mother seemed a bit resentful of Leanne, perhaps because her son was clearly the centre of the woman’s universe at the time, and she did not want to share him with anyone. Gary’s whole family obviously regarded him as an outstanding success; his new world of travel and adventure a far cry from their narrow existence and his own bush beginnings.

      Gary’s mother delighted in telling stories of the family’s hardships on the land. She watched Leanne’s reaction from the corner of her eye as she told of children going to bed with empty stomachs, of droughts and fires that had threatened their very existence. The woman was warm and caring, but Leanne felt out of place and uncomfortable the whole weekend. Somehow the rough, overcrowded old house where they lived offended her sensibilities. She supposed they all thought her spoiled and city bred, but she could not help it.

      Despite her discomfort and reservations about his family, and his sometimes remoteness, Leanne liked Gary’s sense of commitment to his family and his job, and they began to spend every available minute together. When he at last asked her to marry him she was overjoyed, despite the fact that they had only known each other for three months. She accepted without hesitation, convinced that the strong physical attraction they shared would continue to grow and form the basis of the emotional and intellectual connections she was struggling to build at the moment.

      Leanne threw herself into the wedding preparations, but sometimes, deep down, she felt somehow unmoved by the whole process. It was probably just nerves, she told herself. The excitement СКАЧАТЬ