Everyone Loves You When You're Dead. Neil Strauss

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      Christina Aguilera marched into her publicist’s New York office, loudly smacking chewing gum. She was wearing baggy green army pants, a gold-chain necklace reading Christina, and a faded jean jacket over a navel-exposing T-shirt emblazoned with the word Rockstar. Her lips were glossed too pale, her eyes shadowed too blue. She plopped into a chair and splayed her legs over the armrest. Without stopping the music blaring on her headphones, she ordered, “Could you put Hot 97 on the radio?”

      The next stop for the pop princess: a greasy feast at Houston’s restaurant, where she insisted that everyone plunge each tortilla chip into all three dipping sauces—spinach-artichoke, sour cream, and salsa—for optimum flavor.

      I’d been assigned to spend a week with this seemingly spoiled-rotten nineteen-year-old for her first Rolling Stone cover story. And only an hour into the experience, I was already regretting it.

       How did the photo shoot go?

      CHRISTINA AGUILERA: Everyone was like, “She’s going crazy during that Rolling Stone photo shoot.” They’re so afraid that I’m going to be too sexy, you know what I mean.

       Sexy in what way?

      AGUILERA: I was doing some crazy stuff and my publicist was like, “Christina, don’t do that! Christina, don’t do this!” But I like being a little provocative.

       Of course to the record label, you’re not a person, you’re an investment.

      AGUILERA: Exactly. She’s like, “I wouldn’t care so much if you didn’t have such a great voice.” She was becoming an alcoholic at the shoot, pulling her hair out and asking for more red wine. She was finally like, “Put your hands on your crotch, I don’t care!”

       So what were you doing exactly?

      AGUILERA: It was crazy. I had my Walkman on for a couple of poses and I put it right, you know, where my crotch is. And I was looking at the camera kind of full on and strong, and head down a little bit and sassy. Just doing that suggestiveness. It was interesting. . . .

       To just vamp it up a little bit?

      AGUILERA: Yeah, you need that release sometimes.

       I think that’s part of the pop music tradition, to walk that line between innocence and sexuality.

      AGUILERA: Sexuality is a part of how I perform onstage. It’s something that I’m playful with and flirt with, and that’s flirting with disaster sometimes. It’s just part of my nature and I can’t help that. I’m not crossing the border too much, yet. But . . .

       But what?

      AGUILERA: I just don’t think I can hide who I am much longer.

       As the week passes and I travel with Aguilera to Toronto, where she’s rehearsing for a tour, her teeny-bopper façade begins to melt away and reveal something much more real and vulnerable. At dinner one night, while her band and dancers get drunk and rowdy, Aguilera sits quietly near the corner of the table, talking with her choreographer, Tina Landon. In her hotel room the next morning, she apologizes for her introverted behavior.

      AGUILERA: Yesterday was a weird thing. I was in a bad mood about something that happened. I was pulled out of rehearsals, and I didn’t want to be. There was drama. I was talking with Tina about that—and about my love, my first love. I fell in love for the first time this year. I’m kinda like going through it.

       That’s a great thing to experience.

      AGUILERA: It’s crazy. I’ve never felt like that before. It’s a little bit scary. I’m used to being this independent chick like not even really thinking about boys, and all of a sudden—whoa—like, this guy takes over everything. Well, not everything. But my focus is suddenly about this guy. It’s made me vulnerable, and I don’t like to be that way. [. . .]

       Do you think you’re experiencing it because you’re at an age now where you’re open to those feelings, or is it real chemistry with him?

      AGUILERA: What do you mean chemistry?

       When you’re drawn to this one person and they’re drawn to you, and there’s this electricity and you can’t logically figure out why.

      AGUILERA: Yeah, it’s like, why am I so crazy over this person? It’s so crazy, so crazy. It’s beautiful. It’s tough, though, to really maintain a relationship while doing what I’m doing. You have to deal with СКАЧАТЬ