Fred's Amazing Holiday. Ian Higgins

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      Great! Roma Street Railway Station at last... Didn’t take that long after all. Gees! There are lots of places to go to on the boards. But who’d want to go to Pinkenba? Better Toogoolawah. Never been there. Ferny Grove looks good. I think there is a creek you can swim in there. Not sure how I’d find it. If you don’t know, ask a policeman; but he might ask me why I am not at school and me saying, I am going by myself to the dentist, will seem a bit funny, after asking the way to the creek. Think I’ll forget about Ferny Grove. Go there another day.

      Wow. A lot of places on this board I’ve never been. Like Mr Brown’s lessons on Geography and the Products of Queensland. Bundaberg: sugar and rum. Rockhampton: beef. Longreach: not sure, something to do with QANTAS, the Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Service. Mr Brown drummed that into us. Don’t think Qantas is a product... Won’t worry, but think I’ll go for Longreach. Wonder how long it takes to get there? I’ll be able to say to Dad, I been where you said I was born, you know the joke, when I reached over past Grandpa to get the tom sauce bottle. I did ask Grandpa three times to pass the sauce please!, but he was talking too much; or didn’t hear. So I just leaned as far as I could and grabbed it. Then Grandpa says, “Where did he come from?” (Not too pleased) So Dad says quick as a flash, “He was born in Longreach .Didn’t ya know?” And all Grandpa says is, “Matter of fact. No.” End of story.

      I wish I had known I was going to Longreach, last night. I could have put a clue in my letter, like “Off to visit, where I was born. Hint, Hint, Ask Dad.

      I better stop all this day dreaming and work out what to do next... I know, I will do what I saw my rather naughty, Aunty Mildred do, when she was off to Charleville. I will just buy a Platform Ticket for one penny and then hop on the train, when it’s about to go: even if Mum says, “Don’t you ever try to copy Aunt Mildred.” Sometimes you gotta break the rules but. Trouble is, when Aunty is on the train, when the ticket man comes around collecting tickets, she gives him a fiver and asks for a good seat. When I ask Aunty about this she says, “The porters don’t get paid much They like real paper money better than little pieces of cardboard tickets!” and she adds, “You’ll understand, when you grow up.” Mum says with a sour face, “Some of us never understand.” Sisters have goes at each other, sometimes, not nice. But I don’t have a five pound note. Have to work something different out. First step: go to the ticket counter.

      “I want a one penny platform ticket, please”

      “Who are you with?”

      “With my Aunt Mildred who is going to Charleville, I mean Longreach. I came with my Mum, but she is trying to settle Aunt Mildred down. They have hurried ahead. Aunty always thinks she is running late, even when she ain’t.”

      “Where’s the money sonny? Thanks! Here’s your ticket. Platform Three”

      Lucky! He did not ask something like, “How come your Mum hasn’t bought a platform ticket?” I’d have to say, “Sorry Mister. I forgot. Please give me two. Then I would have spent another penny, but not the Ladies Lavvy way.

      THE NEXT TRIP

      At last, the train is about to go. Get on quick! Say goodbye to the family and Mr Brown, I’m off to Longreachtown, on my way, wont be back for many a day.

      Here’s a good seat. Just smile nicely at the big lady: look carefully at the seat number and sit down. Just the right spot for me. I can see up the whole length of the corridor and spot the ticket man, when he is coming. Better get out Kidnapped. Start reading. Keep a look out.

      I like the hero of Kidnapped. David Balfour is like me. He goes it alone. In Treasure Island, Jim Hawkins is with Squire Trelawney and Dr Livesey most of the time. I like it near the very start of Kidnapped, when David asks the Minister of Essendean, “If you were in my shoes would you go?” The minister says in old fashioned talk, “Of a surety, that would I, and without pause.” They talk funny in olden times, but you can catch on... get the drift, as long as you think about it hard. I wish we still said, “Methinks.” That’s a good old word, fur sure.”

      Better keep an eye out for the ticket collector. Oops. Here he comes. Must speak nicely to the lady.

      “I forgot to go to the MENS, before we left. Just busting. Please could you keep an eye on my bag? I’ll be back soon.”

      “Sure, be happy to. Take your time.”

      Sure will.

      I head up almost collide with the ticket collector. “I beg your pardon. Excuse me, Sir.”

      Got past him... Now I am safe. Click the latch over! Sit for long enough for him to move. Read a bit more of Kidnapped.

      *******************

      Bang, Bang, Bang, Someone has come knocking on my Wee Door. Ha, Ha, Ha...

      Now there’s an angry man’s voice, “Just you in there! Hurry up! You don’t have to stay in there all day!”

      I yell back, “Sorry I am hurrying! Got a big tummy upset!” Pull the chain, and down comes the water, Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh. And I am out the door fast. Make sure I don’t look at the nasty man who’s waiting ... .Just run off down the corridor and back to my seat: the ticket collector nowhere in sight.

      Now I am waiting to see the Glass House Mountains, and there is Crookneck and there is Beerwah. So close! Wow! I love rocks like that!

      Mr Brown says, Captain Cook on the Endeavour, named them the Glass House Mountains, because they reminded him of glass houses in England. Must have been an afternoon, after the rain and the sun was shining on them. To me they look like massive stones stuck there. I have never seen a glass-house, except in a picture in Alice in Wonderland, where the Rabbit falls into one and smashes the glass. Dad says the Glass House Mountains are the hard cores of extinct volcanoes that you call plugs, and that all the ash and loose rocks have been weathered away by wind and rain over millions of years.

      I like volcanoes. In our Richards Topical Encyclopaedia, there is a coloured plate of an active volcano that has been sliced down the middle: so you can see in the diagram what is going on inside the volcano, as well as outside, when a volcano erupts. I like collecting volcanic rocks, pumice, basalt, obsidian, and the hardest to remember, trachytes.

      ...What a shame. We are past the Glass House Mountains already: on the way to Rocky many miles away. Better get back into Kidnapped.

      *******************

      Oh! We are coming into Gympie already. Gympie and Gold, easy to remember: Gee, Gee. Well, we have been galloping along. Gympie. This is where you get tea in the Rooms, but I will just get into my feed bag. Somewhere in here are the sandwiches Mum made for me this morning... seems a long time ago and far away too. Betta get out my note book... put it there, until I gobble up the sandwiches. Then I will write a few notes, “lest we forget.” Then I will hit the hay.

      Mum says I got the brains of a grasshopper, always jumpin’ all over the place. I think she’s got brains like mine too, but I did not say, “Guess who I got the grasshopper brains from?” These sandwiches taste great. Grandpa says that in Don Quixote someone says hunger is the best sauce of all... reckon they are right.

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