I Love the Word Impossible. Ann Kiemel

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СКАЧАТЬ i now achieve, with God’s help,

      will no longer be phenomenal, but expected.

      being grown up can be scary. no more room

      for excuses.

      as a child in a conservative evangelical home,

      truth was black and white;

      life, cut and dried.

      by the time i reached college,

      i was self-assured about my stability

      and wisdom to control

      whatever rough spots came along.

      there might be pain and struggle,

      but God and i would come through.

      i knew ann.

      ann had foundation.

      she was strong. now,

      several years later, i’m amazed

      at how poorly i sometimes came through

      (certainly no blame on God),

      and shocked at how confused i

      was in situations i always felt

      convinced i could handle.

      today, truth does not stare at me

      in black and white. at times

      i find myself “seeking and searching with all my

      heart,” and then taking a step and simply asking

      God

      to show me clearly if it is wrong.

      i believe His love promises to do that.

      a mind-boggling experience was, discovering,

      suddenly, that all Christians did not have the same

      interpretations of Scripture or life. strong

      Christians!

      with deep faith

      and poised spirits that had been

      mellowed by all kinds of tragedy and

      years.

      at a baptist convention i addressed, i casually

      mentioned over dinner how much i loved the

      theology of e. stanley jones. people

      cleared their throats and coughed and mumbled

      out negatives.

      a long-time devout Christian woman

      told me she thought sins of passion were more

      forgivable than breaking of the sabbath–even

      going out after church on sunday nights for

      refreshments.

      (lots of people in my church flock to restaurants on

      sunday nights.)

      admired Christian writers strongly disagree

      with one another on various issues.

      somehow, i grew up without realizing

      that there is more than one way for married

      partners to be unfaithful to each other. speaking to

      a denominational meeting of my church, a man

      told me how he had been persecuted for changing

      over from the other denomination, charged now as

      a non-evangelical.

      as a young woman, i must internalize for myself

      what i shall

      live and die by.

      i must open myself wide to God and decide

      through all the varying feelings and opinions and

      interpretations what is honestly right and real for

      me, what will be true to my integrity.

      no, life isn’t so simple now.

      it can be complex and sometimes very frightening.

      in my traveling i have met many people…

      Christians… with seemingly impossible

      situations. there are not a lot of easy answers.

      sometimes i cannot even think of one. people call

      for advice. i have no pat answers. i can share what

      is right for me, what the Bible says about various

      things… but i don’t know where people are

      coming from, or all the wounded parts of their

      emotions.

      i cannot make judgments.

      i don’t believe Jesus Christ asks that from

      me. He wants me to listen. to give warmth

      and love. to try and help a person grasp

      God in his/her life and decide, through

      God, what is truth for him or her. to

      understand the power of total commitment.

      but judgment, no.

      i’ve not walked anyone else’s road; i’ve not carried

      others’ crosses.

      i’ve not felt their childhood. i’ve never crawled

      behind their skin where hearts and minds beat.

      only God has.

      only i know me, and only God and i, alone,

      know what place God has in my life… and if

      what i say is honest.

      often people talk of being afraid of God.

      i’m СКАЧАТЬ