The Exceptional Seven Percent. Gregory K. Popcak

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      You scored __ out of a possible 25 points for this section.

      Your mate scored __ out of a possible 25 points for this section.

      As a couple, you scored __ out of a possible 50 points for Exceptional Negotiation.

      The Seventh Secret: Exceptional Gratitude

      In exceptional marriages, every service—no matter how common or simple—is viewed as an active expression of love to be noted and appreciated. Because the level of mutual service is so high (see the Fourth Secret), there are no real expectations about the chores one’s mate has to do to “keep up their end.” Yes, dinner must be cooked, bills must be paid, kids must be picked up, and homes must be cleaned, but, “You didn’t have to do it.” This view is absolutely essential if true gratitude is to flourish. Anything less, and gratitude gives way to expectation (“Why should I thank you, it’s your job to do that!”) or self-righteous scorekeeping (“I did all this for you and you couldn’t even...”).

      Exceptional couples tend to say thank you for “silly” or “common” things for which more conventional couples would never think of voicing appreciation.

      EXCEPTIONAL GRATITUDE QUIZ

      Circle the level of agreement you have with each of the statements below.

      a. I know that my mate appreciates me and all I do.

      b. Every day, I look for opportunities to compliment or thank my mate.

      c. I am good at noticing and complimenting changes my mate makes in his/her appearance.

      d. I am good at noticing and complimenting the things my mate does to maintain our home or to improve it.

      e. I couldn’t imagine a partner better suited to me than my mate.

      You scored __ out of a possible 25 points for this section.

      Your mate scored __ out of a possible 25 points for this section.

      As a couple, you scored __ out of a possible 50 points for Exceptional Gratitude.

      The Eighth Secret: Exceptional Joy

      Part of the Exceptional couple’s strength is their ability to play and be joyful together. They look for new interests to share and work to share in the interests they already have. They are comfortable being silly together. They know which areas of their partner’s life are acceptable teasing material and which are off-limits. They make time to be together, work at being present to each other, and actively seek ways to ease each other’s burdens. Compare this to more conventional couples who used to play together, “but who has time now?” Or other husbands and wives who are forced to develop separate interests and friendships because their spouse frequently greets invitations to certain activities with, “You know I don’t enjoy doing that!”

      EXCEPTIONAL JOY QUIZ

      Circle the level of agreement you have with each of the statements below.

      a. I enjoy spending time with my mate more than with anyone else.

      b. If it came down to a choice, I would rather be doing something I didn’t enjoy with my mate, than something I did enjoy without my mate.

      c. I am comfortable with the way, and the degree to which, my mate and I tease each other.

      d. My mate and I share a lot of laughs and good times.

      e. My mate knows just what to do to uplift me when I am going through a difficult time.

      You scored __ out of a possible 25 points for this section.

      Your mate scored __ out of a possible 25 points for this section.

      As a couple, you scored __ out of a possible 50 points for Exceptional Joy.

      The Ninth Secret: Exceptional Sexuality

      Exceptional couples have developed a truly spiritual, life-giving sexuality. More conventional couples view sex as something they do, another activity—albeit a pleasant one—that they just don’t have the time and energy for very often. But Exceptional couples view sex as something they are. Every quality discussed in this book, СКАЧАТЬ