A Smart Girl's Guide: Friendship Troubles (Revised). Patti Kelley Criswell

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      Remember kindergarten? Back then, friendships were pretty easy. Your

      parents arranged your play dates. If you and your friend had a fight about

      who got the cherry lollipop, an adult stepped in and calmed things down.

      Now you’re older, and a lot’s changed. You’re choosing your own friends

      and trying to solve your own problems. You need more from your

      friends, and they need more from you.

      You’ve learned that a true friendship is a two-way street, and that both

      people have to work to make a relationship a success. You listen to

      your friend when she’s having a bad day, and she does the same for you.

      Neither one of you is “in charge.” You’re equal. You can compromise

      when you need to, and you both know that your opinions matter.

      Every friendship is a little different. You may value one girl for the way

      she makes you laugh when you’re down. You may value another for the

      way she helps you solve problems. Underneath it all, though, the best

      friendships share some very basic things.

      what makes

      a great friend?

      What some girls say:

      “A really good friend has

      to be able to understand

      you and the way you think,

      appreciate you for who you

      are, and always keep your

      secrets. When a friend lies,

      it can ruin a friendship for

      a long time.”

      “A real friend sticks

      up for you in tough

      situations.”

      “A friend should be someone

      you are comfortable with—

      not someone who you are

      afraid will laugh at you.”

      “I like a friend who is nice, truthful,

      and fun to be with. Also creative, so

      we are never bored.”

      “A true friend doesn’t get

      mad at every little thing.”

      “I think a real friend is someone who

      likes you for who you are. My best friend

      is more popular than I am and has a lot

      more friends than I do. She has so many

      other choices, but she picked me because

      she likes me.”

      “Someone who will encourage me.”

      “A friend is dependable and doesn’t

      just say she will be there and not

      show up. It’s a trust thing.”

      What you say

      Think about it. What do you think makes a great friend? On a piece

      of paper, make a list of qualities that a girl should have to be one of

      your good friends. Put a r next to the things you can’t do without.

      Quiz!

      Good friends are good for you. How do your buddies measure up? Picture

      each girl in your mind and ask yourself whether these statements are true

      or not.

      After we’re together, I feel happy and

      good about myself.

      yes no

      When something good happens, she’s the first one

      I want to tell, because I know she’ll be really

      excited for me.

      yes no

      When I’m angry about something and just need

      to talk, she’ll listen.

      yes no

      When I say, “OK, we’ll do it your way,”

      it doesn’t feel like I’m giving in, because chances are that

      the last time we disagreed, she did things my way.

      yes no

      She brings out the best in me.

      yes no

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