A Smart Girl's Guide: Friendship Troubles (Revised). Patti Kelley Criswell

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      left out

      Just when you’ve found a friend you love spending time with, some other

      girl comes along and—wham! Those two start hanging out all the time,

      laughing at things you don’t think are funny and leaving you feeling sick

      inside.

      You’re left out, rejected, abandoned. It’s one of the world’s lousiest

      feelings, but you’re not alone. Most girls feel left out at one

      time or another. Your first impulse may be to blame the third girl

      in the triangle. Don’t. Nobody ever wins the blame game—honestly. It

      always does more harm than good. You may also feel like marching over

      to your friend’s house and saying, “OK, pick. It’s her or me!” But what if

      she doesn’t choose you? Anyway, YUCK. Is this what friendship is really

      about?

      Instead, talk to your friend. Let her know that you are feeling left out.

      She may be able to reassure you with words or by spending more time

      with you.

      You should also ask yourself whether your friend is really shutting you

      out or simply enjoying a new relationship. There’s no official limit on how

      many friends a girl can have. Why act as if there were? There must be a

      good reason your friend likes the new girl. Try to find out what it is. Give

      her a chance. Maybe you can be friends with her, too. Remember that as

      you grow and change, so will your friendships.

      Of course, if your friend is truly ditching you, say, for the “popular”

      crowd, that’s a different story. Try to play it cool. For now, spend time

      with your other friends. Tell yourself that your relationship with your

      good friend is changing—not ending, just changing. Her interest in the

      new group may fade as she gets to know those girls better. She may end

      up missing you and come back.

      If she doesn’t, you’re going to hurt for a while—and sorely. But that time

      will pass, and you can come out of this with your head high, knowing that

      you were true to your friendship even if she wasn’t.