5 Habits to Lead from Your Heart. Johnny Covey

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СКАЧАТЬ href="#fb3_img_img_51946c64-aa6a-52f9-a6bb-c112c46f76e2.jpg" alt=""/> Rejected Made fun of Misunderstood Gossiped about Judged Unhappy Unwanted Unloved Disrespected

      We interpret these feelings to mean that something is wrong with us and that we are alone. What if these experiences weren’t what you thought they were? What if the feelings you felt were telling you something different?

      In summary, the problem is that we have had experiences where we have chosen to use our head to protect ourselves. We think knowing more or doing more will solve the problem, but in reality we need to choose a new experience by leading from our heart.

      The Core Solution

       Expressing Your Heart

       “When we forget how to love and play, we start to fret, fight and go to war. When we forget to listen to our conscience, we risk doing the unconscionable.”

      ~Ken Shelton

      As children, we love to play games because games give us a healthy outlet for our competitive drive and a chance to test ourselves against competitors or against some standard of performance. As adults, we play less and work more to solve problems. But remember, the root problems we face are caused by what we choose to experience—and they can’t be solved by working harder and longer. We need to play the game a different way, a better way.

       Play the Game a New Way—Your Way

      I offer you a chance to play the game of life in a way that is far more challenging and rewarding—the game of your life, your way. You were born to play this game. You have yearned to play it well, but perhaps not learned how to play it in healthy ways.

      Even though I am now an author, I actually received my college degree in recreation. I studied the science of games. I like this definition of what a game is:

      “A game is a problem-solving activity, approached with a playful attitude” (Jesse Schell: game designer, author, professor at Carnegie Mellon).

      In order to play this game, you must first give up the plays in your current playbook that don’t work for you. Yes, they may work for you in one area, but they are not really working for you. You might not even know it, but you will be able to choose only what works. This will be hard at first, but over time you will see that winning this game of life is the real win you are looking for.

      During this game, with the right plays, you will feel worthy and accepted. And there can be more than one winner! This is the abundant mentality— all who play with a winning strategy can walk away a worthy and accepted winner. It’s not like in second grade when the teacher told you that everyone is a winner just because no one is supposed to lose.

      The feeling of being worthy is what it feels like to look into a child’s eyes. You know that children are worthy regardless of what they do or do not do. Their inherent worth is not based on doing, but simply their being.

       Do you remember feeling this worthy?

       Christine: I don’t. But I assume my parents felt the same way about me that I feel about my children. I had a great childhood. I guess I can remember feeling worthy in Mrs. Bizzell’s kindergarten classroom. She didn’t have favorites, rewarded hard work and respect and was kind to everyone.

      The feeling of being accepted is what you feel when children hand you their drawing. You are not sure what it is, but you are proud of them. You know that this was their best effort—and that is enough. It’s all you need and all they need. You accept them for being them.

       Do you remember feeling this accepted?

       Christine: I remember my softball coach in third grade. I can’t even remember her name. But she coached me in kindness and promoted our team connection. She wouldn’t let us ostracize or hurt each other. She accepted us all and taught us to accept each other.

      We may have lost these feelings of inherent self-worth for ourselves. We can see worth in others, especially in children, but to regain these feelings of self-worth we may need to undo what we have done (or what others have done to us) and restore ourselves to who we truly are. The only way to restore ourselves in this way is to listen to our conscience. All the plays that I share with you are designed to show you what you must do to listen to your conscience.

      Each of us has different experiences and make different choices about those experiences. It is neither possible nor prudent to instruct you every step of the way to do what you must do to restore yourself. However, you can know what to do because you have been there every step of the way. You are perfectly equipped to retrace your steps and restore the parts of you that have been left behind.

       Plays and Practices

      We apply the 5 habits through plays—specific timely practices based on timeless principles that enable you to personally experience the habit.

      In sports, a game is made up of many plays that are used to score more points than the opponent. A playbook is a plan designed by a coach to produce a result, a win. Plays show you how to move around on the court, going from one spot to the next, both on offense and defense, so that you can execute effectively and win the game.

      For example, in the sport of basketball, many coaches use a whiteboard to sketch X’s and O’s, showing their players how to move on the court. I sketch plays on the court of the head-to-heart framework to help you recognize where you are on the court and how to use the whole court to your advantage. The plays help you achieve both public and private victories.

      In basketball, there are five fundamentals: dribble, pass, shoot, rebound and defend. During the game, all ten players on the court are applying these fundamentals to win the game. What makes the game exciting is how they execute these basic skills against their competition.

      If you are on offense trying to score, you dribble and either pass or shoot. If you don’t have the ball, you maneuver into position so someone will pass the ball to you, or you set a screen so someone else can receive a pass or shoot. On defense, you guard someone to prevent them from scoring, or you rebound the ball to prevent opponents from having a second chance to score.

      In life, when we are on offense, we are playing to progress by being courageous. When we are on defense, we are protecting ourselves. Likewise, the head-to-heart plays deal with being courageous on offense and changing on defense. When we play from our heart, we are open to courage and change. When we play from our head, we inhibit courage and halt positive change.

      Throughout this book I have drawn out СКАЧАТЬ