THE COMPLETE WORKS OF ÉMILE ZOLA. Эмиль Золя

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СКАЧАТЬ in a drawingroom, in the full blaze of many candles, in the midst of a fashionable crowd, was insupportable to him.

      Then he heard a voice — the vanished voice of Madame de Rionne — saying to him inwardly: “Everywhere she goes, you must go; you must shield her from the world.” And he accepted Monsieur Tellier’s invitation, in fear and trembling. In the evening he spent over an hour in his room before his glass at his toilet.

      The poor young man had not a spark of vanity in him, but he was afraid of looking ridiculous before Jeanne. He managed to dress himself in as quiet a fashion as possible, so as not to attract any one’s attention to himself. Then he went down and slipped into the drawingroom.

      On entering Daniel experienced that feeling of suffocation and blindness which a swimmer feels when he plunges his head under water: the lights had advanced before his eyes, the sound of the guests’ voices buzzed in his ears, and he could hardly breathe. For one moment he stood motionless, overwhelmed, fighting against the uncomfortable feeling which oppressed him.

      No one had noticed him when he came in. Little by little the weight which crushed him diminished, and he breathed freely again. He could observe the scene he had before him quite clearly — the large drawingroom in white and gold, resplendent with the light of many candles; the gilt bronzes brightly shining, and the walls covered with mirrors, giving out reflections which made the eyes blink.

      A close tepid atmosphere gradually pervaded the room from the odour of bouquets mixed with the perfume from bare shoulders.

      Daniel noticed that the women sat together at one end of the room, whilst the men were huddled together near the windows and doors. All these people were thus disseminated in small groups — the black coats standing, the silk skirts displayed on the sofas and armchairs. Nothing could be heard but a slight murmur of voices, in which every now and then was mingled a little laughter.

      A sort of instinctive respect had taken possession of Daniel. He looked at those serious men and those elegant youths, and he was ready honestly to admire them. Never had he been at such a gathering before. It all came upon him as a surprise; he felt as if he were suddenly transported to a world of light, where everything must be good and beautiful. The rows of armchairs where the ladies, with smiling faces, showed their bare necks and arms covered in jewellery, fascinated him particularly. And then in the midst of them all he perceived Jeanne, proud, triumphant, surrounded by admirers — worshippers rather — and there was the sacred place for him whence every glory radiated.

      He wanted to enjoy the conversation of these superior beings, and so he discreetly drew near one group, in which Monsieur Tellier seemed to be discussing some grave matter. This is what he heard:

      “I have had a rather bad cold since yesterday,” solemnly said the deputy.

      “You must nurse it,” rejoined an old gentleman.

      “Bah! it will go away as it came....”

      Daniel did not listen to more, and he regretted having forgotten what he had known for a fortnight, that Monsieur Tellier was a conceited idiot. He went a little further and found himself behind a young man and a young woman.

      The young woman, seated in a languid way, was bending slightly forward, with a smile on her lips, and seemed to be listening to the music of angels, to be living far from the earth, in an ideal world. The young man, resting his arms lightly on the back of the armchair, looked like a cherubim clothed in black.

      Daniel thought that his ear would catch one of those love chats which one reads of in poetry.

      “What abominable weather we have had today,” quietly murmured the young man.

      “Oh, do not speak of it,” answered the young woman with emotion; “the rain makes me depressed, and I must be looking very plain tonight.”

      “You are adorably lovely!”

      “Have you noticed that when it rains the hair comes out of curl?”

      “Certainly.”

      “I was obliged to have my head dressed three times, and see how straight it is now.”

      “In such a case I myself use gum mixed with powder.”

      “Really!... I am much obliged for the recipe.”

      Daniel thought he must have come across a hairdresser, and he hurried off so as not to intrude on such tender, confidential talk.

      Then he drew near two tall young men who were conversing apart. He thought that these, having no woman to amuse, must be talking sensibly like men. As a matter of fact they were talking like grooms. Daniel only partly understood their language. Drawing - room jargon was a new tongue to him, and at first he thought they must be foreigners. Then he recognised a few French words, and he guessed they were talking of women and horses, without very well knowing which expressions they were applying to the women and which to the horses, for they spoke of them both with the same affection and the same vulgarity.

      Then Daniel looked boldly round the room. He began to understand that he had been the dupe of outward form. He now saw all the platitudes and frivolous speeches he had heard, in their clear, naked aspect, like those rags of dialogue which drag so miserably in pantomimes, in the midst of the splendid scenery. He grasped at once that there was nothing before him but the light playing on the jewels and costly dresses. These heads, young and old, were empty, and had become empty from politeness and would-be gentility. All these men were comedians in whom one could neither distinguish heart nor brain; all these women were so many dolls exposing their shoulders, set on chairs like porcelain statuettes set on mantel boards. And Daniel experienced an intense pride, for at this moment he was proud even of his awkwardness and his ignorance of the world. He no longer feared being seen. Holding his head erect he marched into the centre of the room. Unpolished as he was, he considered himself so superior to these people that their laughter had no effect on him. He had, as it were, a reawakening of pride, and he quietly took up again the place that was his by right, in the full blaze of light

      He had not yet dared to approach the group in the midst of which Jeanne was enthroned as a queen. Now he marched straight up to this group, and, keeping at the back of the others, waited for a favourable moment to pass to the front row.

      Jeanne seemed absent-minded. She scarcely attended to the men around who were paying her court. She knew by heart all their set phrases, and their frivolity wearied her tonight. She was nervously pulling out the petals of a rose; her bare shoulders had an imperceptible movement of contempt. Daniel was ill at ease when he saw his dear girl so décolleté, and he felt a kind of strange warmth coursing from his heart all through his veins.

      He found the young girl most deliciously beautiful. Never had he had such a good view of her. She was very much like her mother, and he remembered the pale, thin face of Madame de Rionne reclining on the pillow.

      In this case the cheeks were rosy, the eyes were bright with the quick fire of life, and the light breath of the mouth delicately opened the lips.

      In front of Jeanne there was a young man who every now and then bent over her, partly hiding her from view. Daniel was irritated with this young man, whose face he could not see; he felt, in fact, that he hated him. Why did this unknown man approach the young girl so closely? What did he want of her? By what right did he put himself between her and him? Then the young man turned round and Daniel recognised Lorin, who, on his side, having observed Daniel, advanced with outstretched hand and a smile on his lips.

      Lorin was an СКАЧАТЬ