Jog on Journal: A Practical Guide to Getting Up and Running. Bella Mackie

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      In five years of running, I’ve stopped having the panic attacks which paralysed me. I’ve been able to go to places that my anxious brain would’ve prevented me from visiting. I’ve taken on challenges that I would’ve hidden away, and I’ve graduated from a life half lived to one that feels full and exciting – not tinged with fear and endless panic. I still have moments of anxiety and low mood – after all, running is not a cure-all (nothing is) – but I’m mostly able to dig myself out of these moments now, and for that, I credit my daily jogs. I can draw a direct line from that first short run I took to where I am now, and I’m far from the only person to feel this way. As the legendary runner and author George Sheehan once said: ‘The obsession with running is really an obsession with the potential for more and more life.’[1]

      The response to Jog On was bigger and more emotional than I could ever have dreamed. I wrote it honestly and openly, hoping that it might help a few people and make my family understand my brain a bit better. But it ended up being a best-seller, and I’ve had thousands of messages from people who read it, either telling me about their own battles with mental health or asking for tips about how to get into running. It made me realise that one person being really honest about their mental health can produce a knock-on effect. Being blunt about my weirdest thoughts and scariest moments seemed to help other people open up and talk about theirs. It’s a hard thing to do – especially when you feel as though other people will judge you or recoil. But it’s really the only way to shrug off the long-held stigma surrounding mental illness and – more importantly – it’s the only way to help yourself. It’s nice being alive at a time in history when we’re dismantling the traditional stereotypes about mental health, but it’s even nicer being able to feel like you can tell an employer, a loved one or a doctor about what you’re going through without fear of mockery or anger.

      Despite knowing how important it is to open up to others when we’re feeling low or worried, sometimes it’s still hard to actually do it. I told parts of my story to different people for years – shading in bits and holding back certain details depending on what I felt the other person could handle. And sometimes you just want to have a place to talk about this stuff without having to manage another person’s expectations. So this journal will be an honest place to do that. A space to learn a bit more about mental health, somewhere to start or further your running journey, a place to reassess what you want from running and, most importantly, a home for all the thoughts you want to get out.

      There’s a good reason that people have kept diaries for centuries. Though he was far from the first, Samuel Pepys is probably the most well-known diarist.[2] He jotted his thoughts down for ten years between 1660 and 1669 and wrote over a million words – many about his mistresses. (Maybe it assuaged a guilty conscience. If it did, he hid it well.) Cognitive behavioural therapy also encourages the subject to write down their thoughts – a form of brain homework if you like. More on that later.