Josephine Cox 3-Book Collection 2: The Loner, Born Bad, Three Letters. Josephine Cox

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      A week later to the day, Lucy was laid to rest in the small churchyard down the lane.

      Packed to the doors, spilling across the graveyard and filling the narrow lane, the mourners came from across the county; farmers, neighbours, townsfolk and a smattering of those who lived further afield but knew of the tragedy and wanted to offer their condolences.

      After the burial, when no one remained but Frank and Dave, with Maggie standing back, her face swollen from crying, the two men stood in silence at the graveside. ‘Why?’ Frank was sobbing. ‘Why my Lucy? What evil thing did I ever do, for her to be taken from me like that?’

      In his own grief, Dave comforted him; he told him it was not his fault, that Seamus was the evil one, but that Lucy would not rest in peace, if her daddy continued to blame himself.

      The profound words he spoke to Frank seemed to calm that good man, who had not slept nor eaten properly since the night he had lost his beloved daughter.

      Quietly, Frank put his hand on Dave’s shoulder. ‘If it isn’t my fault, then neither is it yours.’ Head bowed, he walked away.

      ‘He’s right.’ Maggie stepped forward. ‘What happened was because of one man, so riddled with hatred and evil, that no one could have known the outcome.’

      Dave slowly shook his head. ‘I will always wonder if there was something else I could have done to prevent what happened.’ Like Frank, he looked for the blame in himself. Had his secret doubts in some way influenced Fate? For here he was – free. A terrible sob rose in his throat, for Lucy, for his mother – for the tragic waste of it all.

      Maggie walked back home with him. ‘Frank’s talking about moving away – says he can’t bear to stay here, now she’s gone.’

      Dave was surprised. ‘But Lucy was so happy here,’ he said huskily, wiping his eyes. ‘And there are so many memories to help him through.’

      ‘And what about you?’ she asked. ‘What will you do?’

      Dave had given it no thought; the only task he had been concentrating on was seeing Lucy to her last rest. But Maggie had focused his mind. ‘I don’t know,’ he answered sombrely. ‘I think I can understand why Frank wants to move away, because if either of us were to stay, how could we take a single step and not be seeing her everywhere we look?’ His voice broke. ‘It’s so cruel, Maggie. She was so young and vibrant, and so excited about our future together.’

      He looked her in the eye. ‘When it happened with my mother, I felt the same as I do now. Even though I loved my grandad, I couldn’t go back. Mam was there, d’you see? And yet she wasn’t there.’

      Maggie understood his pain. ‘If you really feel like that, then I think you should leave this place. You’re still a young man, with a life before you. We must none of us make our life amongst the dead.’

      She opened her heart to him. ‘When I lost my darling Ted, I carried on living with him, in my mind and my heart, and in everything I did or planned to do. I know now, that I was wrong. I will always remember him, and I will always love him. But he’s gone and I’m still here, and he would want me to have a life of my own.’ She smiled fondly. ‘If it hadn’t been for Frank offering me the cottage and work in his house, I think I would have just withered away.’

      Catching Dave by the arm, she slowed him to a stop, her tearful eyes uplifted to his. ‘Do you understand what I’m trying to say?’

      Dave did, and he told her so. ‘But if Frank leaves here, what will you do?’ he asked worriedly. ‘Where will you go?’

      Maggie’s smile was radiant. ‘I’ll go with him,’ she answered. ‘He’s asked me to marry him, and I said yes. Oh, it isn’t the same kind of love I felt for Ted … no one can ever fill that place in my heart. But it’s a kind of love all the same, quiet and good, and it gives me a feeling of belonging.’

      She paused, before adding knowingly, ‘I suspect it’s the same kind of love you felt for Lucy, while she felt for you the same way I felt for my Ted. You see, Dave, there are many levels of love, and it doesn’t make the loving any more or less … just different.’

      They were at the gates now, and unable to hold the grief in any longer, Dave leaned against the gate-post, put his hands over his face and sobbed until he thought his heart would break. ‘I wanted so much to love her back the way she loved me,’ he said brokenly, ‘but I couldn’t, and I didn’t know why. But I did love her, so much … I needed to protect her and be with her. I would have given my life for her, the way she gave her life for me.’

      ‘She always knew that,’ Maggie promised. ‘And she was content.’

      He looked up at this kind, wise woman and in his agony he asked, ‘Why could I not love her back, the same way she loved me?’

      Maggie knew; she had known for some time. ‘Because you had already given that deeper part of your heart to another. Someone you knew as well as you know yourself,’ she went on. ‘Someone who helped you through the worst time of your childhood.’

      She saw the truth beginning to dawn in his face. ‘Yes – Judy.’ She echoed his thoughts. ‘She’s the one I’m talking about. She’s the one who came to your mind just now. I knew, as soon as you spoke her name, from the light in your eyes, the warmth in your voice. Without you ever realising, and long before you ever met dear Lucy, it was Judy who crept deep into your heart and soul.’

      While Dave was shaking his head, still unable to grasp the truth of what she was saying, Maggie whispered in his ear, ‘Go to her now, love,’ she urged. ‘Go back home to your Judy. She’ll know how to bring you through this painful time.’

      Before he could answer, to tell her that he wasn’t ready, that he had so much grieving to do before he could even consider her suggestion, Maggie kissed him tenderly on the face. ‘It’s where you belong,’ she told him. ‘Live, Dave – grasp your life and live it! Lucy would have wanted it so – and you know in your heart that is true.’

      With the tip of her thumb she wiped away his tears, and went to where Frank was waiting for her.

      One last, encouraging glance back, and she was gone.

PART FIVE