Josephine Cox 3-Book Collection 2: The Loner, Born Bad, Three Letters. Josephine Cox

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СКАЧАТЬ was bundling him into the passageway; though as yet neither of them had seen Lenny standing there against the wall in the shadow of the hallstand. ‘It’s not Lenny you’re after at all, is it, eh? You’ve seen how he’s making good, and you want a piece of it.’ She laughed in his face.‘Once he knows about you, he’ll be so disgusted he won’t even want to shake your hand, never mind work with you!’ She gave him a mighty shove. ‘It were me as brought him up, wiped his backside and washed his smelly socks, and it’s me who’ll have first call on whatever fortune he makes. So bugger off, and don’t come back, or—’

      She was shocked to her roots when Lenny stepped out. ‘My God, Len, it’s you. Christ – you gave me a fright. I didn’t see you there …’ Flustered, she took the man by the arm, and smiled her best. ‘This is Stuart Fitzwilliam, an old friend of me and your dad,’ she told Lenny. ‘He’s just leaving. I’ll see him out … you go inside, son.’

      His face set sternly, Lenny blocked her way. ‘Who is he, Mam?’ His voice was ice-cold. ‘What is he to me?’

      ‘Nobody! Nothing!’ She had never seen Lenny look at her like that before, and she was shaken. ‘Like I said, he’s just a friend.’

      Lenny addressed himself to the man. ‘Who are you?’

      ‘I think you know.’ There was a certain satisfaction in the man’s voice. ‘I’m your father. I’ve come to take you away from her, back with me. You don’t belong here, in this squalid dump. You never did.’

      Lenny took stock of him, this respectable-looking, smartly dressed man with the sad eyes, and her, Patsy, beside him, bold as brass, her false smile hiding a multitude of sins. ‘Is that right?’ he asked of her. ‘Is this man really my father?’

      ‘No!’ She was screaming now. ‘Don’t listen to him. Whatever he tells you, it’s a lie – a downright lie!’

      The man’s voice cut in. ‘We had an affair, and you were the outcome. Like Patsy, I was married, and though I’ve always regretted it, there was no place for you in my life. Since the day you were born, Patsy and Ron both agreed to keep you, as long as I paid. And my God, have I paid! I’vepaid through the nose to keep you in house and home, and more besides. Bled me dry they have, all these years. A few meaningless afternoons of sex with her, and I’ve been made to pay a million times over. But now, it’s finished. You are my son, and I want you with me.’

      He smiled like the cat who had the cream. ‘We’ll do all right, son, you and me together.’

      When he made to lay his hand on Lenny’s shoulder, the young man grabbed him by the wrist and held him off. For a long, revealing moment, he stared at the man, unable or unwilling to believe what he had just been told. And yet, deep down, he knew – and it was a blessed relief.

      When he spoke, it was in a calm, collected manner. ‘All my life I’ve never felt that I belonged. Somehow, I knew I was not a part of this family. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been rejected, unloved and punished, for something that was not of my doing. While you played Happy Families, I was nothing, a nobody. Alone, and made to feel guilty for being alive.’

      His eyes hardened like bright marbles. ‘You have no idea how it’s been … no idea.’

      Stuart Fitzwilliam stepped forward, a look of alarm on his face. ‘But that’s all over now, son. I’ve come to claim you. I’ve always wanted you, but it was difficult. You have to believe me …’

      Lenny’s confident smile belied the hurt he was feeling. ‘All those years, and you never once acknowledged me. And now, it makes no difference whether you want me or you don’t.’

      Looking from one to the other, he informed them in a quietly controlled voice, ‘It’s too late, because I don’t want you – any of you.’

      His accusing gaze lingered on the woman he had always believed was his mother, but who had never loved him in that way. ‘I came home tonight to tell you that I would be moving out in a week or so,’ he said. ‘But after what I’ve heard here this night, it’s best if I go now.’

      He spoke with pride. ‘At long last I’m free of you – of all of you. From now on, there’s no need for me to feel guilty or unwanted. I can be my own man.’

      His voice hardened. ‘As long as I live, I never want to see or hear from you again.’

      ‘You ungrateful little toe-rag!’ Patsy hit out, but when he caught her by the arm, she began to sob. ‘You owe me for taking care of you all these years. You owe me!’

      ‘I owe you nothing!’ He brushed by them. ‘Now get out of my way.’ He ran up the stairs and into the room which he shared with his younger brother – half-brother, he reminded himself. He closed the door and sat on the edge of thebed, shaking his head and trying to take it all in. ‘She’s right,’ he muttered. ‘I am a bastard. I belong to nobody.’

      And then he remembered Judy, and Annie too. ‘Thank You, Lord,’ he murmured, ‘for the kind and honest people You brought into my life.’

      Quickly now, he packed a bag and ran down the stairs; the man gone, the woman pleading for him to stay. He didn’t hear; he wanted no more of it. So, without a word or backward glance, he fled from that place.

      This house, these people, were his past. The future was out there, and he meant to grasp it with both hands.

PART FOUR

      Bedfordshire, 1962

The Dark Horse

Chapter Sixteen

      THE LATE MONTHS of December 1961 had been unusually hard in Bedfordshire, with days and nights of snowfall. Some drifts were so high they brought traffic to a standstill and made everyday life very difficult.

      Winter had arrived with a vengeance, catching everyone unawares. People in isolated places were trapped, animals were lost in the far fields, pipes were frozen and schools had to close their doors to the children. And when the thaw came, it was with the same ferocity. The ice melted and the waters ran headlong down the banks and valleys and into the streets. Shops were flooded and emergency services were tried to the limit.

      It had been a costly time, but now they were into the month of January, and chaos was replaced with normality. There were still cold, breezy days, but with the odd flicker of bright sunshine.

      And the harsh months of 1961 already seemed a distant memory.

      This particular Saturday afternoon was pleasantly mild, and having time to spare, Lucy strolled into the stable to see if Dave was there. She loved chatting to him. Humming her favourite Buddy Holly song, ‘Listen To Me’, she was feeling on top of the world, but her good mood came to a halt, along with the song, when she saw the expression on his face. Dave was checking the hooves of her father’s best mare, Molly. ‘I don’t like the look of this,’ he told her grimly. ‘I saw her limping a few days ago when Seamus was riding her back from the fields.’

      ‘Did you СКАЧАТЬ