Trust Works: Four Keys to Building Lasting Relationships. Ken Blanchard

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СКАЧАТЬ that Whiskers didn’t yet trust him, Woof sought out Presley the parrot.

      “For weeks now I’ve been doing my best to show the cat that I’m Able to help her,” Woof said.

      “Yes, so I’ve heard,” said Presley. “Rumor has it you’ve done well, so why the long face?”

      Hanging his head, Woof said, “Whiskers still doesn’t trust me. She says there are ‘other issues.’”

      The parrot nodded thoughtfully. “Don’t be so discouraged, Woof,” he said. “You’re not going to win Whiskers’s trust—and vice versa—in the blink of an eye. Building trust takes time.”

      “But surely there’s more I can do to show Whiskers I’m trustworthy,” said the dog.

      “There certainly is,” said the parrot. “Now that you’ve demonstrated you are Able, you must show Whiskers you are Believable.”

      “How do I do that?” Woof asked.

      “You must act with integrity,” said the parrot. “That means that if Whiskers tells you something in confidence, you’ll keep it to yourself and not bark it all over town.”

      Woof was taken aback. Come to think of it, he had barked about a few of the cat’s confidences over the years.

      “Furthermore,” said the parrot, “when you do something wrong, you must admit to it and apologize for it.”

      “I can do that,” said Woof.

      “But if you want to be Believable, the most important thing is to stay honest. That means no exaggerating—or minimizing—the truth.”

      Woof nodded, realizing that he had been known to stretch the truth a bit.

      Building trust takes time.

      “Being honest means that if you give Whiskers your word, you have to follow through on it so she knows that the words coming from your mouth will match your behavior.”

      “Is there anything else I need to know about being Believable?” the dog asked.

      “Actually, there are quite a few things you need to know,” the parrot said. “When you’re faced with a tough decision, be fair in your choices. Be sincere in word and deed. Avoid being judgmental. Show respect for others.”

      “It sounds like being Believable is a character issue,” Woof said.

      “That’s right,” said the parrot. “Being Believable isn’t a simple trick you can learn, like fetching a stick. It requires looking inside at your motives.”

      So for the next several weeks Woof did some soul-searching. He realized that Whiskers would come to trust him only when she saw what a good dog he was, deep down. As he was searching his heart, he remembered the day he had chased Whiskers up the tree. At the time he claimed it was due to overexcitement, but now that he was being honest with himself, he admitted he’d gotten a perverse pleasure in seeing the cat be so afraid.

      It was time to make amends.

      When you act with integrity, you are BELIEVABLE, which builds trust.

      Below are some statements about your believability. Thinking about the same role you chose to analyze for the ABLE area of trust, how often do you behave in each of the listed ways? Circle one response that best describes your behavior.

H—Hardly ever S—Sometimes O—Often V—Very often A—Always

1. Keep confidences	H S O V A
2. Admit when I am wrong	H S O V A
3. Am honest	H S O V A
4. Avoid talking behind people’s backs	H S O V A
5. Am sincere	H S O V A
6. Am nonjudgmental	H S O V A
7. Show respect for others	H S O V A

      Just about the time the parrot was telling the dog how to be Believable, Kylie approached her mom, who was working at her desk.

      “Mom, you keep saying you’re going to get Billy some swimming lessons. But you haven’t, and I don’t think you’re ever going to do it.”

      Mrs. Berryhill opened her mouth to begin an excuse, but when she saw the look in Kylie’s eyes, she realized she was losing her daughter’s trust. It was clear her daughter didn’t see her as Believable.

      “I’m sorry, honey,” she said. “You’re right. I haven’t set up his swimming lessons yet. Let’s go to the computer. You can help me find out where they’re giving lessons in the neighborhood so I can sign Billy up.”

      “Yay!” said Kylie. “I can’t wait for him to be able to play with me in the pool.”

      Within a few minutes, they had found a school and enrolled Billy in a class.

      The next day Woof found Whiskers stretched out on the carpet, warming her silky fur in the sunshine pouring through the window.

      “Whiskers,” he said, “I would like to apologize to you.”

      She opened her eyes ever so slightly. “What have you done now?” she asked.

      “Months ago I chased you up the big oak tree in the front yard,” said the dog. “Not only was that disrespectful, but I frightened you and that was wrong. I sincerely apologize and promise you I won’t do that again.”

      Whiskers lay back and closed her eyes again. “Apology accepted,” she said. “Now let me sleep.”

      Harriet, who had been eavesdropping on their conversation and could hardly believe her ears, stopped running on her wheel. Could it be that Woof and Whiskers were finally learning to trust each other?

      Not only did Woof apologize, but over the next few weeks, he demonstrated that he was Believable to Whiskers in many other ways. For example, when Harriet and Wiggles were complaining about the way the cat rubbed Mrs. Berryhill’s leg and got all of her attention, the dog refused to chime in.

      “Whiskers is conceited and self-centered,” they said. “Don’t you agree, Woof?”

      To this Woof responded, “She is my friend. If you two have issues with Whiskers, you really should discuss them with her.”

      Word of Woof’s gallant response got back to Whiskers and to her great surprise, she was touched.

      On a windy afternoon when Woof was feeling frisky, he succumbed to his old ways and bounded toward Whiskers at full speed. He didn’t do it on purpose; it was simply the force of deeply ingrained habit. Just in time he remembered his promise not to chase her. He stopped dead in his tracks, wagged his tail in a friendly, nonthreatening way, and waited politely for her СКАЧАТЬ