Trust Works: Four Keys to Building Lasting Relationships. Ken Blanchard

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      “No, Kylie,” said Mrs. Berryhill. “I know you mean well, but I can’t really trust our little toddler playing with you in the water until he is Able to swim.”

      “When’s that going to be?” asked Kylie.

      “We’ll get him into a swimming class soon,” said her mom.

      Kylie frowned. “You said that last week,” she said under her breath.

      As they talked, none of the humans noticed the cat, who was walking along the fence searching for an exit. Woof saw this as a perfect opportunity to win Whiskers’s trust by showing her that he was Able to help her solve problems. He approached the cat, keeping a respectful distance.

      “Whiskers,” he said, “I noticed that you have been trying to find a way through the backyard fence for a long time.”

      “Yes,” said the cat. “Unless I want to walk all the way around the house and out the front yard, I have to climb the backyard fence and jump over.”

      “I am going to make it easier for you to come and go,” said Woof.

      The cat looked at the dog, blinked, and then opened her mouth wide in a big yawn.

      “Uh-huh. Right. Sure you will,” she said. She had heard Woof boast like this before.

      “I can tell you don’t have confidence in me,” said the dog.

      “You’re right,” said Whiskers. “I don’t.”

      “That’s okay,” said Woof. “I’m going to do this whether you think I’m Able or not.”

      And help her he did. Later that day he went out to the fence and began digging. Soon there was a perfect little cat-sized hole for the cat to crawl through. When he finished the hole to his satisfaction, Woof searched out Whiskers, who was taking her afternoon nap.

      “Excuse me. I hate to wake you, but I think you’ll be excited to see the new exit I made for you under the backyard fence,” said Woof.

      The cat lifted her head, looked across the yard, and said, “Well, what do you know, you dug a hole. Good for you.” Then she promptly went back to sleep.

      But Woof was not about to give up so easily. He might have been a dog, but even he knew that anyone can do something once and not necessarily be competent. He would have to impress her again.

      “Excuse me,” he said to the cat. “I hate to wake you once more, but I get the feeling you’re not terribly impressed.”

      “Bingo,” said Whiskers. “If you want to impress me, bring me some catnip.”

      The next day Woof searched the surrounding property and found a patch of fresh catnip growing in a sunny spot among some rocks. He gathered a leafy bunch in his mouth and dropped it at Whiskers’s feet.

      “Very nice,” said the cat, sniffing the catnip with curiosity.

      “So now are you impressed with my ability?” Woof asked hopefully.

      “Not yet,” replied the cat. “After all, it could be beginner’s luck. If you really want to impress me with your competence, bring me a fish.”

      “I know I haven’t been very helpful to you in the past,” said the dog, “and it’s going to take a while before you trust my skills. Getting you a fish won’t be easy, but I’m certainly going to give it my best effort.”

      On Monday when Mr. and Mrs. Berryhill got home from their busy days, they sat down together over a couple of iced teas.

      “How was your day at the office?” Mr. Berryhill asked his wife.

      “Busy. I was nearly late picking up the kids from day care,” she replied. “How did it go today with your boss?”

      “I did a lot of thinking about my situation over the weekend,” Mr. Berryhill said as he stirred his tea. “I decided that no matter how difficult it was, I was determined to get an appointment to see him today.”

      “Did you have any luck?” Mrs. Berryhill asked.

      “I sure did—right after lunch,” he replied.

      “How’d that go?” she asked.

      “My mother always said when you’re having a challenging conversation with someone, it’s always best to make a lot of ‘I’ statements rather than ‘you’ statements, because nobody can argue with your feelings. So I told him, ‘I want to thank you for your feedback last week. I also want to apologize for letting you down. I realized I’m taking on some new responsibilities that are stretching my skills. I know how busy you are, so is there anyone you can recommend in the company who could mentor me for a while? I’m excited about the opportunity and want to be Able to develop the skills required to be excellent at my job.’”

      “Wow,” said Mrs. Berryhill, “I’m impressed. You were really vulnerable. How did he respond?”

      “I was amazed,” said Mr. Berryhill. “He thanked me for my honesty and suggested two people who might be able to help. He got right on the phone and left both of them messages. He suggested we talk in a couple of weeks to check my progress. He said he trusted that the next couple of weeks would be good learning opportunities for me.”

      “That’s terrific,” said Mrs. Berryhill.

      Mr. Berryhill smiled at his wife. “Your digging for what was bothering me really helped me think it through. Thanks.”

      It took a week, but after a steep learning curve and a great deal of effort, the dog snatched a small fish from a nearby pond and plopped it at the cat’s feet.

      “This smells delicious,” said Whiskers, poking her nose toward the fish. “I must say, I’m beginning to be impressed.”

      But Woof didn’t stop there. He surprised her the following day with a rubber ducky he’d plucked from the swimming pool. Later that week he brought her a mouse toy he found near the trash cans.

      Finally, Whiskers said, “Thank you. I do appreciate the passageway in the fence and all the gifts you’ve been bringing me.”

      Woof was pleased and very hopeful. “Does this mean you finally think I’m Able to help you?”

      “I suppose it does,” said the cat.

      “Now will you trust me?” asked the dog.

      “Trust you? No. It’s all well and good that you can dig holes and hunt for cat treasures. But just because you’re able to do these things doesn’t mean I can trust you. There are other issues.”

      “Other issues? Like what?” asked Woof.

      The cat sighed and shook her sleek little head. “I don’t have time to get into that. Look, cats and dogs just don’t get along. It’s common knowledge.”

      With that, she put her tail in the air and walked away, making clear that the conversation was over.

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