Дживс, вы – гений! / Thank you, Jeeves!. Пелам Гренвилл Вудхаус

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СКАЧАТЬ Lady Chuffnell.”

      I moaned.

      “On witnessing it, her ladyship uttered a sharp cry and struck Master Dwight with considerable force on the right ear.”

      “Upon which, of course—?”

      “Precisely, sir. Mr Stoker kicked Master Seabury.”

      “He got him, Jeeves!”

      “Yes, sir. Master Seabury was rising at the moment, and was well adapted for the receipt of such an attack. Her ladyship called to Sir Roderick for support, and high words[58] ensued. Then Mr Stoker informed Sir Roderick that if he supposed that he, Mr Stoker, intended to purchase Chuffnell Hall after what had occurred, he, Sir Roderick, was in grave error.”

      I buried the head in the hands.

      “His lordship urged Mr Stoker to disclaim these words. It was his lordship’s view that Mr Stoker, having given his promise to purchase Chuffnell Hall, could not, as an honourable man, recede from this obligation. Mr Stoker replied that he did not care what he had promised or what he had not promised. After that, his lordship, I regret to say, became unguarded in his speech.”

      I moaned again.

      “Then Mr Stoker returned to the yacht with Miss Stoker and Master Dwight. Sir Roderick has gone to the local inn. Lady Chuffnell is with Master Seabury in his bedroom. His lordship, I believe, is taking the dog for a run in the west park.”

      “When all this happened, had Chuffy told Stoker he wanted to marry Miss Stoker?”

      “No, sir.”

      “Well, I don’t see how he can very well do it now.”

      “I think the announcement would not be cordially received, sir. And I chanced to be an auditor of a conversation between Mr and Miss Stoker. It was the gentleman’s intention to keep Miss Stoker on board, not permitting her to go ashore.”

      “But you said he didn’t know anything about the engagement.”

      “Mr Stoker’s motive is not to prevent her encountering his lordship, but to obviate any chance of her meeting you, sir. The fact that you embraced the young lady has convinced him that her affection for you has persisted since your parting in New York.”

      “You’re sure you really heard all this?”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “You were talking with Chuffy, right?”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “And he heard all that, too?”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “About me kissing Miss Stoker?”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “What did he say?”

      “He mentioned something about giving you a good lesson, sir.”

      “Jeeves,” I said, “advise me, Jeeves.”

      “Well, sir, I think it might be judicious if you were to attempt to persuade his lordship that the spirit in which you embraced Miss Stoker was a purely brotherly one.”

      I rose.

      “It may work, Jeeves. It is, at least, worth trying. I shall now leave you, to prepare myself for the ordeal before me with silent meditation.”

      “Your tea will be here in a moment, sir.”

      “No, Jeeves. This is no time for tea. I must concentrate. I dare say I shall see him shortly.”

      “It would not surprise me if you find his lordship awaiting you at your cottage, sir.”

* * *

      He was absolutely correct. No sooner had I crossed the threshold than I saw Chuffy, gazing upon me.

      “Ah!” he said, “Here you are at last!”

      I gave him a sympathetic smile.

      “Here I am, yes. And I have heard all. Jeeves told me. Too bad, too bad. I did not think, old man, when I bestowed a brotherly kiss on Pauline Stoker by way of congratulating her on your engagement, that it would make all this trouble.”

      “Brotherly? Hm!”

      “Essentially brotherly.”

      A struggle was going on in the old boy’s bosom. Then he became calmer.

      “Well, all right,” he said. “But in future if you want sisters, seek them elsewhere.”

      “Just so. Then you still intend to marry this Pauline?

      “Intend to marry her? Of course I intend to marry her. I’d look a silly ass not marrying a girl like that, wouldn’t I?”

      “But Stoker is not going to buy the Hall, is he?”

      “Bertie,” he said, “don’t remind me of a time when I must have been absolutely stupid. I can’t imagine how I ever felt like that. My views have changed. I don’t care now if I haven’t a bean and she’s got millions.”

      “Fine.”

      “What does money matter?”

      “Quite.”

      “I mean, love’s love.”

      “You never spoke a truer word. If I were you, I’d write her a letter embodying those views.”

      “I will. And, by Lord!”

      “What?”

      “Jeeves shall take it to her. I should have told you that Stoker wanted Jeeves to leave me and enter his service. Now I am all for it. Jeeves shall go to him.”

      “I see what you mean. Under the Stoker banner, he will be free to come and go.”

      “Exactly.”

      “He can take a letter from you to her and then one from her to you and then one from you to her and then one from her to you and then one from you to her and then one—”

      “Yes, yes. You’ve got the idea. And in the course of this correspondence we can fix up some scheme for meeting. Have you any idea how long it takes to organize a wedding?”

      “I’m not sure. I believe, if you get a special license, you can do it like a flash.”

      “I’ll get a special license. I feel a new man. I’ll go and tell Jeeves at once. He can be on that yacht this evening.”

      At this point he suddenly stopped.

      “I suppose she really does love me?”

      “Dash it, old man, didn’t she say so?”

      “She said so, yes. Yes, she said so. But can you believe what a girl says?”

      “My СКАЧАТЬ