Positive Thinking: Everything you have always known about positive thinking but were afraid to put into practice. Vera Peiffer

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СКАЧАТЬ like them. The word ‘no’ might just as well not exist for Mice because they would not dream of uttering it, ever.

       THE MOUSE’S GOOD POINTS

      The Mouse is helpful, considerate and a great comfort to people in need. The Mouse usually has a lot of compassion for others (which, however, is not the same thing as insight), and shows untiring support for those who are ill or disadvantaged in any way. Little old ladies refer to the Mouse as an ‘angel’.

      With people needing help the Mouse feels safe and develops skills that come as a pleasant surprise to herself and others. As these points are advantageous to others, they are usually promoted as desirable.

      It has to be emphasised, though, that if helpful behaviour is carried out in a self-effacing way, without considering one’s own health or well-being, then it ceases to be positive and starts to become self-destructive.

       THE MOUSE’S PROBLEM POINTS

      It is easy for stronger personalities to take advantage of Mice. Their inability to say ‘no’ and strong sense of duty towards others make it practically impossible for them to avoid unreasonable demands.

      Mice are not necessarily liked for their helpful ways, and others often become annoyed at their non-committal hovering. Appreciation is therefore not always forthcoming for any good deeds the Mouse has done.

       THE MOUSE’S INNER STATE

      Inside, the Mouse is much more complex than is apparent from the outside. Inside, there is turmoil and upheaval, because somewhere in there is an ‘I’ that wants to come out, that has needs and urges that have been dutifully repressed for years.

      A great need for appreciation and recognition drives the Mouse to more and more good deeds and selfless acts, and if this is not praised sufficiently by others, the Mouse becomes frustrated, and this drives him or her to even more selfless acts, sometimes virtually pursuing others to off-load good deeds on to them for a potential reward of recognition. If this is not forthcoming, the Mouse feels angry, but as anger is a forbidden feeling for an angel, it has to be suppressed and the little ‘I’ becomes even smaller. The Mouse is prone to exhaustion and nervous illnesses from suppressed feelings and wishes.

      The Martyr

      The Martyr (another mainly female trait of personality) will tell everyone how weak she is, when really, underneath it all, she is as strong as an ox. Martyrs have great stamina and determination and put all their energy into getting their own way and absolute attention from everyone around them because it is attention they feel they need, deserve and have a right to. They will dwell on how they unselfishly lent you a fiver three years ago and demand eternal gratitude for this generous act.

      Although Martyrs seem to use others mainly as an audience, they are dependent on other people providing them with self-esteem. Attaining a sense of importance and self-respect through others is their main (unconscious or conscious) aim in life, and they make sure they get it. They are reasonably knowledgeable about illnesses and their symptoms and keep you posted at all times on their state of health, which, needless to say, is always poor or gives cause for worry.

      Mothers sometimes employ this behaviour as emotional blackmail in order to prevent their only child from leaving the parental home for good or from going out in the evening and developing some sort of private life. The moment the daughter or son reaches for the door handle, up comes mother’s hand over her heart, and, with a crooked but brave little smile, she’ll wish her child a pleasant evening, but the message really is, ‘Do go out, by all means! It doesn’t matter if I have a heart attack while you’re out having fun’. If the child is a Mouse, he or she will be unable to ignore these signals and stay at home.

      The true challenge occurs when two Martyrs meet. The conversation will become very intense and quickly develop into a verbal duel about who is sicker, who has had the most severe illness and the greatest number of operations (‘The surgeon couldn’t believe how anyone can survive with a gallstone that size!’). Both are mostly speaking at the same time and not really listening to what the other person is saying because they are too busy trying to remember details of their illnesses in order to triumph over their opponent.

       THE MARTYR’S GOOD POINTS

      The Martyr has high levels of energy and determination. Unfortunately, they are misdirected.

       THE MARTYR’S PROBLEM POINTS

      The Martyr attracts the Mouse. It is like a sadist-masochist relationship: the Martyr moans, the Mouse listens in awe and feels needed.

      Other people will tend to stay away from the Martyr because there is only so much lamentation you can take. When people stop coming to see Martyrs, they feel stranded with all their insecurity and proceed to produce more symptoms so that everyone begins to feel guilty and comes running back to their sick-bed, because this time they might really be ill …

      Martyrs are in danger of developing very real illnesses, purely because they are thinking of them all the time (see pages 130–1).

       THE MARTYR’S INNER STATE

      Martyrs are really lonely and insecure people who have never had enough attention in their lives. Being ill has worked once to get attention, so they use it over and over again. If they are lucky enough to come across someone who will not be blackmailed and is interested enough in them to show them different and more positive ways of gaining attention, they can learn to channel their energy into a more constructive direction and show surprising new qualities in their personality.

      The Macho Man

      These days, the Macho Man comes in many guises. He is by no means always that gift-wrapped stud that you might imagine. He can just as well be dressed with taste, carry a laptop and frequent the wine bar next to the office in the City.

      Though an apparently uninhibited and outgoing person, the Macho Man has one taboo area – the truth about his own sexual performance, which usually leaves a lot to be desired. The Macho Man, however, will not let truth stand in the way of a good story, and he has lots of stories to tell, preferably in the company of other men or, sometimes, a few giggly girls.

      His recent conquests will dominate the conversation, and he does not spare the listener details about how he did it, how many times and the name and address of the girl concerned. Alone with a woman, the Macho Man will still go on about other women, how he did it, how many times and the name and address of the girl concerned, which is not only extremely disruptive to any intimacy that might develop, it is also somewhat unpleasant for the woman he is with at the time.

      All the talking is, consciously or unconsciously, designed to distract from his inability to perform adequately in bed, and very often the ploy works, as some women will begin to wonder whether it is maybe a shortcoming in them that causes this otherwise virile man to falter in bed with them.

      Out of bed and on the motorway, the Macho Man displays more ‘here-I-come’ behaviour. In the fast lane, he will drive up close behind you at great СКАЧАТЬ