Shirley Valentine Goes to Vegas. Michelle Betham

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СКАЧАТЬ eyes almost burned into mine, my skin breaking out in goose bumps as a warm shiver ran right up my back. And for a few seconds – a few glorious, almost unreal, seconds – it was like we were the only two people in the room. ‘I… Eddie, I can’t. I can’t.’ Reality – and my over-cautious side – returned. And the moment was gone.

      ‘Okay.’ He shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets. ‘I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but… You take care now, darlin’, you hear?’

      I nodded, giving him one more smile before I turned and started to walk away, bumping straight into Finn, who was quite obviously on his way to find me.

      ‘Where the hell have you been?’ he asked, taking a beer from me. ‘Thought you were brewing the stuff yourself… What?’

      I took a quick glance behind me, and Finn’s gaze followed mine.

      ‘What am I supposed to be looking at?’

      My eyes were still on Eddie as he disappeared back into the mass of people. ‘That guy over there. The one in the black-leather biker jacket… He’s pushing a hand through his hair now, look! Him.’

      Finn frowned. ‘Yeah? What about him?’

      I took a second or two to let that totally unexpected encounter sink in a little more before I spoke again. ‘He just asked me out.’

      ‘Fuck off!’ Finn laughed, his expression changing only when he saw mine. ‘Really?’

      ‘Yes, really.’

      ‘And what did you say?’

      ‘I said I couldn’t.’ I closed my eyes and threw back my head, letting out the longest groan. ‘Why did I say that?’

      ‘Beats me, kiddo.’

      I looked at him. ‘You’re no help.’

      ‘What do you want me to do? I can go check him out for you, if you like. You know, do the brotherly thing, find out if he’s got any dark secrets…’

      I threw Finn a look. ‘I just got a shock, you know? It was a bit of a surprise, that’s all. I mean, it’s not like it’s been an everyday occurrence for me, has it? Men asking me out.’

      ‘Only because you’ve shied away from any attention of that kind, Lana. Believe me, sis, there’s a queue of people back home all gagging to ask you out, but that look you give sometimes… it kind of warns them off. You do know you’re doing that, don’t you? It’s like a fucking death stare…’

      ‘I’d just walked out on Adam.’

      ‘That was a year ago, Lana.’

      ‘I’d just walked out on my life, and I’m still trying to get used to a new one. Relationships have been the last thing on my mind.’

      ‘And now?’

      ‘My divorce has just come through, Finn.’

      ‘And your point is?’

      I threw him yet another of my withering looks. ‘I turned him down, okay? Conversation over.’

      ‘Why –did you turn him down, I mean?’

      ‘Why?’

      ‘Yes. Why?’

      It was a question I’d probably be asking myself for days to come, if I was honest. ‘Look, the ink isn’t even dry on my divorce papers…’

      ‘What’s that got to do with anything? Listen, Lana, it really is time to start living again. I know this year’s been tough on youand I know you’ve tried to move on, but you haven’t really made all that much progress, have you?’

      I stared at him with wide eyes, indicating my tattoos, my black-tipped hair; my skinny jeans and biker boots. ‘This isn’t progress?’

      ‘That’s all wrapping paper, kiddo. I’m talking about what’s going on inside.’

      ‘You’re very perceptive, all of a sudden.’

      He pulled a face, downing another mouthful of beer. ‘Why not take a chance now and again? That’s all I’m saying.’

      I looked back out into the crowd, even though I knew Eddie would be long gone and the slight pang of regret I’d felt since he’d walked away intensified. Why couldn’t I just have said yes? There’d been something about that manand not just the way he looked, all edgy and rough and, quite frankly, hotashell. There’d just been something about him… the way he’d looked at me. There was a connection there and I’d just severed it, dead. ‘Should I have accepted?’ I asked quietly, still staring out into the crowd, as though willing Eddie to reappear. Eddie Fletcher – the kind of Prince Charming who wouldn’t so much ride up on a white stallion, he’d be more likely to cruise up on a Harley, and I’d turned him down!

       Oh God! I’d said no! How could I have said no?! Lana, you idiot!

      Finn shrugged, his voice pulling me back to reality. ‘All I’m saying is, you’re trying to build this new life for yourself, right? And I can only do so much, you know? I mean, I’ve given you one hell of a kick-start…’

      I playfully nudged his arm. ‘Don’t sell yourself short or anything.’

      ‘I really am being serious now, Lana. Sometimes in life you’ve just got to take a risk. And this could have been one of those times.’

      I sighed. ‘I’m not looking for any kind of relationship, Finn, you know that.’

      ‘He asked you out, sis. He didn’t propose.’

      He put his arm around my shoulders again and I hugged his waist tight as we walked. ‘It just all feels a bit… I dunno. Odd. Surreal.’

      ‘Truthfully, did even the tiniest part of you want to say yes to him?’ Finn asked.

      ‘Yeah. It did. It really did.’

      ‘Then you should have gone with your gut, girl.’

      ‘I know,’ I sighed, because regret was kicking in big-time now.

      ‘I mean, what happened to that fun-loving, kick-ass woman you told me you were gonna become? I thought you were someone who was determined to take life by the balls and live it.’

      ‘I am. It’s just… it’s still hard for me, sometimes, to get my head around the fact that this is me now. You know what I was like before, and this – this is so different.’

      Finn flashed me a huge grin. ‘Yeah, but just remember how boring your life was before you started hanging out with me again.’

      I smiled at him, knowing he was kind of right. But my life hadn’t been that bad before. It just hadn’t been the life I’d wanted in the end. ‘Even if I was looking to start all that dating crap again, Finn, I’m not sure… Look, all of this is pointless. I said no, he’s gone, it’s over.’

      Finn СКАЧАТЬ