Three Wise Men. Martina Devlin
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Название: Three Wise Men

Автор: Martina Devlin

Издательство: HarperCollins

Жанр: Зарубежный юмор

Серия:

isbn: 9780007439645

isbn:

СКАЧАТЬ hand in Miss McGinn guise, as he reached to embrace her.

      ‘First you must decline love,’ she’d command, putting him through his amo-amas-amats. His reward would be a juicy smooch. They all made kissy-kissy noises at Eimear before collapsing in fits of giggles.

      ‘Of course with the benefit of experience we know now that a permanent courtship doesn’t make Miss McGinn odd in the least, it leaves her one of the sanest women in Ireland,’ says Kate. ‘It gives her all the advantages of a man in her life without any of the disadvantages. The only mystery is why more women don’t do a Miss McGinn.’

      Gloria is unconvinced. ‘If life was so wonderful, how come she was always in a grump?’

      ‘Speaking of wonderful lives, I have to get back to my enthralling job. See you tomorrow, Glo.’

      As she replaces the receiver, Kate spies an Evening Herald folded on a corner of her desk. She flicks straight to the star signs and reads Libra. There’s some space-filling drivel about Saturn in ascendant then it cuts to the chase:

      ‘A day to tread warily because nasty surprises are possible,’ she reads aloud.

      She doesn’t like the sound of that, but before gloom settles she spots the date on the paper – it’s yesterday’s. Good, she’s off the hook for today. Now she really must get on with the Toner conveyancing.

      Chance would be a fine thing. Kate’s concentration lasts all of sixty seconds before paralysis of the little grey cells sets in. The Toners may be champing at the bit to move but they won’t be any nearer completion today. Kate resigns herself to the inevitable, picks up a pencil and starts doodling.

      Eimear Mulligan, she’s writing – not Eimear O’Brien, her friend’s married name. Her insides are churning as she thinks of Eimear, she may hate her but she loves her too.

      She loves her when they’re together but hates her when she’s with Jack, maybe that’s partly guilt, her mother says you always detest the person you’ve wronged.

      ‘Between my mother and Gloria, I’m knee-deep in this bloody homespun wisdom,’ she chafes.

      When she was six there was none of this equivocation: she’d have given Eimear her cornflake-box crown if she asked for it. Kate draws spiky crowns across her doodle pad, then tears the page up.

      She took Jack from her friend because she could. Jack the blue-eyed boy, Jack the white-headed man, Jack the ace, Eimear’s Jack.

      It was meant to be a fling, she was never supposed to find out. Of course Eimear still doesn’t know – but the game has changed and the rules along with it. She believed she could hug to herself the secret glee of Jack’s defection. Kate and Pearse would be invited to Donnybrook as usual, she’d see Jack pouring drinks, complimenting his wife on a delicious meal, resting his arm lightly around her shoulders as they described holidays and discussed kitchen extensions. They’d look the perfect couple and Kate would know, and exult in her knowledge, that Eimear’s life had the potential to be as miserable as anyone else’s for all her Barbie charm.

      Her watertight scheme sprang a leak when she and Jack fell in love. Kate found it just about believable that Eimear’s Jack would fancy her, men were always calling her sexy, but beyond comprehension that he’d insist he wanted her for longer than a night or two. That he’d insist he needed her from here to eternity.

      ‘Eimear’s everything I’m not,’ she protested one night as they lay in a tangle of sheets and limbs.

      ‘Exactly,’ he agreed, nuzzling her instep. Her instep! Pearse probably wouldn’t know how to find it let alone kiss it.

      ‘But she’s exquisite and talented and as flawless as …’ Kate gabbled.

      ‘As flawless as a marble statue and twice as cold,’ Jack finished her sentence. ‘She goes to bed with me as a favour, not because she can’t help herself. I want a woman who’s real, who has scars’ – he traced a thin line along her chin, the legacy of riding a bicycle without brakes – ‘who has a stomach and lips and breasts’ – he licked each part of her anatomy as he itemised it – ‘a woman who’s not afraid to eat and drink and enjoy life.’

      Kate hugs the intoxicating memory to herself. But another call comes in and Bridie doesn’t even go through the motions of asking her if she’s free to take it, she slams it through.

      ‘Isabel Eccles on line two,’ she snaps.

      When Kate lifts the receiver she hears a burst of Waterloo – she’s been put on hold.

      ‘Abba as elevator muzak – whatever happened to “Greensleeves”?’ Kate wonders aloud.

      Abba reminds her of being a teenager with the three of them locked in Eimear’s bedroom, experimenting with glitter eyeshadow and ransacking the wardrobe. It was there they had their first puffs on a cigarette, menthol, because Eimear reasoned the minty taste wouldn’t leave them with bad breath. Eimear acquired the knack of smoking without turning the butt soggy almost immediately but Kate and Gloria were slower on the uptake. Eimear told them they shouldn’t get hooked because women who smoke have wrinklier skin.

      ‘She’s a twenty-a-day girl herself while Glo and I never did acquire the habit,’ says Kate, severing the connection while Abba’s vocal cords are still in full throttle. ‘And naturally, her complexion is still as clear as a morning in May.’

      Kate taps on the intercom, intent on currying favour.

      ‘Why don’t you head for the hills now, Bridie, you’ve put in some late nights recently.’

      Bridie doesn’t need telling twice, the extra half-hour will give her a head start on the other working mothers in the supermarket queue.

      ‘I do have to nip into Dunnes for tonight’s dinner,’ she admits, although her enthusiasm is deliberately muted so that Kate needn’t imagine she’s won over. Kate’s been slacking for the past few months and Bridie is exasperated at covering up for her.

      Jack’s face swims into Kate’s mind again; until he came along she was feeling disillusioned by her countrymen’s amorous technique.

      ‘Mind you,’ she acknowledges, ‘they can talk any girl into a bedroom, I’ll grant our lads that, they have the gab. But then they want to race through all the heave-ho part as though their time is precious and it’s being frittered away. You might squeeze a little post-coital sweet talk out of them if they imagine they’re in love but, smitten or not, before long they’re thirsting for a pint of draught. Preferably in male-only company.’

      Jack’s Irish but she excludes him from the herd. He’s not so much attached to the sod as to behaving like a sod, even Kate recognises that – still, it makes him all the more seductive when he sets out to seduce. He’s an incomparable lover, he has the soul of a poet. Of course it’s for his body she goes to bed with him, she giggles.

      But Eimear’s jingle-jangling inside their triangle and Kate knows she can’t keep out of her way forever, just like she can’t keep her secret indefinitely. She’s longing for it to be out in the open. And dreading it.

      Kate has never seen Gloria so angry, СКАЧАТЬ