The Sandman Slim Series Books 1-4. Richard Kadrey

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СКАЧАТЬ back, using the na’at’s razor edges like a drill to open up the wound even wider. The last big pull hit the spring lock that made the na’at collapse back into itself. The force knocked me flat on my back, but that was all right, because it also pulled out attendant number three’s black heart and part of his spine.

      Do I even need to tell how the crowd reacted to seeing one of their own eviscerated? The cheer nearly melted my eardrums. I was Hendrix at Woodstock.

      But just killing my attendants isn’t what taught me that I had a temper or what gave Azazel the idea that I might have the stomach for serial murder. It’s what happened next.

      I piled dead attendant one on the body of dead attendant two, climbed up both of them, and grabbed one of the torches off the arena wall. Fire in Hell isn’t like Earth fire. It’s more like Greek fire or burning magnesium. It burns long and hot and is practically impossible to put out. While attendant number three tried to crawl away from where I’d left him, I shoved the lit torch into the hole in his chest where his heart used to be. He didn’t just have jack-o’-lantern hands anymore. His whole body lit up, burned, and burst like the Hindenburg.

      I used the na’at to slice through the chains and made a break for the door. Not that I ever had a chance of making it. Twenty armed guards came pouring into the place. I had enough full-tilt crazy left that I killed three or four of them before the na’at flew apart in my hand. It was all country music after that. Those Hellion guards square-danced all over me. It was Azazel himself who broke up the party and kept the guards from killing me.

      They threw me in one of the arena’s punishment cells and put a couple of guards on the door. At the time, I thought that was overkill. I was already three-quarters gone. There was no chance I was going to even try to escape. Later, I realized that the guards were there to keep other Hellions from getting in and finishing me. That cell was where I first realized that I was officially hard to kill.

      I went in there bleeding and slashed, and with half my bones sticking out through the skin. Three days later, I could stand up. A day after that, I could walk. My guards didn’t like this one bit. When they thought I was asleep, they’d sneak peeks at me through a sliding panel in the cell door. There was something new in their eyes. I should have been deader than dead. But I wasn’t. They thought I was a monster. And no one bothered me until a few days later when Azazel sent a friendly little homunculus with sweet Hell fruit and Aqua Regia and a request that I join the general for dinner that night. Naturally, I said yes.

      That’s the upside of a temper. The downside is that it makes you do stupid things, like not watch where you’re going.

      I’m stalking through the party, trying to catch a trace of Jayne-Anne, when I walk straight into someone, knocking his drink all over his $10,000 suit. The guy gets up and starts to call me an asshole, but only gets out, “Assh—” before he chokes.

      It’s Brad Pitt. Not the actor, but my favorite crackhead from the outside cemetery when I first got back.

      I say, “Where you been, man? I’ve missed you.”

      “Security!” he yells.

      “I’ve been meaning to give this back to you.”

      I pull his stun gun from my pocket and zap him in the ribs, just for old times’ sake. He goes down like a sack of lug nuts and I drop the stun gun on top of him. It won’t do much good against what I know will be here in a second.

      I’m not entirely stupid. I start back for the office when security comes tearing around the corner before I can get very far. Five or six of them. Buzz-cut heads and necks as wide as manhole covers. They look as stupid in their suits as I do. But they have more guns. They all draw down on me, but don’t make a move. A woman walks around them and heads right for me. She has no idea who I am. Until she does.

      “You’re dead,” she says.

      “Not as dead as you’re about to be.”

      Jayne-Anne backs off, yelling, “Kitty! Bennett!”

      A starlet-skinny blonde in an off-the-shoulder designer schmata and a fop who looks like Ziggy Stardust in a purple velvet suit come around from behind the guards.

      They reek of magic. It comes off them like heat ripples over desert asphalt.

      So, to recap: we have five or six guns, a couple of hoodoo hipster killers, an old friend who wants me dead, a lot of drunks and naked showgirls, and me in a borrowed suit. I’d duck through a shadow, but with the crazy lighting in this place, there’s nothing dark or deep enough for me to dive through.

      Even my stupidity has its limits. I turn and run.

      Fire and lightning explode behind me. Burning golden sparks rain down on me like a thousand lit matches, burning through the suit and into my skin. Best of all, ducking and bouncing off the walls to keep from getting hit is making the bullets in my chest very angry. They scrape my ribs and prod my lungs. I can already feel blood in the back of my throat. I’m never going to outrun these idiots.

      I drop to my hands and knees, breathing hard through the froth in my throat. Blondie and the fop stop and look at each other, a couple of good hunting dogs who just ran down the fox and are about get their reward.

      I’ve got their reward.

      I shout guttural Hellion syllables, coughing up blood with every word. I push every ounce of power I have down through my arms and legs. I spit and my blood soaks into the expensive carpet that lines the hallway. Then it’s gone. So is the floor. But I knew that was going to happen. Jayne-Anne’s magicians and her armed linebackers didn’t. They fall straight through where the hall floor used to be, roll down the hillside and into the trees. Jayne-Anne’s and my eyes meet just long enough for me to give her a little wink. Then someone grabs me from behind and drags me back into the office that I wasn’t supposed to leave in the first place. Plenty of shadows in here. I grab Vidocq’s shoulder and we walk out through a photo of Jayne-Anne glad-handing the pope.

      Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

      WE STEP OUT of a shadow and into Muninn’s cavern. Vidocq turns and punches me in the gut. I go down on one knee.

      “You fucking child! You could have gotten us both killed.”

      This isn’t the first time Vidocq has been mad at me, but it’s the first time he’s ever gotten physical. Good job. I’m about to lose one of the few friends I have on this rock.

      When I don’t get up he says, “Don’t play with me. I didn’t hit you that hard.” Then he must see the blood. “What happened to you?”

      “You hurt me bad, Pepe LePew,” I say.

      “You child,” he says, and helps me to my feet. The bullets are rattling around inside me like gravel in a tin can.

      Muninn looks like a little kid on Christmas morning when Vidocq hands him a small golden box with what looks like delicate grasshopper wings on top.

      “Perfect. Beautiful,” he says over and over. He takes the box over to what looks like solid rock. But with a few touches and turns to specific stones, the rock face swings away, revealing an enormous vault in the side of the cavern. Muninn takes the golden box inside, comes back out, and seals the vault so that it’s invisible again.

      “You’ve СКАЧАТЬ