Josephine Cox Sunday Times Bestsellers Collection. Josephine Cox

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СКАЧАТЬ a time it was Vicky who spoke. ‘Leonard?’

      ‘Yes, my darling?’

      ‘Will Ronnie ever come home to us?’

      Leonard nodded his head. ‘I hope so. He’s already made a start by coming to work on the estate.’

      ‘I really thought he would go to gaol after that last court hearing. Drunk in the road … cursing and fighting with the officers when they tried to arrest him. In some ways, you would think he was seventeen, not a man of nearly forty. Oh Leonard, I wish now that we had let him fight in the war, even though it would have broken my heart to see him go. It might have got rid of some of his demons.’ Her heart turned over at the thought of it all. ‘He carries such anger inside.’

      ‘I know. But he does seem to be coping with life better these days. Perhaps he’s turned the corner at long last.’

      In his heart, Leonard held out small hope. Ronnie had always clung to his father; all his young life he had modelled himself on Barney, and after they were made to leave him behind, Ronnie never really got over it.

      ‘To hell with it!’ Sliding out from underneath the tractor, Ronnie threw the wrench across the ground. ‘The damned thing was rotten right through. It’s snapped in half now and I can’t shift it no way!’

      Having stood patiently by while Ronnie tried to replace the bolt in the floor of the tractor, Thomas picked up the wrench. ‘Don’t get all worked up,’ he told him sternly. ‘You’re always in too much of a hurry, that’s your trouble.’

      ‘Huh! Well, that’s rich, I must say. I’ve been working at it for half an hour.’

      Getting down to his knees, Thomas peered beneath the tractor. ‘Ten minutes, not half an hour,’ he reminded his brother. ‘You’ve been at it for ten minutes, and in that time you’ve managed to cause chaos. You caught the fuel pipe and almost ripped it off in a panic, and now you’ve chopped the bolt off so there isn’t enough left to grip hold of.’ He gave a weary grin. ‘Do me a favour, will you?’ he asked light-heartedly.

      Ronnie groaned. ‘Now what?’

      ‘While I’m under here, I want you to stay right where you are. Don’t do anything! Don’t try to help, and don’t move, not even an inch. Do you think you could manage that?’

      Ronnie had to smile. ‘I reckon so,’ he answered sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, Tom … bad night, worse morning. One o’ them days, eh?’

      Thomas crawled under the tractor. ‘I know what you mean,’ he remarked cynically. ‘Since first light this morning you’ve been a right pain, moaning and groaning, dropping this and throwing that. To tell you the truth, I’d rather you stayed away when you’re in one of those moods.’

      ‘All right, all right! There’s no need to keep on, dammit!’ Kicking the tractor with the flat of his foot, Ronnie cursed under his breath when his foot began to throb. ‘It’s just that, well, these days, I’ve got things on my mind. I can’t seem to concentrate.’ A wry smile lifted the corners of his mouth. ‘Everything I touch seems to go wrong.’

      Thomas smiled up at him. ‘You’re a walking disaster,’ he agreed. ‘Now just remember to stay right where you are – at least until I get out from under here. That’s all I’m asking.’

      Ronnie nodded. ‘Sure.’

      ‘Oh, and by the way, what happened to that good-looking woman I saw you with at the park … Norma, wasn’t it?’

      Ronnie tutted. ‘Nancy! Her name was Nancy.’

      ‘OK, so what happened to Nancy?’

      ‘It wasn’t working out.’

      Thomas slid out from under the tractor. ‘What you mean is, she got fed up with your fiery moods and quick temper, and she dumped you. Am I right – is that what happened?’

      ‘Something like that, yes.’ Ronnie shrugged his shoulders. ‘She went off with some wagon-driver. It doesn’t bother me, though. She wasn’t so perfect either, when it came right down to it. Truth is, I think I’m well out of that one.’

      Tapping him on the shoulder with the wrench, Thomas warned his younger brother, ‘One of these days you’ll find somebody you really love. You’ll drive her away with that raging temper of yours and live to regret it.’

      ‘So what?’ Ronnie gave the tractor another vicious kick. ‘It wouldn’t be the first thing I’ve lived to regret!’ With a parting shot he strode off. ‘Tell Mom I’m staying in town tonight.’

      ‘Why don’t you stay home, just this once?’ Thomas asked angrily. ‘You know that’s what she wants.’

      ‘Oh yeah?’ Ronnie turned on him. ‘Well, we don’t always get what we want out of life, do we, eh? I wanted her to stay and work it out with Dad, but she refused. When we got here, I wanted her to go back and try again, but oh no! And when it was too late and we heard that Dad had died, it didn’t take her long to marry Leonard, did it? All women are bitches, in my opinion.’

      ‘It wasn’t like that, and you know it!’

      Grabbing him by the shirt-collar, Thomas reminded him, ‘Leonard has been good to us. If it hadn’t been for him, God only knows where we might have ended up. As for Mom, she was devastated when Dad did what he did … parading himself through the centre of Liverpool with tarts and drunks. And don’t forget how he turned on her when she tried to reason with him! I’ll never know why he changed like he did. But he did, and it hurt. It hurt us, and it hurt her more. Don’t tell me she didn’t try to rebuild the family, because she tried time and again, belittling herself for our sakes, but Dad was so far gone he didn’t want to know! As for her marrying Leonard, what would you have her do, eh? Spend the rest of her life being lonely, brooding over what happened?’

      He gave Ronnie a shake. ‘Did you really want her to go back and beg Dad to change his mind? Did you want her to suffer another round of shame and rejection? Is that what you wanted? Is it?’

      There were tears in both men’s eyes.

      Thomas, too, had been affected by leaving his father in Liverpool, but through it all he saw himself as the man of the family. With Susie and his mother in pieces and Ronnie getting involved with all manner of bad things, it was up to him to reassure the others, when all the time he was feeling heartbroken and bitter. He loved his father. But seeing him turn into a stranger had been devastating. To his dying day he would never understand why it happened the way it did. But it did, and they had to live with it – Ronnie included!

      Suddenly, the younger man was crying, loud bitter sobs that shook Thomas to his roots. ‘I didn’t mean to blame her,’ he wept. ‘I know it wasn’t her fault.’

      Wrapping an arm round him, Thomas held him in a brotherly hug. ‘Just remember, she did what she could,’ he said quietly. ‘She secured us a future, and I for one am glad she has somebody else to look out for her. Leonard is a good man, you know that.’

      Ronnie didn’t look up. Instead, he nodded his head. Then he turned and walked away.

      Thomas watched him go. He saw the hunched shoulders and the dogged steps, and it tore him apart. ‘Ronnie, come back … RONNIE!’ СКАЧАТЬ