And God Created the Au Pair. Pascale Smets

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      I have taken up horseback riding this year and started learning the saxophone as I am always looking for ways to expand my horizons. Music, of course, enriches the soul and riding is an amazing way to free your mind and refresh your spirit. My instructor is wonderful, though quite a tease. He calls me ‘The Red Peril’ – I can’t think why!!

      

      Kane and I took a fabulous vacation in California in the spring, the first we have had without the girls for some years. We had a great time, wonderful meals, walks along the beach, just spending time together and of course plenty of … romance! … it was like a second honeymoon and I packed lots of lacy lingerie and very little else, not that Kane needs encouraging in that direction at any time of the year!!

      

      Our menagerie continues to grow since I can never resist an animal in distress, so we now have our two dogs, Buster and Bibi, both great characters. Three cats, Mittens, Lolly and Peetie – they consider themselves very superior to the dogs! We have also inherited a mynah bird called Min who makes us laugh with his tricks and a lizard called Spike who keeps escaping so this house is even crazier than before!

      

      So, dear friends I send you all our warmest holiday wishes. May your tables be laden, your homes warm and welcoming and your dear ones be near you throughout this special season.

      

      Suzette, Kane, Sophie and Takara

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      Re: All Things Christmassy

      

      How can I get on her mailing list? Haven’t so thoroughly enjoyed reading anything for ages. Glad to hear you’re wrong about Sophie and she’s not moody and unpleasant but is ‘funny and special’. Took Fran to get her Christmas tree this morning (Joe away). She has another driving test next week and says by law of averages she will definitely, definitely pass this time, seemed churlish to mention don’t think examiners take the law of averages into account when they decide whether or not you’re road-worthy … anyway ended up buying a tree for us too. Even though we’re coming to you, seemed miserable not to get one at all & the children all desperate for one. Spent the afternoon decorating it – tried not to be too blatantly controlling by immediately rearranging their decorations but instead will wait till they’re safely in bed. Hugh’s rather catastrophic method of embellishment was to just hold the decoration in the vicinity of the branch he wanted it to go on & then let go. Didn’t work very well. So I spent the afternoon sweeping up decorations while he stood behind me going ‘uh-oh’.

      

      Got Selena’s ‘card’ this morning, probably hasn’t reached you yet so allow me to whet your appetite. This year it’s a musical theme with Ariadne playing the lute (no, that is not a typo it really is a lute), Portia on a clarinet/oboe? can’t tell really so bloody soft focus & dark (obviously whole scene candlelit) & as the piece de resistance Edwin playing a v manly harpsichord. Do they actually play any of these instruments? Can’t decide whether it’s worse to set the whole thing up as a gigantic pose or actually make your child learn the lute & harpsichord …

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Yes, hard one to call, rather suspect they do actually learn them, after all have with my own eyes seen the girls wearing velvet cloaks with fur muffs. Am obviously now awaiting the card most eagerly. Mind you, not impossible that it came and I never saw it as I walked into the kitchen yesterday to find Michael opening a Christmas card, glancing at it then chucking it in the bin. As I have never yet seen him open anything that came in the post in our 87 years of marriage I was momentarily rendered speechless. When I did recover power of speech I gently enquired how many other cards he had thrown out. Unfortunately I was unable to elicit any useful information as he thought it might be a few but couldn’t say who they were from, so now suspect there may be cards to which I have failed to retaliate.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      Re: Christmas Bazaar (I shall be marvellous)

      

      Dan says he is going to kill me as I have become involved in the fundraising committee at school and have volunteered to help run the Christmas bazaar. Am in charge of Christmas decorations stall so schlepped all the way to Old Street to specialist art shop to buy v thin sheet copper & tin with which to make charming leaf decorations (these will be sold on the stall), fingers now bloodied stumps & children & husband sick of me ignoring them while I make v tasteful oak-leaf garlands. Still have to make 100 mini felt stockings & Xmas trees (for children to decorate at the stall), have also promised foreign & therefore pleasingly educational Swedish Christmas bread for the cake stall which Ana Frid is going to show me how to make.

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      You are so bonkers, you’re the only person on earth who’d go to that ridiculous amount of trouble for a school bazaar, and it’s only so everyone will say oh-my-goodness-isn’t-she-creative-and-original but secretly they will hate you.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      Re: Hugh’s naughtiest day

      

      Bloody hell, Hugh a total nightmare at the moment. No doubt entirely my own fault as I am far too indulgent & practically always laugh at what he has done. Today he surpassed himself. Morning started fine, with a bit of quiet painting until he decided to go ‘off-piste’ as it were while I was upstairs putting away laundry. Ignored large quantity of sugar paper laid out in front of him & instead lavishly painted the kitchen walls. Paint claims to be washable, true you can wash it but it doesn’t bloody well come off. That accomplished, he moved upstairs to busy himself in the living room by stripping the decorations off all the branches he could reach on our Christmas tree. All the while taking experimental bites with his small sharp teeth out of the fake gingerbread men decorations I made last year & mauling apples & satsumas I’d hung up on ribbons. He wisely decided against eating the gingerbread men as they are made from salt dough coloured with coffee (for authentic gingerbread appearance), instead spat bits out all over the living-room floor. His next move – possibly a crude attempt to cleanse palate of vile salt dough/coffee taste? – was to eat most of the chocolates out of Ellie’s Advent calendar. Finally (and v dramatically) got so cross about being stopped from eating chocolates he threw Ellie’s favourite snow globe so hard he broke it. That done, he rested. What to do?

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      He can’t help himself, it’s the testosterone. V much hope that if I get pregnant again will be a girl as I СКАЧАТЬ