Liverpool Miss. Helen Forrester

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СКАЧАТЬ torn, grey garment was covered with blood.

      I thought I would faint with sheer terror.

      Was it appendicitis?

      Again the waves of pain. I dropped down on to the seat, clasping my stomach. When the pain eased slightly, I hitched up the soaked knickers and took Edward back into the house. I had to lie down.

      Avril was sitting on an upturned paint can, nursing a stray cat which had wandered in a day or two before. She had been crying and when she saw me, she let out a fresh bellow. Normally, I would have comforted her, but this time I dumped Edward unceremoniously down beside her.

      ‘Watch Edward,’ I ordered.

      Where should I lie?

      My bed upstairs was a door set on four bricks and I could lie on it. But Edward might follow me up the stairs and then fall down again.

      Better to go into the nicely furnished front room, a place I normally did not enter because Edward was usually with me – and he always had grubby hands and was not yet reliably watertight.

      Edward did follow me in, and I hastily gave him the new, unused bronze fire irons to play with. A resentful Avril stayed with the cat.

      My parents, with their usual blithe inconsequence, had furnished the front room very well on the hire purchase system, regardless of the fact that the children still slept three to a bed under a motley collection of old coats and bits of blanket; and I did not even have a bed.

      I was thankful enough that day, however, to curl up on the green leatherette settee. In the foetal position the pain lessened, though during the next surge I fainted.

      I sobbed to myself and prayed that Mother would come home soon. Then the scarifying spasms retreated slightly and I fell into a doze.

      Father shook me gently to awaken me and asked anxiously, ‘Are you all right, dear? You look very white.’

      My stomach and back were tight knots of pain, increasing and decreasing like waves on a seashore. I was also shivering with cold from the unheated room. I hardly dared to move, as I whimpered out the story of the torment I was enduring.

      ‘My underneaths are bleeding, Daddy. Do you think I’ve got appendicitis?’

      Bent over me, he listened. Then his eyes began to twinkle, his lips to twitch. A loud guffaw burst from him.

      I was horrified at such a reaction to my story.

      ‘Daddy!’ I reproached him, and then broke into a moan as the pain increased.

      Father straightened up and, still smiling, let out a slow sigh of relief.

      ‘Didn’t your mother explain this to you?’

      ‘What?’

      ‘This – this bleeding?’

      ‘No. Was she expecting it?’ I was totally bewildered, and I sobbed as the pain hit new heights.

      ‘Well, of course. She must have been. You’re a girl.’

      ‘Of course, I’m a girl,’ I gasped. ‘What difference does that make? Daddy, could you get the doctor? The pain’s getting worse.’ I was deeply upset at his laconic attitude.

      He hesitated for a moment. Then he said, ‘You just stay where you are for the moment, until Mother comes home. Fiona’s making the tea. I’ll ask her to bring you a cup. She peeked in here and thought you were sleeping, so she has laid the table for you and cut the bread and butter. I will make the fire in the kitchen for the children.’ His voice was kind.

      With eyes screwed tight to help me bear the raging pain, I put my head down again on the inhospitable green leatherette. I heard him open the door, pause a moment and then say, ‘Don’t be afraid, old lady. This is nothing to be frightened about. You don’t need a doctor.’

      I did not answer him, because I did not believe him. I could not understand how anyone could be in such pain and not need a doctor. ‘Mummy, come soon,’ I sobbed. Cold, indifferent Mother seemed to be the key to it all.

      The door clicked again and I opened my eyes. Fiona entered, carefully balancing a coarse china cup on a saucer which did not match. Despite her care, the tea slopped as she put the cup and saucer into my hand. She looked at me anxiously from beneath a roughly cut fringe of nut-brown hair.

      ‘Daddy said to drink the tea while it is very hot. What’s the matter, Helen? You look awful.’

      I was shaking so much that, as I raised myself a little, I slopped the tea on to the new settee. ‘I don’t know, Fi,’ I answered, as I tried to sip the scalding liquid. ‘Daddy says it’s nothing – but, oh, Fi, I’ve got such a terrible pain in my back and tummy – and I’m bleeding underneath.’

      Fiona’s pink cheeks blenched. ‘Bleeding?’

      I nodded affirmatively. The tea was comforting and I drank it eagerly, though it was hot enough to burn my tongue.

      ‘Oh, Helen!’ she whispered.

      ‘Daddy said to stay here till Mummy came. Can you manage?’

      ‘Yes, of course. Daddy’s making the fire and Alan is fetching the coal for him. You rest. Mummy will come soon.’ She was trying hard not to panic herself.

      ‘Where’s Edward?’ I asked.

      ‘He’s in the kitchen. He’s fine.’

      I could feel a warm trickle between my thighs and I took deep breaths to avoid screaming in fright.

      ‘Go and have your own tea,’ I told her in a strained whisper, and she went, stopping at the door to look back at me with fearful violet-blue eyes.

      ‘Don’t be afraid, Fi,’ I panted and tried to muster a smile for her sake. ‘I’ll be all right.’

      She smiled back with sudden relief and shut the door quietly after her.

      I was sure, as I sank back on to the settee, that I was on my death bed. And Father did not care!

       Five

      Mother sat down on the green leatherette easy chair opposite to me, and took off her hat. She looked tired and irritable.

      ‘Oh, Mummy,’ I wailed. ‘I’ve got such a terrible pain – and I’m bleeding.’

      ‘Oh, stop crying, Helen,’ Mother snapped wearily. ‘There’s nothing the matter with you. This is what I told you about years ago. All girls bleed every month.’

      I looked at her with wide-eyed horror, while I pressed my hands into my raging stomach. ‘I don’t remember your telling me.’

      ‘Of course, I did – when you were about nine.’

      If she had told СКАЧАТЬ