Knights of the Black and White Book One. Jack Whyte

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      “But never be tempted to believe they know nothing. That would be the worst kind of folly. They know. And we know they know, even if we never mention it among ourselves. But their knowledge is as close held as is our own. They never speak of it among themselves, to any great extent. They know, somehow, that it concerns an ancient trust of some description, and they are content, and even proud, that their men, their families, are strong enough and true enough to have earned that trust and to be worthy of it. And thus, in their silent knowledge, our strength grows the greater. Your young wives will learn that truth now, just as you are learning it, and you will see, no more will be said of any of it.”

      The Baron looked around at his three young listeners, and then smiled. “I would ask if you have any questions, but I know that it is still too soon for questions. What you all require now is time to think about what you have been told. Go then, and think.”

      “I HAVE A QUESTION.” Godfrey sat up straight as he made his announcement. It was the same day, and the sinking sun was throwing elongated shadows across the grass in the meadow where the three of them had been lounging under a tree, their backs propped against a sloping, mossy bank for the previous hour and more, thinking deeply and saying little.

      Hugh tilted his head and looked up at Godfrey from beneath an arched eyebrow. “For my father? I have no idea where he might be by now.”

      “No, not for your father, for you, because you’re the one who has been studying all the lore.” Godfrey was frowning, no trace of his usual levity present in his gaze.

      “Ask away, then. I’m still a tyro but I’ll answer if I can.”

      “What do you really think about all we’ve learned?”

      Hugh remained motionless for several moments, his eyes closed, and then he pushed himself up and around so he could see Godfrey clearly. “What kind of a question is that? Are you asking me for my opinion of all we have learned since we were born? If that’s what you mean, then let’s fetch our practice swords and go to it right here. Better a healthy sweat than wasting an afternoon wondering about nonsense.”

      “No, that’s not what I meant at all … I’m not sure what I meant, Hugh, but it’s important. What …” Godfrey’s face twisted in a frustrated grimace. “I know what I want to ask you, but I don’t know how to put it into words properly. Let me think about it for a moment.”

      “Think for as long as you wish. I’ll wait.” Hugh lay back and closed his eyes again. Payn had not stirred.

      Some time later, Godfrey tried again, “I wonder about what you believe.”

      Hugh did not even open his eyes. “How could that interest you in any way? Why should it? What I believe is in my own mind.”

      “Oh, come on, Hugh, don’t be tiresome. I’m asking for your advice because I don’t know what I believe.”

      That opened Hugh’s eyes. “How can you not know that? That may be the silliest thing I have ever heard you say, Goff.”

      “It’s not silly at all. You know me, Hugh. I am obedient to my elders and superiors in all things. And I believe whatever I’m told to believe—always have, since our first days in Brother Anselm’s classroom, when we were all tads. After all, there was no option, was there? The Church tells us we have to believe what we are told. The priests tell us we’re not clever enough to understand anything about God and His teachings without their help. They are God’s interpreters, and only they are qualified to explain His mysteries, His words, and His wishes to us. It was always that way, and I always believed them. Until very recently …”

      He sat staring into the distance for a while before he continued. “Now I don’t know what to believe … and I don’t know why I don’t know. When I joined the brotherhood and was Raised and learned about the Order’s origins, and about our ancestors being Jews and our Friendly Families springing from the priesthood of the Essenes, I had no difficulty with what I was learning, new and different as it was. Somehow, I managed to keep the two information sources separate. One was ancient history and the other was life today. I am amazed now, I admit, by how long I was able to keep doing that. But in the past few months I have lost my way. Everything is confusing now—the Church’s teachings and the Order’s, and how they fit and how they don’t—and it has all been swarming in my mind so that now I don’t know what I should believe. I have two sources of information, each appearing to be equally credible, each claiming supremacy, and each asserting itself as the One, True Way. And yet neither one of them makes complete sense.”

      He fell silent for a moment, and then added, in a strangely flat, emotionless voice, “Help me, Hugh.”

      Hugh opened his eyes and shifted his head slightly, looking up at his friend, but before he could say anything, Payn, whose eyes were still closed against the sun’s brightness, added, “Yes, help him, Hugh, for the love of God, because then you’ll help me, too. If Godfrey is as confused as he claims, I can but think him fortunate, since I myself am not confused by it at all … I am utterly blind and deathly ignorant on exactly the same matters.”

      Hugh looked in amazement at Payn, who opened his eyes and spread his hands in a silent shrug.

      “What should surprise you about that?” Payn said. “You know me well, my friend, better than any other. I am a knight, and that is all I wish to be. I am a warrior by birth, a fighter—a brawling, ignorant lout—and happy to be one. I have no time, and no wish, to fill my life with the kind of mystic, smoke-shrouded things that excite you … all this mummery about the secrets and mysteries within the Order. To us it’s all babble and bluster and we don’t understand a word of it.”

      “Crusty’s right, Hugh.” Godfrey was nodding solemnly. “We don’t know what to believe, but we both believe that you know what’s right, and if you tell us what that is, we’ll believe you.”

      Hugh had abandoned any pretense of laziness soon after Godfrey launched into this astonishing plea, and now he sat straight-backed and pale-faced, gazing at his two friends from wide, unblinking eyes. He made to speak, but although his mouth opened and his lips moved, nothing emerged. He pushed himself to his feet. Godfrey glanced worriedly at Payn and then spoke up again.

      “Hugh, we’re not asking you to sin, or to betray anything. This is very straightforward. Among the three of us, you are the one who knows most about this kind of matter. All we’re asking you to do is tell us what you think, what you believe, based upon what you’ve learned since you joined the Order. That’s all.”

      “That’s all?” Hugh’s voice sounded different to his own ears, husky and throaty. “That’s all? You’re asking me to be your priest, your spiritual guide, to direct you towards salvation. I can’t do that, Goff. I don’t know where salvation lies, even for myself.”

      “That’s not true, Hugh.” Payn’s voice was urgent. “All we are asking you to do is talk to us, about what you think might be true. We believe the people we know within the Order, and we believe what they tell us. But we cannot understand any of it, once we move outside the ritual rooms. The Order is a secret world, Hugh. Out here, in the real world, among people who are not of the Order, we don’t know who to trust … who to believe.”

      Hugh de Payens stood there in the meadow, his back to the sinking sun, and looked at his two friends through new eyes, seeing the doubt, confusion, and misery in their faces.

      “I have to walk,” he said. “I can’t СКАЧАТЬ