How To Lose Weight And Alienate People. Ollie Quain

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ artfully tousled and gelled to give the appearance of being ever so slightly wet, as if he could either have just leapt out of the shower or out of some dangerous rapids after rescuing a baby deer from drowning. His pectoral and stomach muscles are conspicuously nudging the fabric of a precisely washed-out grey T-shirt with the sleeves casually rolled up so that the full curve of each bicep is on display. The indigo-blue jeans he is wearing are also exquisitely distressed and tucked half in/half out of his scuffed hiking boots. Barb must employ a crack team of men with a similar physique to Maximilian to wear his brand-new clothes until they are sufficiently worn-looking for him to pop on.

      ‘Hi, Vivian. You look nice too.’ He gives me a pointed look and pauses as Barb goes over to the wing mirror to redo her lipstick. Then he lowers his voice. ‘About what happened at my house … I should have said something when Nicholas spoke to you like that, but I’m …’

      ‘An arsehole. As well as a pretentious wanker.’

      ‘No, well …’ He gives me one of his very slight smiles. ‘Sometimes. But not on that occasion. Look, this is going to make me sound like a tool, but before you arrived I was in a shitty mood about the stuff Parks printed … and then I got some bad news about the sequel for The Simple Truth. The producers are looking to cast someone else as Jack Chase.’

      ‘Yeah, I overheard. Your publicist doesn’t have the quietest voice.’

      ‘I was gutted. I still am … and before you have a pop at me, I am fully aware that there are worse things going on in the world than my inability to re-secure the lead role in an action franchise.’

      ‘Yeah? Name one …’

      He ignores me and continues. ‘The thing is, I don’t want to lose the part. I can’t. That character means so much to me. I made him. I am him. I believe in him.’

      I laugh. ‘I bet you had an imaginary friend as a child.’

      ‘Forget it,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘You clearly can’t give the back chat a rest for five minutes, can you? I was only trying to be honest with you.’

      I allow myself to stare at him again. The sincerity written over his face makes me uncomfortable. It’s not just Jack Chase he believes in … he believes in himself. I don’t let myself consider if that look has ever been written on my face.

      ‘Okay, okay … so, who might nick your role, then?’ I ask.

      ‘We’re hearing rumours that JP Goldstein wants Orlando Bloom.’

      ‘Ha! It’s not 2006 … since then it has been proven that Bloom only works well as part of an ensemble cast in a fantastical location with some form of historical weaponry at hand; bow and arrow, sword, sickle – delete as applicable. If he ever plays the lead in a modern setting the film flops.’

      Maximilian thinks for a second. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in one.’

      ‘Exactly, neither has the rest of the developed world. If you wanted to feel really confident, though, I suggest you take a look at Elizabethtown, which Orly stars in with Kirsten Dunst. There’s a scene in it where they speak to each other on the phone till dawn. It’s excruciating. They should have used it on a loop as one of the torture devices in a Saw movie.’

      Amusement flickers across Maximilian’s face. ‘Thanks for coming, Vivian, I appreciate it.’

      ‘That’s okay, but I haven’t come here because of you.’

      And that wasn’t more back chatting. I genuinely have not. Nor have I come – as Nicholas has assumed – because he goaded me into it. Nor have I come – as Barb has assumed – hoping that the event will serve as the defibrillator for my flat-lining career. Nor have I come because I’m not exactly thrilled with Luke’s plans for this evening. The reason I came is because it’s my birthday and therefore essential I distract myself as much as possible, to stop me thinking about my other birthday, that one, when it … the darkness … descended …

      Barb totters over and slaps Maximilian on the back. ‘Shake out the tension, Maxy. Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out …’

      ‘Calm down, Barb,’ he replies, as he hunches his shoulders up then releases them, in quick succession. ‘It’s not as if I haven’t done this sort of thing before. I’ll be fine.’

      ‘I know, but it’s been a while. You’re bound to be feeling the pressure. After the torture and isolation you suffered last year …’ She drifts off – a pained expression on her face, as if it wasn’t that long ago her client was unzipping an orange boiler suit after a stretch in Guantanamo Bay, not packing his jim-jams after a two-thousand-euro-per-night stay at a leading Swiss clinic.

      Nicholas opens the passenger door and nods at Maximilian. ‘Remember what I said, Fry. I want you looking suitably moved during the awards – some mild welling-up will suffice – and keep yourself in check if you bump into Parks. Oh, and get some decent shots with the kids. Go for the ones who have obviously been through the mill. Wheelchairs, braces, not quite complete re- constructive surgery … make every shot count.’ I choke and even Barb looks disapproving. ‘Lighten up, ladies,’ he snorts. ‘Isn’t that why he’s here?’

      A blonde woman from the events team dashes over to us. She is talking nineteen to the dozen into a mouthpiece hooked round her head.

      ‘Yup … currently in docking area. Yup, yup, yup … really? Already in. Great … yup. Great … yup. Yup! Yup, yup, no … not them. Cancelled. Pricks! No, no … she’s here. God, yes. Div-ine! Yup, collecting Maximilian Fry now. ETA meet and greet with charity reps approx. three minutes. Yup. Totally.’ She swings her mouthpiece to the side. ‘Hi, hi, hi

      Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

      Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

      Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

      Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAgEAYABgAAD/4R9TRXhpZgAATU0AKgAAAAgADgEAAAMAAAABBfQAAAEBAAMA AAABCSMAAAECAAMAAAADAAAAtgEDAAMAAAABAAEAAAEGAAMAAAABAAIAAAESAAMAAAABAAEAAAEV AAMAAAABAAMAAAEaAAUAAAABAAAAvAEbAAUAAAABAAAAxAEcAAMAAAABAAEAAAEoAAMAAAABAAIA AAExAAIAAAAcAAAAzAEyAAIAAAAUAAAA6IdpAAQAAAABAAAA/AAAASgACAAIAAgADqYAAAAnEAAO pgAAACcQQWRvYmUgUGhvdG9zaG9wIENTMiBXaW5kb3dzADIwMTQ6MDg6MTkgMTA6MDg6NDQAAAOg AQADAAAAAQABAACgAgAEAAAAAQAAAfSgAwAEAAAAAQAAAwsAAAAAAAAABgEDAAMAAAABAAYAAAEa AAUAAAABAAABdgEbAAUAAAABAAABfgEoAAMAAAABAAIAAAIBAAQAAAABAAABhgICAAQAAAABAAAd xQAAAAAAAABIAAAAAQAAAEgAAAAB/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAgAASABIAAD/7QAMQWRvYmVfQ00AAf/u AA5BZG9iZQBkgAAAAAH/2wCEAAwICAgJCAwJCQwR СКАЧАТЬ