Another Way to Fall. Amanda Brooke

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СКАЧАТЬ a complete surprise when her close working relationship with Alex at Bannister’s Kitchens and Bathrooms turned into something far more intimate, although, she noted, not so intimate that he was there by her side today.

      At first, his claim to have a phobia of hospitals had seemed a tad convenient but when she had seen the look of abject terror on his face on the one occasion he had visited her, she had been tempted to believe him and hadn’t pushed him since. ‘I should ring Alex,’ she said.

      ‘And I need to let Louise know what’s happening,’ Meg said, standing up and taking a tentative step away from the bed.

      ‘I’ll be fine, Mum,’ Emma replied. Louise was four years younger than Emma and was still considered the baby of the family but she hoped her sister would provide a better shoulder for her mum to cry on than she could. ‘But tell her she doesn’t have to come in. Friday nights at the bistro are too busy and she can’t afford to pay for extra cover.’

      ‘Now isn’t the time to worry about the bistro,’ Meg told her forcefully as she picked up her purse. ‘Louise is going to have to learn to stand on her own two feet.’

      ‘Yes, and she will,’ agreed Emma, as if prophesying her own doom. ‘But I’m still here and she’s still my little sister. I want to help her while I can.’ Meg nodded and her forced smile squeezed out the first tear, which they both dutifully ignored. ‘I meant what I said, Emma. You’re not on your own and I’m going to do my damnedest to get you through this. If Mr Spelling can’t help you beat this thing then I’ll find someone who can.’

      ‘You can’t fight this for me, Mum,’ Emma told her.

      Meg looked down, playing with a seam on her purse rather than meeting Emma’s gaze. She looked more vulnerable than Emma had ever seen her. ‘I know I can’t. I wish I could but I know I can’t.’

      ‘I need to be realistic and I don’t want to hold on to false hopes. Do the research if you must but in the meantime, let me deal with this my way. I want to make the most of the time I have left,’ Emma began but the words caught in her throat as she realized what she had said. ‘I mean the time I have before I start treatment, the treatment Mr Spelling is offering me.’

      Meg smiled through her pain. ‘All right, but I am insisting on one thing. I want you to move back home with me.’

      Heat rose in Emma’s chest, a toxic mix of panic and anger. She felt like she was being pulled back in time to when she had first been diagnosed. Back then she had been forced to give up a promising marketing career in London and return home to Liverpool and her mother’s care. She had stayed with her for nearly two years before summoning up the courage to move out. The thought of giving up her independence once again was too much to bear.

      ‘But your apartment isn’t big enough for all of us,’ Emma told her, playing for time as the dust settled on the latest bombshell to hit her that morning.

      At the moment, Louise was staying in Meg’s spare room, having rented out her own flat above the bistro when her business started to flounder six months ago. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not under any illusions that you and your sister could share a room,’ said Meg. ‘But right now your needs come first and I’ve already run the idea past Louise. She’s going to move out.’

      ‘So much for positive thinking,’ accused Emma as she realized her mum had been planning for the worst despite insisting that everything would be alright.

      Meg chose to ignore the comment. ‘You can’t manage on your own, Emma. There’s your medication to keep track of, not to mention the possibility you could have more seizures, and then there’s just the simple fact that someone needs to keep an eye on you, look out for any changes which you might not notice yourself. At the very least, you need help building up your strength so you’re strong enough to deal with, well, whatever awaits us.’

      ‘Me, whatever awaits me,’ corrected Emma. ‘I’m twenty-nine years old, Mum, and I’ve grown up a lot in the last few years. I’ve had to. I can look after myself and, besides, I don’t live alone.’

      Emma shared a house with Ally and Gina. She had known Ally from school and it had been her oldest and dearest friend who had been instrumental in securing her a job at Bannister’s as well as aiding her escape from her mum’s clutches. She would do all she could to help Emma stay in the house if it was what she wanted but Emma already knew that placing that kind of responsibility on someone’s shoulders was too much to ask of anyone, anyone that was except the one person who would always give her love and support unconditionally.

      ‘And I have Alex,’ Emma added but as the words slipped off her tongue in a last desperate attempt to make her case, she knew the argument had already been lost. The idea that Alex would be there for her wasn’t particularly credible when he was already conspicuous by his absence. ‘I’ll have to speak to the girls first. They’ll have to find another lodger.’ Meg shifted uneasily and Emma’s eyes widened in shock. ‘You’ve already spoken to them too?’ she gasped.

      ‘They said not to worry. You come first. We all want what’s best for you.’

      ‘I think you had better go and phone Louise,’ Emma said.

      In her wisdom, Meg nodded but said no more. She had won the argument but the tone in Emma’s voice suggested that the decision could still be overturned.

      As Emma watched her mum disappear down the ward, she desperately felt for her phone. Pulling it from her pyjama pocket, she imagined Alex anxiously waiting for her call.

      Emma’s phone had been switched to silent mode all morning. No telltale vibration had announced a missed call or text message but the empty call list still left her disappointed. With a heavy heart, Emma tapped briefly on the keypad and waited for the call to be answered.

      ‘Emma?’ Alex shouted over pounding music and inane chatter.

      ‘Where are you?’ Emma asked, as loudly as she dared. The ward was deathly silent other than the occasional groan from a fellow patient or the clatter of a hospital trolley.

      ‘We’re having lunch at the pub,’ he explained. ‘The latest sales figures are looking really good and Mr Bannister insisted. I couldn’t refuse.’ There was a pause as Alex waited for Emma’s response. Her silence prompted him to ask what she had expected to be the first thing on his mind. ‘But enough about me, I’ve been thinking about you all morning. How did it go? What’s the news?’

      Emma became acutely aware of how life beyond the confines of the hospital walls had been carrying on regardless – another blow to her bruised emotions. Her earth-shattering news hadn’t even caused a ripple. She felt a brief swell of anger as she imagined their celebrations, celebrations that she should be party to. She deserved a pat on the back as much as anyone but her anger was swiftly quashed by a more powerful wave of despair. There were worse things in life. ‘My tumour’s back,’ she said stoically.

      The background noise continued unaffected.

      ‘Alex? Are you still there?’

      ‘I’m sorry, Em. I really am,’ he said. ‘I feel so bad that I wasn’t there for you. I wanted to be with you, honestly I did.’

      ‘It’s alright,’ Emma said, surprising herself that she should be the one comforting him so quickly but that was so often the way. She hated her illness, not simply for what it was doing to her but the hurt it inflicted on those around her. ‘I’ll speak to you over the СКАЧАТЬ