The Baby Sleep Book: How to help your baby to sleep and have a restful night. Martha Sears

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СКАЧАТЬ style="font-size:15px;">       Rocking

       Wearing down in a sling

       Falling asleep independently

      Secondary

       Soft music

       Singing lullabies

       Dimmed light

       White noise

       Dummy or “cuddly”

       Patting

       Being walked

       Stroking (massage)

       Swinging

       Dancing in arms

       Scent of mother

       Verbal sleep cues (i.e. “nighty, night” …)

       Stories

       A combination of several

      Secondary associations are things such as soft music, dim lights, or stories that may help to calm a child and prepare her for sleep. Some parents will choose one primary sleep association as the foundation, and use several secondary associations to help. Others like to get baby used to several different primary associations for sleep so that they have more options for bedtime.

       Choosing sleep associations that fit your baby best

      Which primary sleep association is going to work best for your baby? You won’t know until you’ve tried them all. We suggest you go through a trial period of a few weeks to see what primary method of putting baby to sleep works the best. Try feeding baby to sleep a few nights, then try rocking or walking. Try snuggling with baby but not feeding to sleep. Involve Dad in the routine as well. Try a variety of methods until you learn what works best. Here are the main primary associations to consider as you decide what will work best in your family: feeding baby to sleep, feeding baby almost to sleep, lulling baby to sleep without feeding, and laying baby down to fall asleep independently.

      1. Breastfeeding or bottle-feeding your baby to sleep. Breastfeeding mums often find the easiest way to get their baby to sleep is by breastfeeding. In fact, in the first few weeks it is almost impossible to keep a baby awake at the breast for more than ten minutes. Baby is inevitably going to fall asleep feeding. Young babies also fall asleep very easily while bottle-feeding. Breastfeeding seems to be nature’s plan for comforting babies and helping them fall asleep. In fact, breast milk contains a sleep-inducing protein that helps lull baby into dreamland. As baby relaxes, so does mother, thanks to the hormones released when baby sucks at the breast.

      We recommend that you not place any limitations on your baby feeding to sleep during the early weeks of breastfeeding. In the first four to six weeks after birth, you are learning to read your baby’s hunger cues, your baby is learning to tell you when he is hungry, and your milk supply is adjusting to baby’s needs. Relax and enjoy the breastfeeding experience.

      A smart baby will get to love this feeding-to-sleep association and come to enjoy and expect it for as long as you breastfeed or use bottles. On the one hand, this means that you will be able to count on feeding as an easy way to get baby off to sleep. Even a baby who is fighting sleep will eventually succumb to the relaxing feelings that come from feeding. On the other hand, Mum’s breasts have to be there at bedtime, and again, when baby awakens in the middle of the night. Even if breastfeeding is your baby’s number one primary sleep association, you may want to help him learn other associations so you have other ways to put him to bed.

      In developing our sleep plan, we asked mothers of frequent night wakers, “For your next baby, what will you do differently?” The following answer, from our daughter Hayden (formerly the star of our Fussy Baby book and now a new mother), is representative of what many mums told us:

       I cherish those precious times of feeding Ashton to sleep, as I realize they will pass all too soon. Yet, for our next baby, I will not use just one way of putting her to sleep. I’ll do a variety of things so she’s not so set in only one way of falling asleep. This will include my husband, Jason, putting her to sleep now and then, so that when she’s older he can put her to sleep in his own way.

      Many parents tell us that feeding baby at bedtime and a couple more times during the night works very well for them. Baby is content, and mother manages to get enough sleep, because baby is sleeping close by and she can feed baby back to sleep without waking up completely herself. Maybe Mum wakes a little more often, but she feels that the benefits outweigh any inconvenience for her.

Some mums, however, have told us that at age six months, twelve months, even eighteen months, their babies continue to wake up several times (or more!) each night to feed, and that they can no longer cope with this much night-feeding. They wish that their babies would learn that there is more than one way to fall asleep. Well, babies can learn other ways to sleep, and we will share ways to teach a baby new sleep associations later in this book. For now, we want you to know that many mothers breastfeed their babies to sleep for many months, feed them during the night, and still manage to get enough rest. If you currently enjoy breastfeeding your baby to sleep, we don’t want to get in the way of a good thing. One of the lessons we want you to learn about parenting is to enjoy the moment. We want you to get attached to your baby without worrying about a lot of what-ifs. (If frequent night feeding is a top concern, you will welcome the tips offered in chapter 6.)

      2. Feeding baby ALMOST to sleep. Breastfeeding parents who want Dad to be able to put baby to sleep, as well as Mum, often teach their baby sleep associations beyond breastfeeding. Baby breastfeeds at bedtime, settles down, and starts to feel drowsy. Then Dad takes over while baby drifts off to sleep, using walking or rocking while patting baby’s back, and other methods, for easing the transition into sleep. (See “Try Our Favourite Nighttime Fathering Strategies”). Bottle-feeding parents can use this approach, too, if they don’t want their baby falling asleep with a bottle in her mouth. This approach helps baby learn that there are other ways to fall asleep besides relying on the comfort of sucking. When you use this approach with an older infant who no longer needs two or three nighttime feedings, baby may be less likely to wake up at night and she may be more willing to go back to sleep with just some gentle patting or snuggling from either Mum or Dad.

      The main reason for getting baby used to other sleep associations is to avoid mother burnout from frequent night feeding of the older infant (the most frequent sleep concern we encounter in our pediatric practice). In the wonderful world of night feeding, babies absolutely love going fully to sleep at mother’s breast and having instant access to this warm and cosy prop when they awake, and if it’s working for you please don’t change. Yet, it often helps to add the finishing touch of another prop after feeding to help baby go from being awake, but drowsy, through light sleep into a state of deep sleep. Try these finishing touches:

       Feed, then pat, sing, or rock to sleep. Instead of feeding baby completely to sleep, breastfeed until she starts to slow down her sucking and closes her eyelids, but she’s not yet asleep. Ease your nipple out of her mouth (see Martha’s de-latching trick), and then rock, pat, or sing her down until she is completely asleep.

       Mother nurse, plus father nurse. Near the end of the feeding, ease baby gently into father’s arms to add СКАЧАТЬ