The Baby Sleep Book: How to help your baby to sleep and have a restful night. Martha Sears

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СКАЧАТЬ href="#litres_trial_promo">page). Then, hopefully, when baby wakes up, she is more likely to accept Dad or another caregiver putting her back to sleep using the same finishing touch.

       Add a variety of secondary sleep associations. You can use any of the tools listed on page to lull your baby to sleep. If these techniques are not working and baby insists on feeding to sleep, consider that a baby who is not willing is not yet ready. Give your baby a few weeks for her sleep patterns to mature and then try again.

      3. Putting baby to sleep without feeding. Easier said than done. Because of the sleep association principle discussed above, if baby always falls fully asleep the same way, especially at the breast, she will expect, demand, or even scream for the same prop – usually the breast – to put her back to sleep. Occasionally try putting your baby down when he is sleepy, but not totally asleep (or feeding almost to sleep as mentioned in tip number two). Learning to fall asleep without feeding teaches him that it’s okay to go to sleep in other ways. Expect that your baby might fuss when you try to use some of these sleep-inducing tools listed on page. If he does fuss more than just a little, remember the parenting principle: don’t persist with a bad experiment. Yet, even if just once or twice a week you try to put your baby down partially asleep, at least you’ve planted a bit of the “I can do it” association.

      4. Putting baby down to sleep independently. Some parents like to set up a more independent sleep arrangement early on, in which, hopefully, baby learns to settle himself down to sleep without much parental interaction. They reason that a baby who learns to fall asleep on his own will also be able to settle himself back to sleep on his own when he wakes during the night. This type of sleep training has become popular with some parents because it results in a “low maintenance” baby at night. It has also received a great deal of criticism because of the amount of crying that baby experiences during the training phase. Babies are born with an innate need for comfort and security while falling asleep, upon waking, while going back to sleep, and in some cases even while sleeping.

      Ideally, a human caregiver supplies this comfort. Babies who sleep independently usually need to have some sort of secondary sleep association handy to calm them when they are falling asleep and when they awaken. They may need motion, such as rocking, swinging or bouncing movements of a cradle, swing, or baby hammock. They may depend on a dummy. Perhaps they learn to associate soft music or other sounds with sleep. Parents develop a routine around this sleep association that lulls baby into dreamland.

      varying baby’s sleep associations

      Get baby used to a variety of sleep associations at bedtime. The way your baby goes to sleep is the way she expects to go back to sleep when she awakens. When baby is older, you and your partner may want to take turns putting baby to sleep. Baby will learn Mum’s way of getting her to sleep (probably feeding) and Dad’s way of getting her to sleep (walking, “wearing down” in the baby sling, rocking and humming, and so on). For example, you may decide that you want to have your baby sleep in bed with you, but you are going to vary what you do to help her fall asleep. Some nights Mum will feed baby to sleep. Other nights Dad will soothe baby to sleep. You both can vary your soothing techniques. Some nights wear baby down to sleep by walking her around in a baby sling carrier. Other nights lull her to sleep in a baby swing. Mum has the option of not feeding baby to sleep and instead using Dad’s “wearing down” technique. You can even vary where baby sleeps. Some nights put baby in her cradle. On other nights put her in a cot and bring her into bed with you when she wakes. Or, share the whole night in your big bed together.

To train babies to fall asleep lying in a cot by themselves without any comforting sleep associations would be very tough on them. In chapter 10 you will learn why we discourage this “tough-love” approach to sleep training when it involves crying it out.

      Research shows that a sleep-training method that involves extended crying alone (without parent comforting) is not emotionally or physically healthy for babies – or for parents. Very easy-going babies may be able to learn to fall asleep independently with only minimal fuss, and we will offer suggestions on how this can be done in an appropriately sensitive way later in the book. Remember, our goal is for you to create stress-free sleep associations that result in a happy, healthy sleeper.

      We’ll now go through a list of favourite sleep associations to help your baby fall asleep happier.

       Laying baby down to sleep – transitioning tips

      Babies don’t come equipped with the type of sleep switch that you can suddenly turn off at naptime and bedtime. Yet, a transitioning-to-sleep ritual can be like a dimmer switch that gradually tunes out and turns down stimulation in baby’s environment. In sleep psychology, this is known as “fading” (like what happens when you are listening to a dull talk). You can’t expect a baby to go from his exciting waking life right into sleep. (You don’t fall asleep this way, do you?) There has to be a transition time. Here are some favourites that have worked in our families:

      Feeding down. If babies could vote, going off to sleep the warm way would win the Best Transition Award. A high-touch continuum from warm bath, to warm arms, to warm breast, to warm bed is a winning recipe for sleep. Nestle up next to your baby on your bed and feed her off to sleep. If you feed baby to sleep in your arms, be sure to wait until she is fully asleep before you try to transfer into her own bed. Once baby is asleep, try Martha’s de-latch technique (page) to learn how to ease away. (For related strategies, see “Night Feeding”, to learn why night feeding is such a special and effective sleep-inducer. See also “Try Our Favourite Nighttime Fathering Strategies” where Dad adds the finishing touch to mother nursing, page).

      Fathering down. “Nursing” implies comforting, not only breastfeeding. Fathers can and should “nurse” their babies down to sleep. Place baby in the neck nestle position (see illustration, page) and “dance” or rock your baby to sleep.

      One day after explaining the concept of sleep associations to a tired mother, she replied, “My baby has only one sleep association – ME!” If this is you, read – with your partner – chapter 8, “Twenty-three Nighttime Fathering Tips”.

Nestling down. Transferring the sleeping baby from your arms to his bed may prove to be tricky. An abrupt change from being nestled next to a parent’s body to lying alone on a mattress will awaken some babies. To ease your baby through this transition, try the intermediate step of lying down on your bed with your sleeping baby still in your arms. We call this the “teddy bear snuggle”. Once he’s sound asleep (see limp-limb sign opposite), you can ease yourself away and maybe even move him to his own bed.

      Sucking down. Sucking is soothing, yet the human pacifier can wear out. Besides the breast or bottle, try your finger or teach baby to find his own hand to suck on.

      Patting down. As you are easing baby into her bed, pat her chest or tummy gently and rhythmically, around 60 pats per minute (like your heartbeat). Gradually lighten and slow the patting as she succumbs to sleep. Add some verbal sleep cues (listed on page).

       As she was just about to sleep, I’d run my fingers across her face, over her eyes, and down her nose so that her eyes would close. СКАЧАТЬ