Managing to Make a Difference. Sternberg Larry

Чтение книги онлайн.

      Marry As Is; If You Get a Change, It's a Bonus

      A seminar participant once asked, “Do you mean my husband is never going to change?” In response to the question, “Can you tell me more?” she explained.

      “I'm very goal oriented and my husband is very laid back – a go-with-the-flow kind of guy. Last Saturday, he left the house at 10:00 AM to run some errands. He had six things he was going to do. He returned home at 2:00 PM and he had done only two! So I said to him, ‘What about the other four?’ ‘Don't worry,’ he replied, ‘I'll get them another time.’ Do you mean to tell me that is never going to change?”

      I asked, “Suppose it does not change? Would you still love him? Would you still want to remain married to him?”

      “Of course,” she replied, “but what can I do about this?”

      “Get off his back! Quit asking him to change. Accept him as he is.”

      Lesson

      Marry as is. If you get a change it is a bonus. When you quit asking people to change, you will change your relationships. And when you change your relationships you will change your life.

      Experiment: Quit Asking People to Change

      1. Identify two people you are asking to change – one in your personal life and one in your professional life.

      2. Just quit asking them to change. Accept them as they are.

      3. Notice what happens to your relationship.

      The General Manager and the Director of Sales

      I was teaching a seminar for a group of hotel general managers and one of them said, “Larry, help me apply what you're talking about to my director of sales. She is notoriously late to all meetings. And we have a standard that if we say a meeting that starts at eight, we do not mean 8:05.”

      This was a luxury hotel in which timeliness was a sign of excellence, precision, and attention to detail. Meetings started on time. The general manager was asking, “Given our culture and standards, what am I supposed to do about this? We consider that behavior disrespectful toward the other people in the meeting.”

      I said, “Well, tell me about the director of sales. How is she doing against the budgeted goals?”

      He replied, “She's blowin' 'em away.”

      “Okay,” I said, “how is she doing with her people? Is she a good mentor?”

      “Oh yeah,” he said, “she trains people, and we promote them out to other hotels. People are standing in line to get into this department to work for her.”

      I responded, “What's your problem?”

      “She's late to meetings!”

      I said, “Do you want a director of marketing who is on time to meetings, or do you want a director of marketing who blows away her revenue goals and develops great people for your organization?”

      He said, “I want it all!”

      Lesson

      With real human beings in the real world, you do not get it all. Everybody has aces and spaces. In both business and personal life, tolerance of shortcomings is required to cultivate close positive relationships.

      The Best Car Salesman

      Hank, a general manager of a large, successful Lincoln-Mercury dealership told me this story. For context, it is important to understand that Saturday is an “all-hands-on-deck” day for car dealers. Nobody gets Saturday off.

      Tom had been the number one salesman in this dealership for 18 years in a row. One day, he walked into Hank's office and said casually, “My son's playing football this year, so I'm taking Saturdays off to watch him play.” This was not a request.

      A seminar participant asked, “What did you do?” Without hesitation, Hank replied, “I gave him Saturdays off. He's my top guy.”

      Experiment: Tolerating Undesirable Behaviors

      1. The next time one of your best people exhibits an annoying behavior, ask yourself, “Is that Nice to Have or Need to Have?” Be honest.

      2. If it is Nice to Have, just let it go. Nobody is perfect. Accept him with all his aces and spaces.

      3. Focus on helping that person amplify his talents and strengths – the things that really make a difference in his productive performance.

      4. Do this with all of your direct reports for 90 days.

      5. Reflect on what you have learned. Do you see a difference in morale and engagement? How do you feel now that you are not asking people to change things that do not really matter all that much?

      The Chef with Long Hair

      I was on the pre-opening training team for The Ritz-Carlton Barcelona. My responsibilities СКАЧАТЬ