Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet Toys. Dénis Diderot

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СКАЧАТЬ by that silly fellow Eolipila." – "Oh! you are of a vivacity that surpasses imagination. Well then, this machine being applied to a Toy, renders it discreet in spite of its teeth." – "Can this be true, my dear?" "It is so said." "We must know it," replied Zelida, "and immediately too."

      She rang, one of her women appeared, and she sent for Frenicol. "Why not for Eolipila?" said Sophia. "Frenicol is less taken notice of," answered Zelida.

      The Toyman came away with the messenger. "Ah! Frenicol, are you there," said Zelida, "you are welcome. Make haste, my friend, to extricate two women out of cruel anxiety." – "What is the business, ladies? Would you please to have some rare Toys?" – "No, we have two already, and we would willingly" – "Part with them, I suppose. Pray, ladies, let me see them, I will take them, or we will make an exchange." – "You are mistaken, Mr. Frenicol, we have nothing to truck." – "Well, I understand you, you have some ear-rings, which you would desire to lose, so as that your husbands may find them in my shop." – "Not that neither; pray, Sophia, inform him of the matter." "Frenicol," continued Sophia, "we want two – What, don't you understand?" "No, madam: how would you have me understand, when you say nothing?" – "'Tis," said Sophia, "because when a woman is modest, it gives her pain to speak plain on certain things." "But yet," replied Frenicol, "she must speak plain. I am a Toyman, not a Conjuror." – "You must guess however." – "Faith, ladies, the more I look on ye, the less I comprehend ye. When a lady is young, rich, and pretty as you are, she is not reduced to artifice: moreover, I declare sincerely, that I sell them no longer. I have left the dealing in those baubles to young beginners in the trade."

      Our devouts found the Toyman's mistake so ridiculous, that they both burst out into a violent fit of laughter, which disconcerted him. "Permit me, ladies, to make my bow, and withdraw. You might well have spared yourselves the trouble of sending for me three miles off, to divert yourselves at my cost." "Stop, stop, friend," said Zelida, still laughing on. "That was not our intention. But by your misapprehending us, such ridiculous notions came into your head." – "'Tis in your power, ladies, to put juster into it. What is the business?" "Oh! Mr. Frenicol, let me laugh at ease, before I answer you."

      Zelida laugh'd till she panted for breath. The Toyman thought within himself that she had the vapors, or was out of her senses, and had patience. At length Zelida ceased. – "Well," said she, "the business relates to our Toys, our own Toys, do you understand me, Mr. Frenicol? To be sure you cannot be ignorant, that for some time past several Toys have prattled like magpyes: now we would be very glad that ours would not follow this bad example." "Ah! now I take it, that is to say," replied Frenicol, "that you want a muzzle each." – "Very right, you have hit it off truly. I have been told that Mr. Frenicol was no fool." "Madam, your goodness is very great. As to what you require, I have of all sorts, I go this moment to bring you some."

      Frenicol went accordingly: in the mean while Zelida embraced her friend, and thank'd her for her expedient: and I, says the African author, went to take a nap, waiting his return.

      CHAP. XVIII.

       The Toyman's return

      The Toyman returned, and presented the ladies with two muzzles of the best sort. – "Ah! mercy!" cried Zelida. "What enormous muzzles are these! And who are the unhappy women, whom these will fit? This is an ell long. Indeed, friend, you must certainly have taken measure by the Sultan's mare." – "Yes," said Sophia indolently, after having measured them with her fingers, "you are in the right; and there is but the Sultan's mare and old Rimosa, for whom these can do." – "I protest, ladies, that they are of the common size; and that Zelmaida, Zyrphila, Amiana, and a hundred other ladies, have of the same sort." "That is impossible," said Zelida. – "'Tis actually so however," replied Frenicol: "but they all said the same thing as ye have: and as they have, so may you undeceive yourselves by trying them on." "Mr. Frenicol may say what he will; but he shall never perswade me that this will fit me," said Zelida, "nor this me," said Sophia. "Let him shew us others, if he has any."

      Frenicol, who had often experienced that women are not to be converted on that article, shew'd them muzzles for the age of thirteen. "Well," cried both at the same time, "these are such as we want." "I wish they may prove so," whisper'd Frenicol aside. "How do you sell them?" said Zelida. "But ten ducats a piece, madam." – "Ten ducats, you forget yourself, Frenicol." – "Madam, that is the price in conscience." – "You make us pay for the novelty." – "I protest, ladies, 'tis but two sixpences for a shilling." "I must own they are neatly made, but ten ducats are a great deal of money." – "I'll abate nothing." – "We will go to Eolipila's." – "You may, ladies: but there are workmen and workmen, muzzles and muzzles." Frenicol held firm, and Zelida came to. She paid for the two muzzles, and the Toyman went back, fully perswaded that they would be too little for them, and would soon be returned on his hands for a fourth part of the price he received for them. He was mistaken. Mangogul not happening to come within reach of turning his ring on those two women, their Toys were not seized with the humor of talking louder than ordinary; and happily for them: for Zelida having tried her muzzle, found it too little by one half. However, she did not part with it, fancying that it would be pretty near as inconvenient to change it, as not to make use of it at all.

      These circumstances came to light from one of her women, who told them in confidence to her lover, who related them in confidence to others, who spread them all over Banza under the seal of secresy. Nor was Frenicol silent: the adventure of the devouts became public, and for sometime afforded employment to the calumniators of Congo.

      Zelida became inconsolable upon it. This woman, more to be pitied than blamed, conceived an aversion for her Bramin, quitted her husband, and shut herself up in a convent. As for Sophia, she threw off the mask, despised censures, patch'd and painted, frequented public places, and had adventures.

      CHAP. XIX.

       Seventh trial of the Ring.

      The stifled Toy

      Tho' the female cits of Banza doubted whether Toys of their rank would be honoured with the gift of speech; yet they all furnish'd themselves with muzzles. In Banza muzzles became as common, as a general court mourning in this country.

      Here the African author observes with astonishment, that neither the lowness of the price, nor the commonness of muzzles put them out of fashion in the Seraglio. "This once," says he, "utility got the better of prejudice." So trite a reflection was not worth the pains of repeating: but to me it seems as if it was the defect of all the ancient authors of Congo, to fall into repetitions; whether they thereby hoped to give a greater air of truth and facility to their productions; or that they were far from having as much fecundity of invention as their admirers ascribe to them.

      However that be, one day Mangogul, walking in his gardens, attended by his whole court, took the maggot to level his ring at Zelais. She was handsome, and suspected of several adventures: yet her Toy did no more than stammer, and utter'd only some few mangled words, which had no meaning, and which the Blasters interpreted as they thought fit. – "Pshuh!" says the Sultan, "here is a Toy that has a vast impediment of speech. Most certainly there must be somewhat that impedes its respiration." Wherefore he applied his ring more intensely. The Toy made a second effort to speak; and in some measure surmounting the obstacle, that stop'd its mouth, these words were heard very distinctly. "Alas! alas! – I am – I am – I am stifled. I can no more. – Alas! alas! I am stifled."

      Immediately Zelais found herself going: she grew pale, her neck swell'd, and she fell, with her eyes shut and mouth half open, between the arms of those who stood around her.

      Any where else Zelais would have been speedily relieved. 'Twas only debarrassing her of her muzzle, and allowing her Toy a freedom of respiration: but how to lend the helping hand in Mangogul's presence. "Quick, quick, physicians," cried the Sultan, "Zelais is dying."

      Some pages ran to the palace, and returned, with the СКАЧАТЬ