Enesetapjad. Birk Rohelend

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ vaid hingas ja elas tema kehas, tema nahal, tema riiete all. Zeni pea oli see, milles Pia mõtteid taga ajas, Zeni hooletult visatud lühikesed fraasid olid need, millest sai Pia uus elufilosoofia. Ja kummaline, seletamatu, rohekashall Zeni autoportree oli tema mõtetes päeval ja ööl.

      Mis see oli, millest Zen pildil mõtles?

      See oli nagu üksainus pikk ja imelik unenägu, millest Pia poleks kunagi ärgata tahtnud.

      Nende esimesest kohtumisest olid möödas kõigest mõned nädalad, kui nad istusid Pia juures üürikorteris ja vaatasid teineteisele otsa. Pehme küünlavalgus mängles nende nägudel.

      „Tead, mis on sinu juures imelik,” ütles Pia Zenile pinevalt otsa vaadates.

      „Ei tea. Mis siis?” küsis Zen mahedalt ja nihutas ennast diivanil lamavasse asendisse, vaadeldes tüdrukut poolsuletud laugude alt.

      „Sa oled minu jaoks vastassoost inimene.”

      Pia oli hetke vait. Zen pilgutas aeglaselt oma pikki ripsmeid.

      „Sa oled mees, kes on tegelikult naine,” ütles Pia ja imestas isegi oma julguse üle. „Minuga on vastupidi.”

      Zen naeratas kummaliselt. Tüdruk jätkas.

      „Sellepärast ongi meie vahel algusest peale mingisugune imelik tõmme olnud. Ma ei oska seda paremini seletada, aga ma tunnen, et ühendun sinuga sajaprotsendiliselt. Et iga konks minus leiab endale sinus haakepunkti.”

      Pia süda tahtis rinnust välja hüpata. Veri tagus meelekohtadel. Ta ei suutnud Zenile otsa vaadata.

      „Huvitav,” venitas Zen terve igaviku pärast. „Imelik, et sa kohe aru said. On piisavalt inimesi, kes suudavad minus näha vaid tavalist meest. See on solvav.”

      Zen kortsutas kulmu.

      „Ma ei ole kunagi päris mees olnud. Tead, ma hakkasin juba nelja-aastaselt tüdrukute riideid kandma. Salaja.”

      Poiss jäi korraks vait ja Piale tundus, et ta otsib midagi. Ta ei suutnud endiselt Zenile otsa vaadata.

      „See ei meeldinud mu emale eriti,” jätkas ta mõtlikult, tõusis ja süütas sigareti.

      Pia tundis ennast kohutavalt ebamugavalt.

      Ta lihtsalt ei osanud kuidagi olla. Mõttes tegi ta endale etteheiteid, et oli poisi siia kutsunud. Kuidas see üldse juhtunud oli? Pia ei mäletanud, et ta oleks kunagi varem midagi niisugust teinud. Zeniga käitudes oli ta justkui keegi teine. See teine käitus kuidagi väga otsustavalt ja kiiresti ja Pial ei jäänud üle muud, kui kasvava imestusega ennast kõrvalt vaadates näha, kuidas Zen mõjus talle nagu rasvane praad nälgasurijale. Ta lihtsalt ahmis teda endasse.

      Miks, põrgu päralt küll, oli Zenile nii raske otsa vaadata?

      Poiss seisis akna all. Tema sihvaka keha siluett joonistus aknast paistva tänavavalguse taustal tumedalt ja graveeris end tüdruku vikerkestale.

      Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

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