Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honour. W. Somerset Maugham

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      Madame Claude.

      [Apologetically.] Oh, but Lady Frederick, that was only in the way of business. I don't exactly remember what expressions I may have made use of——

      Lady Frederick.

      [Interrupting, as if the truth had suddenly flashed across her.] Ada! I do believe you came here to-day about my account.

      Madame Claude.

      Oh, no, my lady, I promise you.

      Lady Frederick.

      You did; I know you did. I see it in your face. Now that really wasn't nice of you. I thought you came as a friend.

      Madame Claude.

      I did, Lady Frederick.

      Lady Frederick.

      No, you wanted to dun me. I'm disappointed in you. I did think, after all the things I've had from you, you wouldn't treat me like that.

      Madame Claude.

      But I assure your ladyship....

      Lady Frederick.

      Not another word. You came to ask for a cheque. You shall have it.

      Madame Claude.

      No, Lady Frederick, I wouldn't take it.

      Lady Frederick.

      What is the exact figure, Madame Claude?

      Madame Claude.

      I—I don't remember.

      Lady Frederick.

      Seven hundred and fifty pounds, seventeen and ninepence. You see, I remember. You came for your cheque and you shall have it.

      [She sits down and takes a pen.

      Madame Claude.

      Now, Lady Frederick, I should look upon that as most unkind. It's treating me like a very second-rate establishment.

      Lady Frederick.

      I'm sorry, but you should have thought of that before. Now I haven't got a cheque; how tiresome.

      Madame Claude.

      Oh, it doesn't matter, Lady Frederick. I promise you it never entered my 'ead.

      Lady Frederick.

      What shall I do?

      Fouldes.

      You can write it on a sheet of paper, you know.

      Lady Frederick.

      [With a look, aside to him.] Monster! [Aloud.] Of course I can. I hadn't thought of that. [She takes a sheet of paper.] But how on earth am I to get a stamp?

      Fouldes.

      [Much amused.] I happen to have one on me.

      Lady Frederick.

      I wonder why on earth you should have English stamps in Monte Carlo?

      Fouldes.

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