The Greatest Plays of William Somerset Maugham. Уильям Сомерсет Моэм

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      Jenny.

      [Looking at John and suddenly recognising him.]

      Well, I never! If that isn't old John Halliwell. I didn't expect to see you. This is a treat.

      John.

      How d'you do?

      Jenny.

      What are you doing here?

      John.

      I've been having a cup of tea with Basil.

      Jenny.

      [Looking at the tea-things.] D'you always drink out of three cups at once?

      John.

      My wife has been here—and her sister.

      Jenny.

      Oh, I see. Fancy your being married. How d'you like it?

      John.

      All right, thanks.

      [Basil pours out a cup of tea, and during the following speeches gives Jenny milk and sugar and cake.

      James.

      People say it wants a bit of gettin' used to.

      John.

      Mr. Bush, you're a philosopher.

      James.

      Well, I will say this for myself, you'd want to get up early in the morning to catch me nappin'. I didn't catch your name.

      John.

      Halliwell.

      James.

      'Alliwell?

      John.

      [Emphasising the H.] Halliwell.

      James.

      That's what I say—'Alliwell. I knew a fellow in the meat trade called 'Alliwell. Any relation?

      John.

      I don't think so.

      James.

      Fine business 'e 'ad too. There's a rare lot of money to be made out of meat.

      John.

      I dare say.

      Jenny.

      [To John.] It is a long time since I've seen you. I suppose you've quietened down now you're a married man. You were a hot 'un when you was a bachelor.

      James.

      [Facetiously.] Don't make 'im blush, Jenny. Accidents will 'appen in the best regulated families. And boys will be boys, as they say in the Bible.

      John.

      I think I must be off, Basil.

      James.

      Well, I'll be toddlin' too. I only come in just to say 'ow d'you do to my future brother-in-law. I'm a fellow as likes to be cordial. There's no 'aughtiness about me.

      Basil.

      [Politely, but not effusively.] Oh; won't you stay and have some tea?

      James.

      No, thanks. I'm not much of an 'and at tea; I leave that to females. I like something stronger myself.

      Jenny.

      [Remonstrating.] Jimmie!

      Basil.

      I have some whisky, Mr. Bush.

      James.

      Oh, blow the Mister and blow the Bush. Call me Jimmie. I can't stand ceremony. The way I look on it is this. We're both of us gentlemen. Now, mind you, I'm not a fellow to praise myself. But I will say this: I am a gentleman. That's not self-praise, is it?

      John.

      Dear me, no. Mere statement of fact.

      James.

      Well, as I was saying, I know I'm a gentleman. It's a thing you can't 'elp, so what's the good of being proud about it? If I meet a chap in a pub, and he invites me to have a drink, I don't ask him if he's a Lord.

      Basil.

      But you just take it.

      James.

      Well, you'd do the same yourself, wouldn't you?

      Basil.

      I dare say. But will you have a drink now?

      James.

      Oh, bless you, I know what it is to be engaged. I don't want to disturb you canary-birds. Me and 'Alliwell 'll go and have a gargle round the corner. I see you've got a public nice and 'andy. [To John.] I suppose you're not above goin' in there now and again, eh?

      Jenny.

      [With a laugh.] He came into the "Golden Crown" every day of his life, and chance it!

      John.

      I'm afraid I'm in a great hurry.

      James.

      'Ang it all, one's always got time to have a drop of Scotch in this life.

      Basil.

      [To James, handing him the box.] Well, take a cigar with you.

      James.

      [Taking and examining one.] If you are so pressing. Villar y Villar.... What do they run you in a hundred?

      Basil.

      They were given to me, I really don't know what they cost. [He lights a match.] Won't you take the label off?

      James.

      Not if I know it. I don't smoke a Villar y Villar every day, but when I do, I smoke it with the label on.

      Jenny.

      [Laughing.] Jimmie, you are a caution!

      John.

      [Shaking hands with Jenny.] Good-bye and—my best wishes.

      Jenny.

      Thanks. You didn't expect I'd marry Basil when I СКАЧАТЬ