Thrills of a Bell Boy. Samuel E. Kiser

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      I.

       Table of Contents

      GEE! There’s a call from seven-forty-eight—

      That’s Miss Le Claire; she wants some ice, I’ll bet;

      She stars in “Mrs. Middleton’s Regret.”

      And when you mention peaches—say, she’s great!

      If I could marry her I guess I’d hate

      To have to do it—nit! I’d go and get

      A plug hat and a fur-trimmed coat and let

      The guy that’s managin’ her, pay the freight.

      They say she gets a hundred dollars per;

      I’d like to draw that much a year or two.

      They’d know I’d been around when I got through.

      I wish the dude that comes here after her

      Was in my place and me in his—I’d stir

      Things up around this town. I wouldn’t do

      A thing but buy her everything I knew

      She didn’t have but might be wishin’ fer.

      She rung fer me to get some stamps, and when

      I took them up she says, “Just wait a bit.”

      She put one on a note and handed it

      To me to mail—and he come in just then

      And grabbed the thing—I’ve heard of crazy men,

      And I know when it’s up to me to quit:

      She had him goin’ groggy when I lit,

      But, blame the luck, they’ve made it up again.

      II.

       Table of Contents

      IF I could have my choice I wouldn’t be

      The main guy of a kingdom—nix fer me.

      I’d only wish that I could be as great

      As one of these gay boys from up the State

      Imagines that we think he is when he

      Tilts back his hat and lights his cigarette

      And does the pouter-pigeon act; I’d let

      Them have their thrones if I could be as grand

      As these boys think they are when they “run down”

      On business trips and let their chests expand

      And act as though they’d come to buy the town.

      The minute one of them gets in he shies

      Around the telegraph girl, makin’ eyes

      And wantin’ to know what it costs to send

      Ten words to Saugatuck or Brady’s Bend,

      Or dictates to the shorthand girl and tries

      To make her think he’s Mike from Up-the-Crick—

      It’s easy work to spot these Johnnies quick:

      They try СКАЧАТЬ