Rogues and Vagabonds. George R. Sims

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СКАЧАТЬ keep the back files of a sporting paper from injury, is on a par with the other malicious assertions above referred to.

      Limpet junior doesn’t trouble the firm much. He used to come down occasionally about eleven, put the kettle on in his private office, and as soon as the water was warm enough he would wash his hands and go home again. One day he opened a letter marked ‘Immediate,’ and put it into his pocket in order not to forget it. He wore the same coat again when he went to Boulogne, about six months afterwards, and he found the letter when he wanted a bit of paper to write an I O U for £50 on, for a gentleman who had been good enough to play cards with him at the Establishment. He posted it home with praiseworthy promptitude. Grigg and Limpet were sued for negligence in not attending to that letter, and it cost them £200 to stay the proceedings. After that the partners agreed that the less Limpet junior attended to business, the more likely he was to be worth the salary he drew.

      Grigg and Limpet are sitting opposite each other to-day in room B. All the rooms are lettered, and this has a great effect upon clients. Faney a business so extensive that the very rooms have to be lettered for fear they should get mixed!

      ‘Time?’ says Grigg, looking up again.

      ‘Ten past,’ answers Limpet. ‘Time they were here,’

      Limpet always says more than Grigg.

      A clerk comes in.

      ‘Dr. Birnie, if you please, sir.’

      ‘Room C,’ says Grigg.

      Presently another clerk comes in.

      ‘Mrs. Turvey, please, and a little girl.’

      ‘Room D,’ says Limpet.

      A third clerk enters.

      ‘Mr. John Symonds.’

      ‘Room F,’ says Grigg.

      The clerks having retired to do their bidding, the partners sit still for a few minutes.

      ‘Time?’ says Grigg.

      ‘Twenty-past,’ says Limpet. ‘I think that will do.’

      Clients calling on Grigg and Limpet are always kept waiting from ten minutes to a quarter of an hour. Lawyers with such an enormous business are never disengaged at a moment’s notice.

      Grigg goes to the side of the room where several speaking-tubes are arranged. These are lettered A, B, C, D, E, and F Malice says they all communicate with the same office; but what will not malice say?

      ‘Show all parties to the Egerton case in,’ says Grigg, speaking up the tube.

      Presently the three clerks appear, bringing in the doctor, Mrs. Turvey and Topsy, and Mr. Symonds, who, judging from his appearance, is a seafaring man.

      Grigg and Limpet bow and motion the visitors to the seats. Grigg bows to the ladies, Limpet to the gentlemen.

      ‘Mr. Limpet,’ says Grigg, ‘explain matters.’

      ‘Ahem, ’says Limpet, ‘we have thought it better, Mr. Grigg and myself, to ask you to attend here to-day together in re Egerton. I should say in the matter of our client, Mr. Gurth Egerton—our late client, I fear I should say. Before taking any steps, we have thought—Mr. Grigg and myself have thought—that it would be better to hear the evidence in this matter, in order that we—in order that Mr. Grigg and myself might, if possible, arrive at some definite conclusion. Ahem, ahem.’

      ‘Will,’ said Grigg.

      ‘Exactly. Thank you. The will. The will of the—I fear I must say late?’

      ‘Say late,’ put in Grigg.

      ‘Exactly; we will say late, as Mr. Grigg suggests. It is better. It is a sad description, but I fear a truthful one.’

      Mr. Limpet looked at Mr. Grigg to see if any emotion was advisable.

      ‘No relatives,’ muttered Grigg.

      ‘Exactly. There are fortunately no relatives of the deceased here, so that we can discuss this matter calmly, without yielding to that very natural emotion which in cases of this sort, ahem—is, ahem—is, ahem——’

      ‘Usual,’ suggested Grigg.

      ‘Exactly, which is usual. The will, as you are aware, was left in our possession when the, I fear I must say deceased, gentleman set out to travel abroad for the—ahem—for the——’

      ‘Benefit of his health,’ said Grigg.

      ‘Exactly, the benefit of his health. Alas! his health was not benefited, for I fear that he is now—that he is now——’

      ‘Bottom of the deep blue sea,’ suggested Grigg.

      ‘Exactly. As Mr. Grigg poetically puts it, at the bottom of the deep blue sea. Of course, in cases of this sort there is always a difficulty to prove death. There is always a doubt.’

      ‘Beggin’ your pardon, cap’en,’ interrupted the seafaring man, ‘but I’m qualified to speak to that there point. There ain’t any doubt about it at all. Them as goes to the bottom of the sea where the Boney’s Paw went down is gone to Davy Jones right enough.’

      ‘Exactly. Mr.—Mr. Symonds, thank you. But that is not the point. You see—excuse the little humour—we can’t call Mr. Jones as a witness. Ha, ha!’

      ‘Ha, ha!’ groaned Grigg. Grigg’s laugh was exactly the same as his groan.

      ‘There is a doubt in law, I say; but that, of course, we shall be able to get over. We shall prove the loss of the vessel; we shall ascertain that Mr. Egerton was on board; that he was left on board; that he is not among the survivors, who can all be accounted for; and that, as a matter of fact, he is, as Mr. Grigg very sympathetically and, I may say, very poetically observed, at the bottom of the deep blue sea—in other words, that he is dead. You, Mr. Symonds, I believe, were the last man to leave the vessel when the boats put off? ‘I were, cap’en.’

      ‘And you left Mr. Egerton on board?’

      ‘There was a passenger o’ that name, and I left him aboard.’

      ‘Both boats were picked up, I believe, by a passing vessel on the second day?’

      ‘They was,’ answered Mr. Symonds.

      ‘And you are quite certain the passenger known as Mr. Egerton was not on board either of the boats?’

      ‘Sartin.’

      ‘I think, Dr. Birnie, that is satisfactory?’ said Limpet, turning to the gentleman addressed.

      ‘Quite,’ said the doctor, with a bow.

      ‘Dr. Birnie, I should say, that all present may understand the position, is left sole executor of our—I fear I must say, in fact, I will say—our late client’s will. He therefore is interested in СКАЧАТЬ