Heart's Haven. Lois Richer

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СКАЧАТЬ when this was available for free that I guess I thought—” She heaved a sigh, closed her eyes and shook her head. “Never mind. I’m sorry I interfered with your plans.”

      Now he felt like a first-class jerk.

      “I didn’t actually have any plans. Yet. I’m very happy you found this opportunity for us, Cassidy.” Ty caught himself waiting for the glow to return to her face.

      “You’re sure?” Who could blame her for being confused?

      “Positive.” He took a deep breath and said what he should have said in the first place. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a little awed by the responsibility of getting this place up and running. My sister, Gail—” he struggled to find the right words “—she had a very precise idea of what she wanted the Haven to be like. She spent a lot of time working in this community as an outreach worker. She chose this place because our brother died near here.”

      “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

      “You couldn’t have. As much as I can, I intend to make her dream come true, preferably without spending all the money Elizabeth provided us before we open the doors. Most of the time I’m in way over my head, just trying to stay afloat. And it scares me to death. I guess I took my fears out on you.” Forcing that admission cost Ty but he pressed on. “I sincerely apologize.”

      Cassidy’s body language told Ty she wasn’t ready to accept his apology quite yet. He tried again.

      “If it seems like I’m a little overprotective about the place, it’s probably because I am. Organizing a shelter—” He held out his hands, palms facing upward. “It’s not my area of expertise and I don’t want to make any mistakes. I’m feeling my way through.”

      “What is your field?”

      “Counseling. I’m a psychologist. I used to work in the military with the soldiers serving in Iraq.”

      “You don’t now?” Curiosity lit up her expression. “Why is that?”

      “I quit.” He struggled to find words that would make sense of a situation that even now confused him. “Shortly after I came back, Gail had a massive coronary.”

      At first he’d considered coming here charity work, but the longer he concentrated on the Haven, the more Ty began to imagine Gail’s vision coming alive for the residents of this neighborhood—for people like Donnie, who had fallen through the cracks.

      In running the Haven Ty saw himself finding his way back to counseling, to helping people improve their lives, work he’d loved.

      At least that was his hope.

      The truth was that he’d latched onto the Haven like a life preserver because he never again wanted to relive the gut-wrenching horrors he’d seen, terrors he still dreamed of every night.

      And of course there was Jack. Ty hoped seeing his mother’s dream come true would help Jack get past the grief that still showed in his eyes, help the two of them bond.

      But that wasn’t the entire truth.

      In reality, Ty desperately needed the myriad details of this place to keep from panicking about raising a twelve-year-old boy alone.

      “Losing your sister must have been devastating, both to you and to Jack,” Cassidy murmured. “Especially for you, having also lost your brother. I’m so sorry.”

      That she could be so considerate, especially after his temper tantrum, touched Ty.

      “Thank you. It was difficult. But knowing her vision for the Haven is going to become real—that helps a lot.”

      “Would you mind telling me what that vision was? How it started?”

      Ty closed his eyes, raked a hand through his hair as loss squeezed a grip around his heart.

      “Gail and Elizabeth Wisdom were friends for years. They sat on lots of charity boards together.”

      In fact, it was Gail who’d introduced Ty to Elizabeth. He recalled the Christmas benefit as if it were yesterday. He’d attended just before he’d been shipped out and found himself caught up in their projects, in the joy they took lending help where it was needed. Those had been happy days.

      LaterTy had been glad of the connection when he’d contacted the Wisdom Foundation about making Gail’s dream come true.

      “The two of them were like twin caped-crusaders, hunting for things that needed to be done to make the world a better place, and tackling them till they got the results they were after.” He shook his head ruefully. “The Haven grew from an idea Gail had at her last high school reunion. Our brother died of a drug overdose in his senior year. When Gail found out this school was going to be demolished, she decided to use it to make this neighborhood better for the people who live here.”

      “She sounds very generous.”

      Good thing Jack wasn’t here. Ty longed to talk about his sister, but since Jack hadn’t yet opened up about losing his mother, Ty wasn’t sure exactly how to broach the subject. So he kept silent, never speaking about the sister he’d loved, allowing Jack time to deal with his grief in his own way.

      Someday he hoped to share all the funny stories from his childhood. Someday he’d pull out the old photos, talk to Jack about Donnie, how he’d gotten messed up because he made the wrong choices. Someday Ty and Jack would laugh, push past the strained relationship they now shared.

      “I’m sorry if it’s painful—”

      Ty shook his head.

      “Gail had a very successful career in real estate. She left it to work in this community as an outreach worker because she felt that God had blessed her so much she had to share, to make a difference in the world. And for several years she did.”

      “I see.”

      Ty breathed deeply, forced his shoulders to relax and his fingers to unclench.

      “The Haven was Gail’s last dream. I made myself a promise that I’d see my sister’s final project through to completion.”

      Silence stretched between them for several moments. Ty felt Cassidy’s gray gaze studying him but he kept his head down, his focus on the floor, because he didn’t want her to see how much that promise was costing him.

      Nobody knew of his long nights lying awake, trying to recall if he’d dotted all the i’s, crossed all the t’s, missed any detail that would jeopardize the project. That’s why he didn’t go to bed till long after midnight. That’s why he’d been up at four this morning.

      Well, one reason why.

      He spent precious hours deliberating over every decision, desperate to avoid the mistake that would spoil Gail’s dream. But even when he finally made a choice, Ty could never be sure it was the right one. That and the constant nightmares were just a small part of the legacy post-traumatic stress disorder had bequeathed him—chronic worry and uncertainty. PTSD was the primary reason he’d left the military, left counseling to someone else, someone who wasn’t dragging about his baggage.

      Eventually СКАЧАТЬ