Shadows from the Past. Lindsay McKenna

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ shook his head. “No, you two go ahead. There’s not much room in that makeshift office you moved into your bedroom,” and he smiled.

      Understanding, Kam got to her feet. Laura picked up her coffee and they went up the stairs to her room.

      Typing in the two words as she and Laura sat close to one another before the laptop, Kam saw a slew of listings from an archival Web site that Laura used. She quickly strolled through the possibilities and then went to the next set of ten. For the next hour, Laura went through decades of images on the site.

      Finally, when Kam was losing hope, Laura gave her a smile.

      “Look at this,” Laura said, pointing a finger at one entry. “Elkhorn Ranch, Jackson Hole, Wyoming.” She clicked on the link and immediately a Web page for a dude ranch came up.

      Kam gasped. “There’s the elk symbol from his bolo tie!” The exact symbol from her photograph was emblazoned in the upper left-hand corner. Her heart started galloping once more.

      “Hmmm,” Laura murmured, running her finger over the pad to get the pointer to the left in a column. She clicked on About Us.

      Kam saw a multigenerational family portrait. Her breath hitched. In the back, the tallest figure standing in the middle of the family was the man in her photo, only older. Graying at his temples, he still wore a handlebar mustache and a black Stetson cowboy hat. His long arms were wrapped around his wife and an older woman. Two teenage children sat in front of them. An ache built in her chest. “His name is Rudd Mason,” she read out loud in a hushed tone.

      “And he owns this dude ranch,” Laura rapidly read below the family portrait. “Wife is Allison Dubois-Mason, children Regan and Zach. The other woman is Rudd’s mother, Iris Mason.”

      “It says he owns a fifty-thousand-acre family ranch surrounded by the Grand Teton National Park,” Kam murmured, rapidly devouring the rest of the information. “He runs an organic beef herd and sells nationally to restaurants and food stores who want the clean meat.”

      “Iris Mason sounds like a real interesting woman,” Laura noted, tapping her finger to the paragraph below. “She’s a herbalist and sells her flower essences worldwide.” Laura glanced over at Kam. “Remember how much you love gardening? You even loved weeding.”

      Kam nodded. Her favorite thing growing up had been helping Laura plant, weed and grow the vegetables in their huge garden out back. “If Rudd is my father then Iris could be my grandmother. That’s probably where I got the gardening gene.”

      “Anything’s possible,” Laura said. “There are so many questions yet to be answered. Rudd’s obviously got a family. What if he had an affair with your mother and his wife never knew about it? Or you?”

      Mouth quirking, Kam whispered, “I was already thinking that myself.”

      Patting her hand, Laura said, “One step at a time. Look, there’s a help-wanted page.” She clicked on it.

      Kam’s eyes widened. “Wow, look at this, Mom.” She put her finger on the screen. “Caregiver wanted with medical background to attend elderly person at the ranch. Must be an EMT or paramedic or registered nurse.”

      “Good thing you’re a certified EMT,” Laura said, giving her a quick smile. “Maybe you could be hired and just go in and check them out?”

      “I have cold sweats at the thought of walking up to Rudd Mason and saying I’m possibly his daughter and can I get a DNA test to prove it,” Kam admitted.

      “I know. I’ve often wondered how you would handle that,” Laura confided. “It’s got to be scary for you.”

      “It is. It’s my biggest fear. What if I walk up to this man and say, ‘Hey, I’m your daughter. Did you want me in your life? Do you even know I existed? Will you let me into your life? Do you love me? Did you ever love me?’” Shaking her head, Kam felt tears coming to her eyes. Looking down at her clasped hands in her lap, she said in a wobbly voice, “Oh, Mom, I’m just so scared.”

      Placing her arm about her, Laura whispered, “I know you are. Maybe if you tried to get a job there, it would help answer some of your questions on your own. It would give the Mason family time to get to know you, too, before you sprang the big news.”

      Nodding, Kam admitted, “It’s a coward’s way out, I know, but I just don’t have the courage to go up to him at this point. For all I know, he’s not my father. Just a cowboy who was at the conference who met my mother and by chance, got into this photo just because he was at their booth at the time it was shot.”

      “It could be that simple,” Laura acknowledged. “If you could gain his trust, it might make it easier for you eventually to approach him.”

      “That’s what I was thinking.” Kam wiped her eyes. “I just wish I had the gumption it took just to call him up or write him an e-mail.”

      Laura shrugged. “You could. But what if he knows you’re out there and doesn’t want this blown up because of his family? Maybe there are family dynamics in play we don’t know about. And maybe going in as a hired person at the ranch would give him an opportunity to get to know you over time. And if he is your father, then a lot of the way is smoothed because he will know you. It will lessen the shock of finding out you’re the lost daughter coming back to the family. At least he’ll know you to be a decent, kind and intelligent person.”

      Kam closed her eyes and hung her head. “What would I do without you two? It has taken me so long to work up to this, and now you’re helping me once again.”

      “Kammie, all we want is for you to be happy. We feel like your life has been on hold because you haven’t wanted to investigate your origins. We’ve seen you walk away from several developing relationships. We felt that because this basic, fundamental question had not been answered yet, you couldn’t commit to one.”

      “You’re right about that.” Kam looked up and then over at Laura. “I don’t want to fall in love with a man and have a child who doesn’t know about my life and background. I don’t ever want my child to go through what I’m going through, Mom.”

      “We understand,” Laura said, patting her shoulder. “This is a good step to take. Just remember that Rudd Mason might not be your father, though he’s the most obvious lead right now. And we may not ever know who your real father is….”

      “I can’t even go there, Mom. It just hurts too much.” An intense sadness flooded her. “If I can earn Rudd Mason’s trust and situate myself into his family as a caregiver, that’s as good as it gets for now. Maybe after this, I’ll sit down and talk to him privately about who I really am.”

      “I hope he doesn’t feel hoodwinked by you coming like a wolf in sheep’s clothing,” Laura said. “That’s the real caveat in your approach, Kam. He may think you sneaked into his family to cause problems.”

      “I thought of that, too. There just isn’t an easy way to do this, Mom. No matter how I break the news, it’ll be messy.”

      “Well,” Laura said comfortingly, “apply for the position and send the e-mail. See if you can get hired. If you get hired, I’d take that as a sign from the universe that this is the way you should go.”

      Kam watched as Laura stood up and pulled СКАЧАТЬ