Baby, I'm Yours. Carrie Weaver

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СКАЧАТЬ him how much I loved him.”

      “He knew. You were the world to him.”

      Becca was at risk of losing her composure if they discussed Gabe a moment longer. Trying to change the subject, she said, “Hey, you and Jim provided him with an example of the perfect marriage.”

      “That takes work as you well know. Speaking of work, I better call Jim in from the workshop so he can help bring in the groceries.”

      “Let him continue with his project. I only had these two bags.”

      “It’s good for him to feel needed.”

      Becca patted Irene’s arm. “I know. That’s why I’m grateful for his help. But today it’s not necessary.”

      “Don’t feel you have to do everything yourself. Accept help when people offer.”

      Becca turned away and pretended to check the contents of the grocery sack. “I do.”

      “Only when you feel you have no other choice.”

      Glancing up, she found Irene watching her. “It’s…hard. Gabe and I were a team, a unit. Now, I’m not sure what I am.”

      “You’re a woman who has had a terrible loss. A woman who works hard to keep it together on her own. Sometimes, accepting help is the greatest gift you can give someone you love.”

      Becca would have agreed with her, as long as it was someone else on the receiving end. Helping Gabe’s parents was as much a part of her as taking care of her children. And she would do the same thing for her father and his wife when they weren’t able to live alone anymore.

      But asking for help was one thing Becca couldn’t seem to do. Except for asking—no, demanding—that Rick make it all go away for a few moments the night of Gabe’s funeral.

      Becca’s gaze was drawn to the tiled floor where she’d made love to Rick. Her stomach protested.

      “Are you okay, dear?” Irene asked.

      “Yes. I was just thinking…” And hoping guilt wasn’t written all over her face, like a scarlet A. She knew Irene would be horrified if she ever found out. The thought of losing her respect made Becca’s heart ache.

      But no one would ever know. Rick had promised.

      Becca would be left to wrestle with her conscience alone. In this very kitchen, she’d managed to betray not only Gabe, but Rick. How would she ever forgive herself for such a huge abuse of trust?

      When she contemplated what Rick probably thought of her, Becca inwardly cringed.

       It didn’t matter.

      Who was she kidding? It mattered a great deal. She didn’t want to lose his friendship over a moment of insanity. It was almost a compulsion these days to keep the people who’d known and loved Gabe as close as possible. As if, in some way, it kept Gabe close, too.

      A WEEK LATER, Rick waited in the booth at Coco’s Restaurant. His reason for inviting Becca had been purely practical. They needed to discuss business in a neutral setting. The office was out, because he didn’t want to spook the employees if anyone heard about belt-tightening. And Becca’s house was definitely not a good idea.

      He stood as she approached the table, admiring the vibrant swing of her blond hair, her confident stride and ready smile. The lines of strain were barely noticeable. But the fact that she’d lost weight was readily evident and he worried.

      That was the other reason for inviting her to lunch. At least he was sure she’d eat one good meal today instead of forgetting to take care of herself while she looked after everyone else.

      Rick grasped her hands and kissed her quickly on the cheek. “Hi. No problem with traffic?”

      “Not a bit. This was a great idea.” Her eyes held a trace of wariness, though.

      He wondered if she would think it was such a good idea when he was finished imparting his news.

      “How are the kids doing?” he asked as they sat down.

      “It depends on the hour. They seem to take turns having meltdowns in their own way. It’s exhausting trying to gauge who’s having a hard time and what I should do to make it right.”

      “Not a whole lot you can do. Except listen and let them know you’re there.”

      “But I’m their mother. I should be able to offer words of wisdom that make their pain bearable. I’ve spouted the ‘we’re in this together’ stuff until they’re tired of hearing it. And to be honest, grief is a pretty solitary pursuit. No matter how badly I want to be there for them, a lot of it they’re going to have to work out in their own time in their own way.”

      Rick nodded. “Same goes for you.”

      “The children have to be my focus right now. I don’t have the luxury of falling to pieces.”

      “I remember when Kayla was a teen. It made me feel so helpless when I realized that she would ultimately have to find her own way. My ex-wife and I just stood there with our hearts on our sleeves, hoping like crazy she’d ask us for guidance. And when she didn’t, providing it anyway.”

      “You and Valerie did a good job. Kayla seemed like a nice girl the few times she’s come to the office to visit.”

      “Yes, I don’t see her nearly often enough. But she’s got her own life. I guess I should be grateful she got a job in Akron after she graduated from NYU.”

      Becca reached across the table and touched his arm. “I’m sorry. I seem to have lost every ounce of tact I once had. She’s just doing the usual separation thing, trying to be an adult.”

      Awareness rippled through him, reminding him she had once touched him in a more intimate way.

      As if sensing his thoughts, Becca quickly withdrew her hand.

      The waitress arrived and took their order and the awkward moment passed.

      “Tell me the real reason for the lunch invitation.”

      Rick cleared his throat. “There are some changes around the office I need to discuss with you.”

      “Changes?”

      “Personnel. I brought the books for you to take home and look at this evening. Gabe’s only been gone two weeks and I’m swamped. We’re going to lose customers if our service suffers—you know how competitive the rental business is.”

      “I know you’ve had a lot on your plate. Can we hire someone to…fill Gabe’s position?”

      “We can’t afford two salaries for one position.”

      Becca paled. “You’ve continued to pay his salary to us. I have to admit, I didn’t stop to think what that would mean.”

      “Believe me, I’d like to keep on paying his salary indefinitely. If business were booming, we could. But you know we’re putting СКАЧАТЬ