Let Me Hold You. Melanie Schuster

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      “You didn’t do anything really crazy last night. You were acting like a normal, happy, sexy woman. I love these photo booth pictures because they’re you, the real you. I was so happy to see you dancing through the house last night without a care in the world because that’s how you should be. There’s nothing wrong with being with a delicious man who’s obviously interested in you. I haven’t seen you like this since...” Her voice trailed away for a moment and then she finished. “Since Sam died. You deserve to start living again, Sissie.”

      Alana picked up her mug and drained the rest of her coffee, which was now stone-cold and tasted like prune juice. “I’m hungry. Are you hungry? C’mon, I’ll make you some breakfast,” she said as she abruptly left the room.

      Adrienne sighed deeply as she watched her sister depart, but in seconds she was right on her heels. She found her in the kitchen staring into the refrigerator. “I already made some scones, all you have to do is make an omelet if you feel up to it,” she said hopefully.

      “Sure, no problem. Are you eating meat these days or what?”

      “If it’s smaller than me and can’t get away, I’ll devour it, whatever it is. I’m gonna be as big as a house in a few weeks,” Adrienne said as she rubbed her still-tiny belly.

      Alana emerged from the refrigerator with eggs, cream, cheese, scallions, mushrooms and sausage. “Can you get me a red pepper and that package of bacon, please?”

      “Only if you talk to me,” Adrienne said, but she opened the door to get the items. “You can’t shut me out because you know I’ll wear you down.”

      Alana busied herself chopping and slicing and getting out the skillets. Her kitchen was large, orderly and well-stocked; it looked like a place where a person could get some serious cooking done. To forestall a spate of wheedling from her persistent sister, she began talking as she put the sausage on to brown.

      “Look, Adrienne, there’s nothing to talk about, really. Nothing much has changed around here. I’m still working hard and that’s about it. If you want to talk about changes, Alexis is your girl. She’s the newlywed and the expectant mother. And you’ve got your own little bun in the oven. Isn’t that enough of a change for you?”

      Adrienne reached for a piece of the bright red sweet pepper before answering. “We can talk about me anytime. I want to know how you’re doing. I know how hard the holidays are for you, that’s why you always come out to California to stay with me, or you go to New York to stay with Aunt BeBe. But since we’re both here you won’t be able to hide out like you usually do. Don’t you think we should talk about that?”

      Alana cracked the eggs on the side of the glass bowl with amazing accuracy and a bit more force than normal. She poured in some cream and shook in salt, pepper and paprika before picking up the whisk and beating them into a fluffy froth.

      It was true; Alana had a lot of difficulty with the holidays these days. Ever since her husband had died the week before Christmas, all she could think about at this time of year was losing the love of her life.

      It was so unfair; it was so wrong that he’d died so young. There were times when she knew deep in her soul that she was doomed to be alone forever. No one could ever take his place in her heart or her life and that was just the way it was going to be. She’d be a lonely widow for the rest of her life and spend all her time and money doting on the nieces and nephews she was sure to accumulate.

      With three younger sisters and several sister-friends, she knew that she’d be blessed with many children in her life one way or the other. Giving herself a sharp mental kick in the head, she forced herself to focus on the here and now and to stop being neurotic. Alana had no patience with weak and whiny people, and she wasn’t about to turn into one herself, especially now.

      She always pretended that everything was well in her world, but it was really hard to keep up the façade in the middle of all the celebrating. Her family was big on Christmas and she just didn’t have it in her to celebrate anymore. It was easier to head for sunny California and hide out with Adrienne because her younger sister understood the situation better than anyone else. But this year Adrienne was here in Columbia and she had no reason to hide out in LA. Nor could she take refuge in New York with her mother’s sister who was her other haven in the storm of emotions that arose every Christmas.

      She did, however, have a way of deflecting her sister’s interrogation by changing the subject to Adrienne’s situation, which she did.

      “Do you mind setting the table for us? These will be finished in about two minutes. And I think a much better topic for us to discuss is my future nephew that you’re carrying. This is going to mean some big changes for you,” Alana reminded her sister. “Are you ready for this new life?”

      Adrienne smiled as she assembled the plates and silverware to lay out on the table. “This wasn’t what I thought was going to happen, that’s for sure. But yes, I’m ready. I have a new life inside me and since the original scenario didn’t play out as planned, I’ve switched to plan B and I’m very cool with it.”

      “You’re a better woman than I am, then. Because I’d be lining up lawyers from here to Timbuktu,” Alana said with a frown as she expertly flipped a plump, golden omelet and slid it onto the plate that Adrienne handed her. “You agreed to be a surrogate mother to help out your friend Sierra and then she and her husband up and get divorced. Now neither one of them wants the baby and you’re left holding the diaper bag. And you’re okay with that?”

      Adrienne shrugged as she buttered a scone. “I was remarkably naive and way too eager to play fairy godmother, no pun intended. But the baby didn’t ask for any of this and I owe it to him to be a good, stable mother. And to be totally honest I was kinda getting baby fever anyway,” she admitted. “I was making goo-goo eyes at every baby I saw and dreaming about being pregnant night after night. My biological clock was going tick-tick-tick and despite the circumstances, I’m quite happy about becoming a mom. It was obviously meant to be,” she said calmly.

      Alana raised her eyebrows and stared at Adrienne. She was sitting across the table in the sunny kitchen looking as though she didn’t have a care in the world while she was carrying a baby that wasn’t hers. Adrienne had always been the laid-back sister with the most open-minded outlook on life, but to be so accepting and cheerful in the midst of all this potential drama bordered on the unbelievable. Adrienne read her thoughts as usual and gave her a cheeky grin.

      “Don’t try to understand me, just love me. I’m very happy. I have a ton of money saved from the last two movies I did and I have full medical insurance. When my stuff gets here from LA, I’m going to move into Alexis’s house and gestate until my little boy is born. I’ve got this, Sissie. Don’t worry about me.”

      Alana sipped her second giant mug of coffee as she studied her sister’s pretty face, which was completely serene. She was so absorbed in her examination that she almost missed Adrienne’s next words.

      “So that’s enough deflection for the morning. Let’s get back to you,” she said, pointing at Alana with a piece of scone. “You can’t make your annual yuletide trip to see me in Cali since I’m right here underfoot. You also can’t hide out in New York with Aunt BeBe, because she’s here, too. I think it’s a sign that you need to do something completely different this year. This is the year that you cleanse all the angst and regret from your soul and begin to live again. I suggest you start with that hot hunk Roland Casey. He really likes you, Sissie. I had a dream about you two last night and it revealed to me that he’s your soul mate,” she confided.

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