From Heartache To Forever / Melting The Trauma Doc's Heart. Alison Roberts

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СКАЧАТЬ you can spare the time. I’d be really grateful and they do need me.’

      She met Ryan’s eyes, one eyebrow raised a fraction. ‘Are you OK with this?’ he murmured.

      As if James had left her with a choice…

      ‘It’s fine, Ry. I don’t have to be anywhere,’ she said quietly, surrendering to the inevitable, and she turned back to James. ‘Go. You’re right, they could really use you. Sam’s tearing his hair out and Livvy’s rushed off her feet. We’ll be fine.’

      He nodded, his face relieved. ‘Thanks, Beth. You’re a star. And while you’re at it, if you could convince him to apply for the permanent post, you’ll have my undying gratitude.’

      Her heart thudded, the flicker threatening to turn into a full-on panic attack.

      ‘I thought the application window was closed?’

      ‘It’s been extended. So—if you could twist his arm?’

      He was smiling, but his meaning was clear, and they were desperate for another consultant, but simply seeing Ryan again had sent her emotions into freefall and her hard-won status quo felt suddenly threatened. A locum post was one thing, but she didn’t know if she could cope with him here on a permanent basis, not when she was finally putting her life and her heart back together after the last two agonising years.

      Not that it, or she, would ever be the same again…

      Anyway, it wasn’t relevant, because he was committed to Medicine For All, the aid organisation he’d been working with for the past two years, and she knew how strongly he felt about that. He’d walked away from Katie because she didn’t understand, so there was no way he’d be looking for a permanent job and he obviously hadn’t been clear enough with James.

      ‘Leave it with me,’ she said, which wasn’t a yes but it was the best she could do, because she was oddly torn between wanting to run away and wanting to talk to him, to find out how he was.

      Because something had changed him, she could see that at a glance. He was thinner, his face slightly drawn, shadows lurking in the back of his eyes. The same shadows that lurked in hers after all that had happened between them? Or other shadows, from the things he’d seen in those two years? Both, probably.

      ‘Sure?’ James asked, maybe finally picking up on the tension running between them, and she nodded.

      ‘I’m sure. Go. Leave it to me.’

      ‘Thank you. I know you’ll do your best. I’ll see you on Monday, Ryan. I’m really pleased you’ve agreed to join us.’

      ‘So am I. I’ll look forward to working with you.’

      They shook hands and she watched James go, then Ryan turned back to her with a wry smile that touched her heart.

      ‘Forget the guided tour. Is there somewhere quiet we can go and get a coffee?’

      She felt a wave of relief and nodded. ‘Yes. There’s a café that opens onto the park. We can sit outside.’

      The café was busy, but they found a little bistro table bathed in April sunshine and tucked out of the way so they could talk without being overheard, and he settled opposite her and met her eyes, his searching.

      ‘So, how are you?’

      Her heart thumped. ‘Oh—you know.’ She tried to smile. ‘Getting there, bit by bit. You?’

      That wry, sad smile again, flickering for an instant and then gone. ‘I’m OK.’

      She wasn’t sure she believed him, but there was something else…

      ‘So, how come you’re here, in Yoxburgh? Is that deliberate?’ she asked, needing to know if he’d sought her out or just stumbled on her by accident, but he nodded slowly.

      ‘Yoxburgh? Yes, sort of. I needed a job, there was one here, and I know it’s a lovely place. But I didn’t know you were here, if that’s what you’re asking, not until I saw you.’

      ‘Would you have applied if you’d known?’

      He shrugged. ‘Not without talking to you first to see if you were OK with it.’

      ‘Why? If you needed a job—’

      ‘There are plenty of jobs.’

      ‘But not here.’

      ‘No. Not here, and I wanted to be here, but now—well, that depends.’

      Her heart hiccupped. ‘On?’

      ‘You, of course. If you’re working in the ED, we’ll probably be working together. I’m OK with that, we worked well together before, but us—you and me—that’s different. Much more complicated, and the last thing I want is to make things difficult for you, so I need to know if you’re going to be OK with me being underfoot all the time.’

      Was she?

      ‘Just so long as you don’t expect to pick up where we left off. Well, not that, obviously, but—you know. Before…’

      He frowned, his eyes raw. ‘I don’t expect anything, Beth. The way we left things, I’ve got no right to expect anything. For all I know you might be back with Rick.’

      ‘Rick?’ It startled a laugh out of her because after everything that had happened Rick was so far off her radar it was almost funny. ‘No way. He was a lying cheat, why would I be back with him, any more than you’d be back with Katie?’

      He gave a startled laugh. ‘OK, I can see that, but—someone?’

      ‘No. It’s just me, and I’m happy that way. You?’

      He laughed again. ‘Me? I haven’t had time to breathe, never mind get involved with anyone. Anyway, people get expectations and then it all gets messy.’

      ‘Not everyone’s like Katie.’

      ‘No. They’re not.’ He studied her, his eyes stroking tenderly over her face. She could almost feel their touch, but then he closed them and shook his head with a little laugh. ‘I can’t believe you’re in the ED. What brought that on? I thought Theatre was your life.’

      ‘You can talk. I thought surgery was your life.’

      He shrugged. ‘People change. I was facing a lifetime of increasing specialisation, and I didn’t want to spend every day doing the same thing over and over again until I’d perfected it. I wanted a change, and MFA provided me with that, and over the course of my time with them I realised I like trauma work. I like the variety, the pace, but you…’

      ‘I wanted a change, too.’ Needed a change, because everywhere she’d looked there’d been reminders of what she’d lost, and she’d found working in Theatre with anyone but him just plain wrong. ‘So, when did you get back?’

      ‘Two weeks ago. I’ve been back a few times on leave, picked up a bit of locum work here and there to refill the coffers СКАЧАТЬ