Her Forgiving Amish Heart. Rebecca Kertz

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      Her head came up and anger lit her expression. “You think that’s funny?”

      Holding her gaze, he shook his head. “Nay.” He was glad to see her angry and less afraid.

      “How long will this storm go on?” she complained after another clap of thunder reverberated throughout the store.

      “Are you asking me for an answer?” he quipped with amusement.

      He felt happy when Leah narrowed her gaze at him. Anger was so much better than fear. She’d endure the storm better if he continued to taunt and tease, keeping her fury alive.

      “What are you doing out in the storm anyway, Leah?” he asked.

      “I was—” She stopped. “What business of it is yours?” she snapped.

      Henry shrugged. “None, I guess. I’m just curious.” He leaned casually back against a stack of cardboard boxes filled with merchandise. “Doesn’t seem smart to venture out in a storm so far from home.”

      She opened and closed her mouth several times, clearly trying to come up with a retort. Her lips firmed. He hid his pleasure when her eyes shot daggers at him. “It wasn’t storming when I left this morning for New Holland,” she replied through tight lips.

      “You went to see Mary and Ethan Bontrager.”

      She looked shocked. “How did you know?”

      He was starting to feel uncomfortable with his wet hair and soaked clothes. “I know that you and Mary are friends and Mary married Ethan, then moved to New Holland.”

      She looked horrified. “How do you know who my friends are? You’ve not been coming to church services or any Visiting Sundays!”

      “Ja, but I’m friends with Isaac.”

      “Isaac and you are spending time together?” She gasped.

      He had to stifle his own spark of anger. “Ja, your cousin has forgiven me as the other members of the community have.” He paused. “Except for you.”

      Her eyes widened as she gazed up at him. She was obviously at a loss on how to respond. He detected a flash of remorse in her eyes before she looked away. The fact that she didn’t deny it hurt. “I forgave you,” she mumbled, looking away.

      Skeptical, he pushed away from the boxes. “I’m going to check outside. See how the storm is doing.” He hoped it would be on its way out, for it hurt to endure Leah’s judgment of him. He strode out of the storage room toward the back entrance. He opened the door and released a sharp breath when he saw the pouring rain. He detected a brightening in the sky that told him the worst of the storm has passed. The distant rumble of thunder confirmed it. The thunderstorm had moved on, leaving only rain. The wind had left as quickly as it’d blown in.

      Henry shut the door. He wasn’t eager to return to the storage room. He’d lived with the guilt of what he’d done long enough. He didn’t need Leah Stoltzfus reminding him of his past mistakes. He still felt bad enough as it was. He moved to the window to stare at the rain until it slowed, then finally stopped.

      * * *

      Henry was gone a long time. It shouldn’t bother her but it did. Leah listened and realized that she could no longer hear thunder. The small room where she stood had muffled the storm and she felt less frightened. Or was it her fury at Henry that had caused her to forget the storm?

      Should she wait for his return? She closed her eyes. She wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t come back. She’d been awful to him, and she felt bad about it.

      He and Isaac talked about me? And just like that her anger returned. She closed her eyes and prayed. Anger was a sin. She needed to fight it.

       ’Tis not right to be angry or deliberately cruel to a man who helped me when I needed aid most.

      She didn’t know how to deal with Henry Yoder—or any man for that matter. She’d never had a sweetheart, never had any man’s attention and her at nearly twenty-four years of age.

      Leah closed her eyes. Resigned to being an old maid, she would choose her own future. She ran her fingers across the multicolored quilt that Henry had given her. The pattern was lovely, the stitches neat and even. She always appreciated good craftsmanship. One day, she’d open a craft store where she’d stock quilts just like this one. She’d use the money she’d earned and saved for years, sewing prayer kapps and clothes for other church community members, and making craft items and selling them wherever she could. She also did mending for a few of the women who said they were too busy. It wouldn’t matter if she didn’t have a husband and children. She would focus on her dream and she would be happy. With the Lord’s help, she’d find the peace and enjoyment in being a store owner—and she wouldn’t let it upset her that her father never urged her to find a husband like he did with her sisters. He’d pushed her older sister, Nell, to find a husband first—which she did, although the fact that he was an Englisher had been a problem at first. Then, there was Meg. Three years younger than her, Meg was happily married to Peter Zook, a nice young man and member of their church community. As for her other younger sisters Ellie and Charlie, there was plenty of time for them to find sweethearts, although she’d witnessed firsthand the attention that the community boys gave them. She knew they would marry and have families of their own, even if she never did.

      Which bought her thoughts back to Henry Yoder. The only man who had shown her kindness—for a little while anyway. His snarky attitude afterward just confirmed that she wasn’t worth any man’s attention.

      She scowled. Not that she would ever like Henry Yoder. The man couldn’t be trusted. She had forgiven him for what he’d done to Isaac. But forget? Never.

      Leah wondered how long she should stay in the room. Was Henry upset enough to leave her there? To lock up the store and go home? And what would she do if he did? How would she get her horse and wagon? Were the pole-barn doors locked? Would she be able to slide them open if they weren’t? Panic set in and she had trouble catching her breath. She recognized her symptoms as hyperventilation, having suffered from it once before. Yet, she was powerless to help herself.

      “Leah, the rain’s stopped.” Henry entered as she struggled to slow her breathing. She heard him utter an exclamation and saw him rush out of the room. He returned within minutes with a paper bag. “Leah,” he coaxed softly, “breathe into this.”

      She looked up with relief as she took it and held it over her nose and mouth. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply into the bag until she was able to draw a normal breath. She could sense Henry’s presence, feel his concern. She was a terrible person. The man had been there for her twice, and she’d snapped at him like a shrew.

      Slowly she opened her eyes and faced him. Henry studied her with concern, which eased when she pulled the bag from her mouth. He was taller than her by several inches. She looked up at him with remorse. “I’m sorry.”

      He frowned. “What for?”

      “My behavior.” For some reason, her voice was hoarse and she didn’t know why.

      The grin that curved up his mouth lit up his face and sky blue eyes. “Leah,” he said, “I was trying to make you mad.”

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