Home For Christmas. Carrie Weaver

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СКАЧАТЬ He was a dead man.

       Beau had a vision of God somewhere above, laughing his ass off.

       Nancy held Ana’s warm, little frame close to her chest and inhaled the scent of baby shampoo and freshly scrubbed little girl. Her heart did a flip-flop of joy. These were the times to be treasured.

       Easing into the antique bentwood rocker, she sighed at the pure luxury of sitting. She pushed gently with her foot.

       Ana snuggled close and murmured, “Mama.”

       “Yes, sunshine, Mama’s here.”

       She continued rocking long after Ana’s eyes had fluttered closed and her breathing slowed. Having a child was a miracle Nancy had given up on long ago.

       Sighing, she rolled her neck to work out the kinks. The power struggles and tantrums would ease in a few months. Tatiana would grow out of them, she was sure. Nancy just wished she was half as sure she’d survive her first year of motherhood. Nobody had told her how all-consuming it was. And rewarding. And frustrating. And how she wouldn’t change a minute of it.

       She’d joined Parents Flying Solo at the urging of Ana’s pediatrician. After two sleepless nights for both mother and daughter, and one ruptured eardrum for Ana due to an infection, Nancy had surrendered to her doubts. Would she ever get it right?

       The kindly doctor had told her there were no right or wrong answers with parenting. Children, even children who weren’t adopted from a foreign country, didn’t come with instruction manuals. With the initial cultural and language barriers and the fact that Nancy was single and had no one to help pick up the slack, she had been severely in danger of burnout. And what would have happened to Tatiana then?

       That’s how he’d convinced her to join the support group for single parents. For Ana, not for herself.

       But then she’d met Emily and a few other parents and she’d enjoyed talking with people who understood what she was going through. No one seemed to look down on her because she, a single woman, had chosen to adopt a child and now was experiencing the trials that went with it.

       It was a much different scenario from some of the people back home in McGuireville, Arkansas. Many of those had made veiled comments about her suitability as a parent. As if having a man in the house would guarantee a bright, normal, carefree childhood for Ana. She’d be willing to bet those narrow-minded folks would feel she deserved to struggle in her new role as a mother.

       So how to handle her new parenting buddy? Her concentration had been so focused on getting Ana outside before a full-blown tantrum, she’d barely heard her name and the fact she’d been paired with Beau Stanton. She’d only had time to fling her business card in Beau’s direction, accept his card and leave.

       As she placed Ana in her crib, the phone rang.

       It was Beau.

       His accent brought memories of another man, another place. And a sense of loss so intense she sucked in a breath. No, she couldn’t allow memories of Eric to somehow get tangled up with Beau, urging her to rewrite history by trying to get another restless man to change.

       Beau’s words seeped through her distraction. “I’m quitting.”

       “You’re dropping out of the group?” Her voice was shrill.

       “I’ve given it some thought. I, um, joined the group under false pretenses and it wouldn’t be fair for me to be a buddy to anyone.”

       Just as she’d suspected. Beau was a lying, cheating charmer, just like Eric. Her voice was cool when she said, “Oh, and what false pretenses would those be?” A wife at home?

       “Um, well, I figured it would be a good way to meet people.”

       “There are bars and singles groups for that.”

       “No, not that way. Lord, no.” His voice held a convincing note of horror. “It seemed like a good way for the new guy in town to drum up business leads.”

       Nancy couldn’t help but chuckle. “If that’s the case, I joined under false pretenses, too. I only went because Ana’s pediatrician suggested it. I did it for Ana, not me. And I have to admit, I always make sure I have plenty of business cards in my purse before I leave for the meeting. Hey, it’s a reality of sales.”

       “But you see why it’s not a good idea for us to be buddies?”

       The man was giving her an out. So why didn’t she pounce on it? Because she was afraid her unofficial buddy, Emily, might not have as much time for her now that Emily had an official buddy. And that made her feel terribly alone. “I appreciate you being honest with me. The brochure says honesty and trust are the key components to a successful buddy friendship.”

       “But it doesn’t say how often we have to talk.” He hesitated. “Maybe we could ease into this whole thing?”

       Nancy smiled. She’d had several impressions of Beau and easing into things wasn’t one of them. The man jumped into life without worrying about consequences. “Yes, we can ease into it. We don’t even have to see each other face-to-face except for meetings.”

       She could hear the relief in his tone, when he said, “Yeah, that’s right. We just call each other once in a while, no big deal.”

       “No big deal.”

       Nancy was still smiling after he ended the call. Beau Stanton was afraid of her. The thought lifted her most pressing doubt about him. He wasn’t about to try to seduce her. As a matter of fact, he seemed to prefer not to be anywhere near her.

       Shaking her head, she realized her analysis of him remained sound—Beau would definitely be bad news in the romance department. But since she seemed to scare the heck out of the man, it wasn’t a problem.

       Nancy led Ana by the hand. “You’ll get to play with the other kids. It’ll be fun.”

       They entered the Parents Flying Solo meeting and Ana made a beeline for the toys. As usual, children were everywhere. It was one of the things she liked about the group. Children were always welcome at the meetings. Otherwise, she might have hesitated to take the time away from Ana.

       The group was small enough, though, that she could keep an eye on her daughter as she joined some little friends.

       “There you are,” Emily said. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

       Curiosity shone in her friend’s eyes. “So dish. How’s your buddy?”

       “Beau is fine. We’ve decided to be phone friends.”

       “Oh.” Emily sounded disappointed.

       “What did you expect? Wedding bells? Fireworks?”

       “I was hoping you’d had great sex. Since I don’t get any, I figured I could live vicariously through you.”

       “I’m not sure I’ll ever trust enough for that kind of intimacy again, so you’d better live vicariously through someone else.”

       Emily patted Nancy’s arm. “I have confidence in you. I took a vow of celibacy СКАЧАТЬ