The Mistresses Collection. Оливия Гейтс

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СКАЧАТЬ now, without her right here with me, it almost feels like a part of me is missing.”

      “It’s a motherly thing.”

      She had to grin. “How would you know?”

      “My sister-in-law said something the same the first time their eldest had a sleepover. She said it felt like a limb was cut off.”

      Trinity considered that and nodded. Made sense. A child was such an integral part of her mother. Or she should be.

      He glanced toward that downstairs bedroom. “Cruiser’s still on duty.”

      She angled up. The dog was in the exact same position as they’d left him and now Zack was taking a seat at the foot of her chair.

      With her huddled up and Zack resting back against a neighboring recliner, one arm balanced on a bent knee, she forced herself to accept his proximity and they watched the fire’s sleepy flames dance and curl. Listening to the faint snap and occasional tumble of ash, inhaling the aroma of fresh coffee, knowing the snow was falling gentler now…She tried to put all the negatives out of her mind and focus on this perfect peaceful moment.

      She was nowhere near ready for Zack’s somber question when it came.

      “Trinity, what happened to your parents?”

      A terrible ice-cold then burning heat flooded her middle. He’d caught her off guard… . She didn’t talk about the past. She’d worked to put it behind her where the pain or numbness belonged. But she and Zack would never meet again and, while he might be curious now, it was a sure bet he’d forget her and their conversations much sooner than she ever would.

      And, after thinking about her foster years just now, she felt an odd niggling need to share.

      “I’d like to believe my mother loved me,” she finally said, “even though I wasn’t a product of love. My foster mother told me when I should have been too young to know that my mother was raped.”

      Swinging around, Zack swore under his breath. “Please tell me that woman’s child-minding days are over.”

      “I keep in touch with a couple of people where I grew up. They assure me that she’s long since retired.”

      He rolled back one shoulder and a measure of the distaste dragging on his mouth eased. “Did you have other family?”

      “Apparently my grandparents wanted my mother to give me up. She fought to keep me, but one night, not long after I was born, I was taken away. To this day I don’t know how the legalities were handled—I think some forging must have gone on—but it seems my grandparents thought she’d get over it. That eventually my mother would get on with her life…or, rather, the life they’d prescribed for her. She didn’t, or couldn’t. My mother left her home and set out to find me.”

      Trinity always smiled when she remembered that part of her story, but never for long.

      “With no money or support,” she went on, “my mom ended up on the streets. I found that all out when I hired a P.I. a couple of years back. He also learned that my mother died a day before her twentieth birthday.”

      Zack’s jaw was thrust forward but his eyes were glistening enough for Trinity to see her own reflection. “Your grandparents?”

      “They’ve both passed away. As far as that P.I. could ascertain, they never tried to find me. My mother was an only child so there are no uncles or aunts, either.”

      He bowed his head, shook it once and murmured, “I’m sorry. I can understand why you made that decision.”

      “Which decision?”

      “Not to have a family of your own. That’s a lot to cope with. A lot to forgive.”

      Forgiveness was a strange concept, Trinity thought now, gazing into the fire. She’d heard a person needed to forgive a wrong committed against them in order to get on with their lives. But she’d gotten on with hers without needing to forgive. She could stem the tears. She could logically plan for the future. That’s why she’d made that promise not to have children of her own and, since that time, had never second-guessed it. Had never thought differently.

      Until today.

      Taking care of Bonnie was so rewarding. Felt so worthwhile. Of course she didn’t plan to run off and get pregnant or anything as crazy as that. But for the first time, she truly understood why, in times so full of uncertainty, people took the risk and brought innocent defenseless lives into this world.

      Why people took a chance on falling in love.

      Trinity had been asleep for an hour when Cruiser padded over to where Zack stood, hands slotted into the back pockets of his jeans, studying the vast panorama of snow. The dog knocked his nose against Zack’s leg and gave a barely audible gruff. It took one-point-five seconds to interpret. Bonnie was stirring.

      He wondered why Cruiser hadn’t gone to Trinity instead. Most likely because the mistress was sound asleep while the master was whiling away the time, daydreaming about how different, peaceful—lonely?—the place would be tomorrow after the snow had started to melt and everyone had gone their respective ways.

      Be that as it may, he was the “fetch it” guy. Trinity took care of the baby.

      He could always steer Cruiser over to where she lay curled up on that recliner. But he’d used up that card this morning when the baby was wet and he’d cleared his throat hoping Trinity would wake and take the pressure off. Of course, that had been before he’d heard the rest of her story.

      Good Lord. What an eye-opener. He’d known his life was blessed a hundred different ways. A great family. A terrific childhood, even if his father hadn’t been around half as much as he should. When Trinity had admitted her mother had been a victim of rape then had suffered such injustice at the hands of her own parents…

      Zack grimaced.

      Who in the name of God could scheme to get rid of their own blood? To his mind, a child conceived through such a violent act deserved consideration, protection, all the more. It was surreal to know that same child was the woman asleep on his lounge now.

      He couldn’t hope to grasp how she must feel. How she dealt with that past brewing in the back of her brain every day. Or perhaps she’d succeeded in blocking it out most of the time. Isn’t that what survivors sometimes did?

      Probably good those grandparents were deceased. Since Trinity’s confession, he’d needed to tamp down the urge to form a plan to seek them out, and not to host a family reunion. His own Gran and Pap were the backbone of the Harrison clan. Where family was concerned, no sacrifice was too big for either one. Never having known that kind of bond, would Trinity feel alien in his family’s company?

      Although no family—including his—was without its hiccups. And shadows, past and present. They simply kept them better hidden than most.

      Cruiser’s snout nudged again and Zack came back to the situation at hand. Baby awake. Captain needed on deck. He blew out a breath and shook out his hands. He could do this. Hell, it was the least he could do.

      Zack padded past Trinity’s recliner. She was breathing evenly, brow smooth, eyes closed. СКАЧАТЬ