Weddings Collection. Кэрол Мортимер

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СКАЧАТЬ both spoke at the same, the words coming out one at a time, slow and painful. Then they stopped, looked up.

      Willow started again. ‘I can’t expect you to understand—’

      ‘I can’t begin to explain,’ Mike said, ‘to expect you to—’

      Then Willow frowned. ‘What are you apologising for, Mike? I’m the one who ran out on the big day. Left you standing at the altar.’ She couldn’t bear to look at him. ‘It was that awful juicer,’ she raced on before he could say anything, tell her how much he was hurting. She could see that for herself. He looked grey. ‘I had this nightmare picture of me in that vast kitchen, frilly apron, big Stepford-wife smile, every morning for the rest of my life. Squeezing oranges.’ He was staring at her. ‘I know that’s what you wanted, I thought it was what I wanted, but it isn’t. Not yet. Not for years—’

      ‘Willow—’

      ‘Actually, I hope I’ll never be ready for that.’ She sat back. ‘Is that a terrible admission? To admit that I want a career more than—?’

      ‘Than me?’ he asked.

      ‘It wasn’t like that!’

      ‘What was it like?’

      She shook her head. How could she explain? ‘I realised it as we got to the church. I realised that getting married would be the end of my life, not the beginning, and that was wrong, wasn’t it?’ He looked bemused, she realised and without thinking reached out, covered his hand with hers. ‘I’m so sorry, Mike. I realise now that I pushed you into asking me to marry you. I should never have said yes when you proposed.’

      ‘Why did you? Say yes?’

      ‘Because…because at that moment I was sure.’ At that moment she’d known she loved him. But she couldn’t say that. If she’d loved him, she wouldn’t be here. She’d be drinking champagne, she’d be happy…

      ‘And then you were offered a job that made you realise there were more exciting options.’

      She would have snatched her hand back, but he’d covered it, holding it between his.

      ‘I’m sorry, Mike. I know that sounds lame, but I don’t know what else to say. I wouldn’t have hurt you for the world. But don’t you see?’ she went on, desperate to make him understand. ‘Marrying you when I felt like that would have been much worse.’ He was looking at her with a rather strange expression and she finally extricated her fingers, embarrassed now at what, just a few hours before, would have been such natural intimacy. ‘Was it awful?’ she asked. ‘Did my mother have hysterics?’

      ‘Probably,’ he said, a glint of something almost like humour sparking in his eyes.

      ‘You didn’t hang around? I don’t blame you. Your parents…they’ve been so warm, so generous. They’ll never understand, will they?’

      ‘Not in a million years.’

      ‘They must hate me.’

      ‘I wouldn’t worry about it. You’re going to come a very poor second place to me as a target for brickbats.’

      ‘Are you saying they blamed you? But why?’

      ‘I would appear to be an all round disappointment in the son-and-heir stakes.’

      ‘But you didn’t do anything, Mike—’

      Mike reached out and reclaimed her hand, anything to stop her blaming herself. ‘Yes, I did. I don’t know whether your mother had hysterics, I have no idea what my father said, I don’t know, because I wasn’t there.’ He realised his fingers were biting into her wrist and let go. ‘I wasn’t there.’

      She frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’

      ‘I don’t expect you to. Nor to forgive me. I don’t even know how to begin to explain.’ He shook his head. ‘It seemed like a lifetime, sitting there, waiting for you to arrive. Thinking.’ He stared at the table, trying to get the words right. ‘You gave me too much time to think. If you’d been unconventional and arrived as the church clock struck the hour, well maybe we’d be dancing at our reception right now. But the longer I waited, the stronger grew the conviction that I was doing something entirely wrong. Wrong for me, that is. I found myself wondering how I’d feel if you didn’t turn up—’

      ‘Relieved,’ she said.

      His head came up with a jerk that nearly dislocated his neck. ‘You, too?’

      Startled by his vehemence, she said, ‘What?’ Her breath was coming in tiny little gasps as what he was saying finally sank in. As she realised what it meant. ‘Oh, my lord. You did it, too, didn’t you? Bailed out at the last minute.’ She felt almost dizzy with relief. ‘We both ran out on our wedding.’ She felt like laughing, clamped her hand over her mouth to stop herself. Then she said, ‘I almost made it to the church, Mike, but I couldn’t do it. Dad asked the driver to go round the block again—’

      ‘Thank God he did. If you’d stopped the first time, I’d probably have still been there.’

      ‘What would you have done?’

      ‘Done?’ He looked slightly shell-shocked by her revelation. ‘Once you had set foot in the church there wouldn’t have been anything to do. Except say “I will” and live with the consequences.’

      ‘We came so close…’ She tried to hold her finger and thumb a centimetre apart but was shaking too much. Mike caught her hand, held it between his and she looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in weeks and for a moment the words wouldn’t come. ‘S-so close to making the most almighty mistake,’ she said.

      ‘At least our nearest and dearest won’t be able to fling blame at each other over lunch. With so much in common, they’ll be able to really enjoy themselves. And there’ll be no tedious speeches to spoil the fun.’

      Willow found herself drawing in a huge breath. It felt like the first real air she’d breathed in days. ‘Well. That’s all right, then. Isn’t it?’

      ‘Is it?’

      ‘You want to go back and face the music?’ She found herself grinning at the stir that would cause. Then a ripple of laughter escaped her. ‘I don’t think so.’

      ‘No.’ Then he smiled too. ‘What we could do…’ She waited. ‘We could call Cal and ask him to bring the tickets and our luggage and go to the West Indies anyway.’

      She thought about guaranteed sunshine, soft white beaches and snorkelling in a warm clear sea. She thought about tree frogs chirping into a velvet dark night and Mike making love to her. ‘Yes, we could.’

      ‘But?’

      ‘You have to ask?’

      ‘I suppose taking the honeymoon when you’ve run out on the wedding might raise a few eyebrows.’

      Might? ‘More than a few.’ She let out a long, slow breath. ‘We’ve made a lot of people very unhappy, but they’ll understand, might even applaud СКАЧАТЬ